The Dreamer

DREAM JOURNAL

Day - 535

Hi Journal.

How are you? If you ask me, honestly, I'm not doing so well.

Austin's been keeping his distance from me. I could feel him getting distant since last month. And now he almost behaves like a stranger.

Did I do something wrong? Is it because of me?
I even heard some rumors at school today...
But I don't believe them to be honest. Cuz they aren't true. I mean, that's what rumors are. Lies. Or exaggerated truths. Made up by people at their own interests to cause destruction to others.
It was something like Austin is dating someone else.
I haven't seen him with any other girl so it's hard to believe. Also I asked him a couple times. He completely denied it. He never lies to me, does he? (But oh well.. let's face it, if he ACTUALLY did something of the sort–which I'm pretty sure he didn't; he can't–he wouldn't ever tell me. Obviously.)
And Also, There aren't many people he could be with. I mean. Kathy's a hotshot. So is Sarah. But they're my friends!! Good friends!! They wouldn't ever do anything like that to me. And I love Kathy so much. All my friends are so nice.
And pretty much everyone is my friend.
The rumours are spreading on the internet from an anonymous source. But good for me, nobody seems to believe them.

And why would they?!? We're perfect. Austin and I are perfect. Austin could never date another girl.

I'm just scared because of Austin. The way he's behaving. I mean. It could just be nothing. He's probably just a bit stressed out. Probably nothing's wrong. Probably it's just me and my paranoia.

But how can I be sure of it?

We still hang out together. We still play video games together. We still go in coffee dates and long walks. But.. it's just.. nothing feels the same.
Austin doesn't talk much to me anymore. Only makes small talk. He knows I hate small talk. He knows I like deep conversations. But these days, he doesn't seem to be in the mood for anything deep.

And the last time I asked him if he's started taking drugs or alcohol, he got so mad that I was legit scared. I've never seen him get that angry. He came at me like, "How could you say that!!! Is that who you think I am, huh?!? Is that??!!"

I was shocked. Terrified. Speechless. But I apologized anyway.
I get why he got mad. I totally get it. It's normal. I guess it wasn't wise of me to doubt him.
But is that the only reason why he feels so cold and so distant lately?
Guess I'll have to find out.
And there's only one way of finding out.

Get.

Austin's.

D I A R Y.