Living In Oblivion

35

Thousands of questions waged a battle within their eyes, but the answers remained of silence, shrouded in surprise as a small smile formed on Avanti's lips. Taking slow steps towards him, she found herself revisiting the closed chapter of her torn diary. For a moment, she questioned if it was an illusion. After all, she had restrained herself from doing exactly this for the past two days, resisting the overwhelming desire to see him just one more time. But it wasn't always right to act on one's desires and succumb to the irrationalities of the heart, which clashed with the rationalities of everything that belonged to her—only to her.

When the mistake was hers, so were the consequences she deserved.

Divit froze in place. This wasn't what he had wanted. He merely wanted to catch a glimpse of her, to see her without allowing her to see him. As she approached, he couldn't summon the courage to turn and flee, perhaps never to look back again. The accusations and reasons, helplessness and prisons hidden within their hearts, and unspoken words lingered in their eyes, held back by a thread.

As Avanti drew nearer, stopping just a few steps away, the words froze on her lips, leaving her speechless as she grappled with the awkwardness. Controlling her racing heart, she blinked and offered him a small smile. "Hi."

Lost in his own world, Divit didn't hear her at first. Whispering breathlessly, he muttered, "I was just leaving."

"Huh?" Avanti blinked, sensing his discomfort.

Understanding the tangled threads of his torn thoughts, she smiled faintly, though her heart ached sharply. "It's okay," she blinked.

Divit refrained from returning her blink. She didn't deserve it, and more importantly, he didn't deserve it—to bask in the assurance of magic that her eyes cast and believe in her honest lies. Yet, his mind desperately searched for any lies she had ever told him, and his heart sank as he found none, not a single one. Her truths were honest; only her assurances were lies.

"How are you?" she asked in a mumble, her tone soft and gentle, genuine yet feeble.

He stared back at her, unashamed and troubled, rough and bitter.

"Better than when you left me," the words escaped his mouth before he could stop them. Although his voice remained steady and a small curve of a smile refused to leave the corner of his lips, Avanti could taste the bitterness behind his words. And to the extent, that it made her flinch.

Without saying another word, Divit turned to leave, taking a few steps forward. However, he stopped abruptly as her voice reached his ears, striking a chord within his battered heart. "Divit."

He swallowed, suppressing the surge of emotions, and turned back.

"Stay," she breathed.

He looked up, meeting her gaze, breathless.

"At least for a cup of coffee or something. You've helped me a lot before, and the snowfall is getting worse," her voice strained, measured, and in control of her emotions.

Divit matched her gaze, trying to find hidden reasons in her eyes, but he found none.

"I'll leave," he nodded, making no effort to turn away.

"Stay. Please, I insist," she pleaded.

As soon as the words left her mouth, Avanti cursed herself, bewildered.

He continued to look at her for few seconds before nodding and giving in.
_______________________________________

As Avanti placed the tray on the small wooden table and sat beside it, she handed him a mug of coffee and took one for herself. Divit remained silent, his gaze fixed on her, an intensity that made her feel uneasy even in the chilly weather.