No Time

Chapter 22

Two sleepless nights passed, and I found myself slowly distancing myself from Jasper.

Instead of talking to him I opted for secret glances from across the room, during this time I noticed him drinking what seemed to be more coffee than water and the bags under his eyes slowly started growing.

My heart ached. I wanted to know what was causing him to lose sleep, but the part of me still processing my new discovery refused to let me talk to him.

Then one night Alex forced Jasper and I to watch a movie with him. I sat on the opposite side of the couch, away from Jasper, but of course Alex had to go and fall asleep giving Jasper the perfect opportunity to confront me.

"You're avoiding me," he stated. His voice sounded just as tired as he looked.

"No I'm not," I lied, trying to keep my gaze on the movie.

"Clara, when we're home alone you're nearly always hovering over me telling me I'm working to much, I haven't heard a peep from you in two days."

"I suppose you're right," I sighed, turning to face him.

"So then why?" He asked. "I mean not that I'm complaining, I've been able to get a lot of work don't without you hovering over my shoulder."

"I just... had an enlightening conversation with a friend."

"About?"

"You actually," I said, faking confidence.

"And what about me?"

"She just kinda has a little bit of a crush on you, and insisted on having a drawn out conversation about what living with you was like," I lied. "Talking about you so much kinda just made me feel awkward around you."

Just as he was about to open his mouth to say something else I got a text message, which I immediately opened to get out of the conversation.

Unknown: Hey Clara! I didn't get the chance to say this at the Gala the other day, but you looked even more tempting then I remember ;) -B

I felt my heart immediately drop and bad thoughts from my past rushing back like someone had just broke a dam opened.

I calmly excused myself and proceeded to go up to my bedroom. Where I began to think about everything I ate throughout the day, I immediately wanted to throw up but instead I laid on my bed and let the tears fall, bringing back all my self loathing that I though I got rid of years ago.

I don't remember how long I cried, but when I was done I desperately needed water so I made my way out of my bedroom and to the wet bar in the second floor parlor, I was on my way back to my room when I heard the yelling.

I immediately ran to the room that I believed the yelling was coming from, which just happened to be Jasper's room, and flung the door open.

What I found was Jasper sitting straight up in his bed, eyes wide open, and breathing heavily. Almost like he had just seen a ghost.

"Jasper?" I questioned softly, making him flinch.

Once he made eye contact with him he visibly relaxed and I moved closer to his bed.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, a little defensively.

"I heard screaming," I answered. "Are you okay."

He softly shook his head, almost as if he was afraid to admit he wasn't okay.

"Sometimes..." he gulped. "I have really bad nightmares."

"How often?" I asked.

"Pretty often," he shrugged. "Sometimes they're spread out, and sometimes they come for multiple nights in a row."

"What are they about?"

He just shook his head, "I can only remember in fragments."

"Jasper," I said gently. "That sounds like night terrors."

"I thought that's only something children suffer from."

"It's rarer in adults, but it happens," I replied softly.

He just nodded and slowly laid back down in his bed.

"I guess I should go back to my room now," I shrugged, not knowing what else to say.

"Do you think you could um," he passed. "Stay? I have a hard time falling back asleep."

"Okay," I nodded, slipping into bed next to him.

I had a hard time containing my surprise when he immediately wrapped his arms around me like I was a teddy bear once I was over the covers.

Once I got over my initial shock I tentatively reached my hand up to his hair and began to play with it, admiring how soft it was. In response to this he let out a deep sigh of satisfaction and closed his eyes.

Within ten minutes he was back asleep.

I wish I could say I fell asleep too, but I never did. I simply continued running my fingers through his hair, and whenever he started mumbling in his sleep he would tighten his grip on me before relaxing again, almost as if he had to reassure himself that I was still there.

It was there, in that bed, staring at the ceiling as he slept, thinking about only him, occasionally looking down at him, admiring how peaceful and childlike he looked when he slept where I finally woke up and realized that I was beginning to develop real, deep, genuine feelings for this man who had no time to come to the same realization about me.