Guardian ✓

leidenschaft

SHE FORGOT HOW TO BREATHE.

For a moment. Her ears rang and the door handle dug into her back before he pulled her closer by the waist. His hands were warm, making her feel safe and unsafe at the same time.

He drew back after a long time, making her gasp for air. Her whole frame shook with tremors. It felt like the time her mother had made her shower with freezing cold water – except the room was warm and so was his touch.

Her cheeks burned and even when she could feel his heated gaze on her, she couldn't bring herself to look up.

"You can stay here if you want – I'll leave. Clearly you like my mother more than–"

"No!" Emma didn't even know she could shout, however, from the way he stopped speaking, it clearly showed how loud her protest had been. "No – please – I only want to stay with you. Please, sir. I love you. Why are you doing this?" Tears streamed down her face at the possibility of not seeing her brother again. He'll leave her like he had before and Kevin–

She moved closer to him, clutching on like he'd disappear from her fingertips. Her lips trembled, wet with tears as she closed her eyes. She didn't know where she went wrong. Was it because she was complimenting the shiny ornaments so much?

"You love a lot of people. It means nothing." His voice was gruff as he gently pushed her away from him, eyes wild.

She shook her head, crying harder. "No, sir. Please."

"Say it again." His voice, the way he towered over her – it all made her forget how to breathe. She had never felt so weak, so small.

"I love you," she cried, sinking to the floor in front of the door. " I love you. I only love you."

"Again."

"I love you, Noah."

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She couldn't speak the next morning. Nor could she eat. Or drink. Her brother never made her think that he'd make her leave.

She was permanent.

He lied.

He hurt her more than her mother and Kevin.

He kissed her.

She didn't want to think about how it made her feel. That was a dangerous territory. She never wanted to think about it.

Emma shook her head to get rid of unwanted thoughts, looking at the fresh bowl of blueberries when she heard a pair of footsteps coming down the hallway.

Noah didn't spare her a glance as he entered the kitchen, opening his suit jacket and sitting down. He had a frown on his face as Mathias handed him a file before taking a seat on the kitchen counter in front of Emma.

She let out a shaky breath as she got up with her bowl full of blueberries and went to stand in front of her brother. Before she could chicken out, she grabbed a handful and smeared them across his crisp white shirt.

"That's for lying that you'll keep me safe."

She grabbed another handful.

"That's for telling me that I am permanent."

Another smear.

"That's for the kiss – for being just like Kevin."

She didn't mean for her voice to crack at the end, didn't want him to hear the hurt seep through her words – she just – she was so devastated.

Noah couldn't be like Kevin. He just couldn't.

Instead of walking to her bedroom with her head held high, she was bawling. How utterly embarrassing.

Emma had no one to trust.

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Valeria Solomon parked the car in front of the school gates, ignoring the looks from students who were walking. Unless you were the president, no one was allowed to park in front of Crawford Academy of Arts and Sciences.

It didn't really help that their car was surrounded by heavily armed guards as well.

"Ready?" Valeria asked, a small smile on her face. "Stop thinking about Noah, sweetheart. He'll get over himself. This is your time to enjoy, get into fights, get your heart broken by a worthless guy...or girl. These six months of senior year are about you. Now get out."

Emma hastily got out of the car, stumbling away from the guard who tried to help before he got the hint and moved away from her.

Was it really okay for her to go against Noah?

"Emma Solomon?" A voice broke into her thoughts, making her flinch.

A girl with an identical uniform to hers stood in front of her with a large smile. "Hi, my name is Anna. Welcome to CAAS!"

Emma couldn't help but smile back. It was rare that people smiled at her.

"I am in the STEM program and a member of Taekwondo so the dean thought I would be the best person to show you around. Should we get your timetable?"

Emma nodded, too overwhelmed to speak.

During their walk, Emma opened and closed her mouth a few times to speak – ask questions – but failed.

"You don't have to speak," Anna muttered as they walked down the long hallway, "I'm getting paid for this so I don't mind."

"Oh."

Anna looked at Emma before laughing.

"You're cute."

.

Emma's first class was AP Biology. After Anna showed her where it was, she skipped off to see someone, leaving her alone. But that was okay. Emma knew where her classes were now.

Her teacher was greeted her with a polite smile before pointing towards the fourth last row.

"If Conrad bothers you come to me and I'll put you somewhere else."

"Me?" A guy laughed from the back, making Emma look at him. A head full of curly caramel locks. That's what she saw before the rest of him.

Very pretty, she observed.

"I can't even hurt a fly, sir. Come one newbie."

Emma went over to her seat, slightly confused. She had never been with people her age. This was very weird.

Thankfully, class started which meant she got a bit more comfortable. She'd already learned about what the teacher was teaching. Valeria Solomon just wanted her to have normalcy before college.

She had already given her exams and gotten into college.

Well, online college.

The only reason she'd been allowed to come to this place was because it was founded by her father.

"So," a person behind her whispered, nudging her when their teacher turned to face the board, "biologically speaking," he stopped to smirk when some people snickered. All except Conrad who was busy texting someone under the table, "how far have you been with a guy?"

More people laughed, making the guy grin as Emma looked at him.

What was so funny?

"Well," Emma cleared her throat to get rid of the lump that formed whenever she thought of her brother, "this one time my brother took me to see the Hansel and Gretel cottage."

It felt like the whole class was staring at her.

Did Conrad look jealous?

"That's the furthest I've gone with a guy," Emma elaborated, turning back in her seat.

She missed Noah.

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