Midnight Angels

Chapter 18

'The Attack'

ZIA

Dreams. I've never had dreams ever since I've been in this place. And how can I have dreams when sleep became foreign to me just like pain? Tiningnan ko ang kama ko sa kwartong 'to. It clean. It's soft. Everything is clean and bright.

I hate it. I don't deserve this.

Itinaas ko ang kamay ko at itinapat ito sa sprinkler kaya tumunog kaagad ang speaker.

"Prisoner number—I-I mean Princess Wen, you are still not allowed to use your abilities."

Orders. Commands. Cowardness. Iginalaw ko ang kamay ko at gumawa na ng apoy kaya tumunog kaagad ang fire alarm at agad na nabasa ang paligid. I looked at the place that was now soggy and wet. Tiningnan ko rin ang ilaw at agad na itong nasira, making the room dark like what I was used to.

When the room was finally dark and the bed was wet, I walked to the corner of the room and sat there, hugged my knees, and closed my eyes.

"Tuluyan na nga siyang nabaliw."

Rinig ko pang sabi ng isang lalake na kasama noong nagbabantay sa akin. They call me crazy, out of control, and everything else hateful. It's fine. I don't mind. Maybe I am crazy, maybe I am out of control and maybe I am hateful. But those are just my maybes. One thing that I am certain is that I'm a monster.

If only I can lock myself in a dungeon, far away from everyone else.

I will never stop blaming myself for what I did. I let the demons in me control me and that disaster happened. Until my last breath, I won't stop blaming myself because I deserved it.

This isolation made me realize how dangerous my abilities are. It made me realize how dangerous I could be and how hateful I am. I am a creature with no kind. A new creature in this realm and they say that I was created solely for destruction and that I shouldn't have been born.

And I believe it. If I wasn't born, Mom and Dad won't be lying in those lab beds right now and I wouldn't have stripped Kuya Xy from Team Alpha. I just hate it. I just hate everything. Mostly myself.

Zia Muirgen Allison-Wen. Poison.

✥✥

Dreams. I don't know what it felt like to have a dream anymore. But tonight, I dreamt. I was glad that I was finally dreaming but I lost my smile when I saw them looking at me. Mom, Dad, Tita Keya, Tita Lorisse, and Team Alpha.

"It's going to be alright, Zia. It's not your fault."

I woke up, tears falling down my cheeks. No, it's not going to be okay. You just don't know. "I-It's not okay. It's not okay. I-It's not okay. It's not okay." I enchanted those words like a mantra while I was hugging my knees in the corner.

"Mom, it's not okay. I'm not okay. I-I—I.. I miss you." Yet again, another night was spent crying.

The next day, I woke up even though I don't know if I actually slept at all. Since they gave me the liberty of having a window, I saw that it was still dark outside. I figured that it might still be dawn. Tiningnan ko ang pinto ng kwartong 'to noong bumukas ito.

Tiningnan ko ang mga scouts na may dalang bagong set ng foam at bedsheets. They fixed the lightbulb, cleaned the mess on the floor, and then the room was bright again.

One of them placed a book at the foot of the bed and then left without saying a word. Breakfast was served in a tray. Bread, milk, and oatmeal. A new set of clothes arrived. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko kaya sinandal ko ang ulo ko sa pader at tumingin sa bintana.