Guardian ✓

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IT WAS DARK OUTSIDE.

When she kissed Conrad goodbye, Noah smiled. Perhaps the choice, 'smile' did not give justice to the cruel twist of her brother's lips. The sadistic glint in his eyes as he watched the boy leave as if he was being chased by a rabid dog.

No. Smile did not do it justice.

"Didn't you miss me?" She asked softly when Conrad was out of sight.

Was I not permanent?

"It seems like you didn't miss me much." Noah ignored her question, closing the door behind him and walking closer towards her. He took a damp lock of her hair, "Your hair has grown," he observed.

She looked down, swallowing to get rid of her dry throat.

So close. Will he kiss me again?

Is he angry?

"Who is he?" He asked as if he hadn't been aware of her every single activity for the past three months.

He was aware of her from the time she woke up to her nightmares and to when her tears finally dried and she went to sleep.

She smiled, taking his hand and leading him to the sofa.

"You cannot hurt him, Mr Crawford."

He cocked an eyebrow, letting out a harsh laugh that almost made her leap away from him. But he was never cruel to her. He won't hurt her like Kevin. So, she stayed put, eyes cast downward.

"Oh? I can't? Why's that?" He took her damp lock between his fingers again. This time, she could feel his grip. It didn't hurt, though.

"You can hurt me instead," she whispered. "Why hurt someone who doesn't know what it feels like? Just use me."

His froze for a second – perhaps, she'd imagined it – before he was pulling her on his lap. She struggled for a moment, blind panic making it impossible for her to see it was her saviour and not her tormentor.

"I haven't even started, sweetheart. Scared already?" He voice was low – soothing. A complete contrast to his words. But somehow it calmed her down.

She stopped moving. Instead, she tried to focus on the scenery outside her window. It was late. Where was her mother?

She didn't want to call her, her step-mother. No.

It became harder to concentrate outside when he started rubbing her bare legs on either side of him. It didn't feel bad – no – it just... felt right in a wrong way.

She was going to lose her mind. Succumb to insanity before she even got to see what she had missed all these years.

She froze as he leaned forward, closing her eyes as she felt his cool breath on her cheek. He kissed her eyes before her left cheek.

"You're not allowed to kiss him, okay?"

And how could she say no to that? Was this what people meant when they said they were drunk?

"He can't hold you, okay?"

She opened her eyes, finally looking into his before nodding. What even compelled her? She desperately wanted to know.

"You're not allowed to fuck him, okay?"

She leaned forward for the first time, lifting her hand to trace his jaw, his cheekbone and his lips. Her lips parted as she leaned in to kiss him. If he doesn't care then why should she?

It's wrong.

She gasped, moving back. Before Noah could bring her to finish what she had started, she got up and moved to her bed. He had stopped rubbing her legs and she was cold.

Why did she feel so hot then?

"Y-you can't say that word–"

"What word?" Noah got up from his place.

This time there was no smile on his face. But his eyes were teasing. She gulped. And pulled the comforter around her as tight as she could.

"T-that – Momma says it's not what civilised people–"

And Father Joseph said it's bad to curse. She might go to hell for it. Maybe. She wasn't really sure yet but Father Joseph was teaching her slowly.

And Kevin liked to say it a lot.

"Oh? You think I'm not civilised?" He interrupted. He was making fun of her. She felt so stupid. He always made her feel that way. He just didn't care. "Say it," he commanded.

"W-what?" She stuttered, looking towards the door and pleading that Matthais or her mother would just barge in.

"Say it or I'll send Matthias to run him over with my jeep."

She whimpered.

"B-but – the J-jeep–"

"Yes. And we all know how scared you are of it–"

"Because it's scary!" She cried.

He shook his head, stifling a laugh.

"Say it."

She closed her eyes, feeling the urge to throw up. If she told him she felt sick, would he let her off? Definitely. But he will get Matthias to run Conrad over with his jeep.

"Fuck," she mouthed at last, making him raise his eyebrows and point to his ear.

She sighed before opening and closing her mouth a few times.

"Fuck!" She screamed at the top of her lungs before bursting out into tears. Before she could run away, she was lying on her back, sobbing as he laid on top of her. This time when he grabbed her hair...it hurt.

Only a little bit. But she cried like she used to when Kevin hurt her. Her chest ached more than her head.

Noah grabbed her jaw so she was facing him – looking into his eyes. He was furious.

"He is not allowed to fucking kiss you. Hold you. Fuck you. Do you understand that?" He punctuated each word, eyes wild. "I brought you here. Do you have any idea what it felt like seeing you on top of someone?"

"Let go or I'll throw up," she sobbed, trying to get him to loosen his grip on her. "Matthias! Matthias! I know you're outside – please, oh please–"

"Shh," he whispered, kissing her wet cheek. "He answers to me, sweetheart. Besides, you wanted me to punish you, right?"

She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to imagine the Hansel and Gretel cottage. All the sweets. Chocolates.

But tonight, she couldn't.

How could he hurt her?

"He means nothing to you, understand?" He didn't expect an answer.

Noah's grip loosened before he kissed her softly.

"You're mine."

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