Guardian ✓

weihnachten [i]

VALERIA SOLOMON WAS AWAY FOR A CONFERENCE.

Emma was back at her brother's house. There was no escape. Christmas holidays had started and she was not allowed to see Anna or Conrad.

Especially Conrad.

That's why Noah had come a week ago and found her and Conrad together. To get her – not because he missed her or wanted to see her but because their mom had insisted. Emma hadn't seen him ever since their car ride to his penthouse yet it felt like he was everywhere. His rich, cedar wood fragrance was everywhere. It made her heart beat like a frightened rabbit's.

It made her dizzy and confused.

She had been punished for a lot of things in her life. You deserve it had become the mantra of her tormentors. She was not allowed to feel self-pity. That got her punishment as well. She was not allowed to be angry.

No. Because she deserved it.

But this time was different. The rage inside her – she had never felt something like this before.

"Good morning, ma'am." Emma ignored his voice and turned on all the lights in the kitchen. The sun rarely showed its face in the winter so the place was darker than usual.

It scared her.

"Mr Crawford would like to go Christmas shopping today. C III shopping center would be closed from eleven am till three pm so you two can get everything done in private. Mr Crawford has requested that you get ready by ten forty-five."

She had given Matthias the silent treatment ever since that night. She was so angry at him that she didn't even reply to his good mornings and good nights. It was very impolite and the guilt ate her away the whole day but she felt betrayed–

Matthias was the first person who had been kind to her. He had no ulterior motives. He was one of the nice guys.

Then how could he not hear her that night? She had called for him. Wherever her brother went, Matthias was never far away. She knew he was standing behind the door that night. And still, he didn't help her.

"There's no need to make breakfast, ma'am. Mr Crawford would like you to have it with him."

Emma kept whisking the eggs for her fluffy pancakes, ignoring his presence. What was he going to do? Take the bowl away? She didn't care.

"Didn't you hear him?" A new voice made her freeze before she relaxed and kept whisking her eggs.

Cheese and tomato pancakes were her new favorite. Conrad didn't like them – neither did Anna but she didn't mind.

Would Noah like them?

She shook her head to get rid of her thoughts. She didn't care.

"Emma if you don't stop this right now there's going to be a repeat of that night–"

"I hate you," she blurted out before he could finish his sentence. She stood there for a moment before putting down the bowl with a thud and turned around to face him. "I hate you," she punctuated each word.

Yet, there was no satisfaction felt. She was lying. How could she hate the person she loved the most? Still, she continued. She wanted to hurt him as much as he hurt her.

"You are just like others," she finally met his eyes and smiled at the arrogance she saw in them. "What are you going to make me do this time? Saying that word isn't the worst thing I've done, you know? I was made to much more. Would you like that? We can do it right now. Matthias won't do anything," she turned her attention to Matthias who had an unreadable look in his eyes and smiled, "will he? Because he answers to you." She looked at Noah now, lifting her chin. "So, please don't look at me like that. You're only allowed to do that when I can inflict as much pain on you as you do on me, sir."

She turned back, ignored the way her hands shook at the prospect of what she'd done and continued making her strange pancakes that no one liked much. Maybe he was going to send her back to live with Kevin and her real mother.

That was... okay. Her worst fear in that house, locked away, was that she would never be able experience normalcy. And while the months here had been anything but normal, she felt like she wasn't going to die with any regrets. For people who didn't have a lot of choice, people like her, that was more than enough.

She smiled when her pancake was done. It did look kind of ugly. But it wasn't like she was making it for someone else who had high expectations from her. So she took a large bite, still smiling as she looked outside at the grey and gloomy sky and enjoyed her breakfast. Emma would have offered some to Matthias who still stood in the kitchen, so quiet that if it wasn't for how tall he was, she wouldn't have even realised. But he answered to Mr Crawford, right? So who was she to ask him anything.

She washed her hands at the sink before going back to her room and getting ready for some Christmas shopping. Family feud aside, she did need to give some presents this year.

If Noah was surprised to see her in the car, he managed not to show it. Matthias became more tense so that was a sign, she guessed. A sign that this ride was going to as wonderful as all the others she's had with her brother.

.

.

.

"I'll be at this spot at exactly one forty-five, sir." Emma announced as they entered the shopping center, resisting the urge to coo at the shiny glass everywhere.

She was going to be very distracted.

"Do you have–" Noah stopped when Emma showed him her card.

Courtesy of Valeria Solomon, of course.

Before he could demand that she come with him, she was already making her way down the stairs.

Anna wanted a record player this year.

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