𝙱𝚇𝙱 𝙾𝙽𝙴𝚂𝙷𝙾𝚃𝚂 | 𝚆𝙷𝚈 𝙳𝙾𝙽'𝚃 𝚆𝙴

anxiety (jachary)

warning(s): some mature language

*zach pov*
We had just finished our mashup and now we're getting changed

My anxiety's been getting worse during shows and I hate it

I haven't told anyone. Not even my boyfriend jack

I don't need them worrying about me more. They worry about me enough already because I'm the youngest

I hate hiding things from jack, but I can't bring myself to tell him, or any of them

It takes a lot to sing for over an hour almost every night

Anything you can think of, I worry about. I don't know why. I hate it so much. There's no need for me to feel like this everyday. I mean I think

"Baby you coming?"

I snapped out of my thoughts hearing jacks soft voice

I nodded and followed him onto stage

As soon as I step on, I hear jacks angelic voice, starting hooked

My mood changed quickly, looking out to the sea of fans. It's not the fans, I love them. They are amazing. It's the posters and the yells

The things they say, I can't take it

"Fag." "Go to hell." "Dick lover."

What the hell did I do to those people? Find love? Oh yeah I'm so sorry

I hear daniel finish and I take a breath, singing my part

I'm not a big help on the group parts, I'm too distracted

We sung a few more before heading off stage for our final outfit change

"Hey zachy are you ok?"

I couldn't even look jack in the eyes

"I'm fine."

He grabbed my hand and rubbed it lightly

"I can tell you know? What's going on bubba?"

"It's nothing."

"C'mon I know it's-"

"Boys stage now!"

I stand up quickly as Jon yelled at us. I pushed past jack and followed the other boys to the stage

I try everything to forget, but those words, they stuck right in my mind no matter what I did

After our last song, while jonah was in the middle of the thank you/goodbye speech, I felt my breath quicken and my chest tighten

Shit shit shit no

Thank god jonah finished. I ran off quickly and found a chair behind a curtain and sat down, trying to control my breathing

I heard the boys and I stood up, going quickly over to them

"Hey baby you ok?"

I nodded and slipped past jack, grabbing my bag and heading to the bus

"Zachy baby wait up!"

I could feel my heart pounding out of my chest as I hurried to the bus

I need my meds. I always keep them on me, incase I have an an anxiety attack, like I am right now

They're in my bag. Crap

I finally reached the bus, immediately running into the tiny bathroom and locking the door

I rustled through my bag. Clearly my meds were buried deep in it

I finally found the bottle and shook 2 of the pills out of the small bottle and swallowed them quickly with some water

I felt my the thumping in my chest slow down and my breathing return to normal

"Baby what happened? Are you alright? Let me in please."

My heart broke hearing the worry in jacks voice

I shoved the small bottle deep into my bag and unlocked the door, pushing past jack and going into my bunk

Usually I sleep in jacks bunk, since we both love cuddles, but right now, I can't even look jack in the eye

I shut the curtain, it being immediately reopened by a worried jack

"Can I come in?"

I sighed and shrugged

"I don't know."

"Are you mad at me? Did I do something?"

I shook my head

"Jacky you didn't do anything. It's me."

"Please talk to me baby. Whatever this is I wanna help. Plus you're not allowed to go through things alone, remember?"

A slight smile appeared on my face as I realized something. It doesn't matter what other people think. Jack makes me so happy, and that should be enough right?

"I love you, you know that right?"

"Baby of course I know that. I love you too."

"And you don't care that no matter how much we love each other, people still hate us?"

He let out a breath slowly

"That's what this is about..."

"Come here please."

I nodded and climbed into his chest. He rubbed my back and rocked us slowly

"Bubba I need you to know that I don't give a single flying fuck what people think. I love you so much and you make me so happy. I know you feel that way too. So it doesn't matter what a few people think ok? We have the support of real limelight's, our friends, family, and each other. That's all we need."

"Thanks jacky. I really needed that."

I could feel his smile as he kissed my head

wc: 815