Her Escape, His Safe Haven

Chapter 29- Define Me

Athena's POV

"How are you doing today Athena?" Dr. Cross asked as we began my appointment.

"I'm okay. I've had some really good days this week."

"Wonderful, why don't we talk about those first. Tell me the highlights of this week."

"Well, number one, was that Eli and I had our second date, and he asked me to homecoming. He was so incredibly sweet." I told her with a smile on my face.

"That's wonderful Athena, anything else?" She asked and I thought back to my week. Not much really happened. That's actually preferred at this point. I didn't have him to harass me, Beatrice is gone, I didn't get hurt. It's actually one of the best weeks I can remember.

"I think the best part of this week is that, nothing bad happened. While nothing particularly good, other than that date and such, has happened, I'm grateful that I don't have anything bad to report." I told her honestly.

"I'm glad. Have you had any nightmares?" She asked.

"Oh, no. Eli usually sleeps with me, which keeps the nightmares away."

"That's great Athena, I'm hoping that by the end of therapy, which may take a long time, you'll be able to sleep on your own without relying on anyone to keep the nightmares away. Have you been taking your meds?" 

"Every day." I told her looking down. For some reason I feel embarrassed that I have to be on something, but I know it helps, so I'm not against it.

"Good, now tell me what do you have going on this week?" 

"Tomorrow I have a dance competition." I said proudly.

"How does competing affect your anxiety?" 

"I don't think it does. I feel relaxed and free, and happy when I dance, in front of an audience or alone in my studio at home." 

"When you lived with your father," I cringed "did you find yourself at the studio a lot?" She asked.

I looked back on my time with him. I was in the studio every possible chance I got. I was there so often, Ms. Mack made me my own key. It was my escape. "I was at the studio all the time. My dance teacher noticed all the time I spent there, and she made me my own key to the place. Before that I used to just sit next to the door and wait for her to show up. Back then I hadn't told anyone what was going on so I didn't have anything but dance. It has always been my way to  escape. When I dance, it's like I can ignore everything going on. I can focus on making the turn perfect, or landing the leap just right. Sometimes, if it was really bad I'd put on a really sad song and choreograph a heart wrenching piece and use my pain to convey the emotion I needed to let out. It almost felt like I was acting the emotion rather than feeling it." I tried to explain.

"You sound incredibly passionate. I'm glad you've had dance Athena." She smile at me and I smiled back. "Did you bring photos?" 

"I did. I left them in the car though. I'm not ready to look." I told her looking down. I felt a bout of shame wash over me.

"Don't worry Athena. I'm not going to force you to look at them." Dr. Cross told me with a soothing smile. I nodded and took a deep breath. 

The rest of my appointment went by with us talking about our week and the competition I have coming up. I told her about my solo, and about how I got to help the other girls prep their pieces. She reminded me at the end of the appointment to keep taking my meds and then I left. 

"Hey best friend!" Savannah greeted when I left Dr. Cross' office. She brought me today because Eli and Mark had practice that they couldn't get out of. They are doing major prep for the homecoming game next week.