DREAM JOURNAL

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Okay I'm just gonna quickly jot down my thoughts today, Journal.

So I've made a shocking discovery last night. I was thinking about life and about how much I love Austin and how much he means to me. That's when it came to my mind. Why am I still keeping him waiting? Why am I not letting him make his dream come true? Why am I not cuddling up to him, showing some sort of physical affection?

And why does the thought of doing all that doesn't sound so appealing to me????

Yes, I know I'm bi AND trans and I'm a demiboy and I always wear binders and I don't have periods.

But now this has got me wondering
AM I AN ACE AS WELL?!?

I really don't get turned on much often (esp not by boys) and I really don't feel anything towards Austin that way.
Initially I thought I did, but that was a lie.
I was only lying to myself.
I was faking it to Austin the whole time.

This is really getting weird. I'm not aro as well, of that I'm sure. But this, on it's own.. is actually scary.

I don't know how Austin's gonna react to this.

I'm freaking out, Journal. I'm freaking out inside.

Should I tell Austin? Guess I should.
But look, Austin doesn't tell me EVERYTHING about him! Why should I tell him everything about me?
Nah, better keep this a secret.

*Sigh* I'll just have to keep faking it then.

Alright, Journal. Take care.

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