The Little Red Thread: Soulmate AU (AizawaXreader)

Soulmate AU: Part 41 ⚠️

Trigger Warning: Includes character trying to cope with feeling trapped in their current situation and depression. Depicts symptoms of PTSD. Panic attack. See bottom of update for a summary.

"I can live with that," Mic said grinning, "let's pop this bad boy in and get this party staaarted!"

"Sounds great. You two go get everything sorted, Reina knows how to set everything up. We'll be out in just a sec." You promised with a tight smile as you hoped they'd take the hint.

"Works for me," Reina said before she grabbed Mic's hand with a mischievous grin plastered to her face, "looks like you're with me." She pulled him along as she sped out the room laughing.

"Hey, don't sweat it about the article. Now that I think about it, I recognize the newspaper." You said in what you hoped was a reassuring tone, "It's one of the smaller local ones which means less people have probably seen it."

Aizawa didn't look convinced as he shook his head, "Doesn't matter, there's still a handful people out there that would jump at any chance to get back at me. And now thanks to those articles, they'll see you as an opportunity to do so."

How the hell can I put an optimistic spin on this...

"If it's any consolation, I'm not worried about it. If there's any pro I'd want to have in my corner if something were to actually happen, I'm glad it's you and Mic."

"Mic?" Aizawa asked.

"Well yea, you two seem to be a package deal when it comes to this kind of stuff. He's the kind of friend that would always have your back." You said as you looked in the direction Mic and Reina ran off, "That, and you two seem to keep each other somewhat in check."

"We actually don't normally do hero work together outside of UA. We work well enough together, but I work best alone." Aizawa grumbled. 

"That sounds lonely." You replied without thinking. You cringed slightly as soon as the words left your lips.

"You get used to it." Aizawa deadpanned, but you don't miss the brief flash of emotions on his face. Frustration. Pain. Guilt. They're gone as soon as they appeared, but the memory of them ran on repeat in your mind.

"That's not... that's not something you should have to get used to Aizawa." You argued, your voice edged with concern. He doesn't respond or look up to meet your gaze.

"Aizawa? ...Shota?" You said as you tried again to get his attention. It felt strange to call him by his first name, but it made him look at you regardless.

"It doesn't matter." He said, his frustration obvious, "Who cares if I'm used to it or not, as long as the job gets done? I'm a Pro, Y/N. We don't get happy endings because there is no ending. There will always be another crisis. Another villian to stop. It doesn't matter how many we put behind bars, because there's a never ending stream of criminals to take their place.

"As soon as someone gets their hero license, they don't belong to themselves anymore. They become just another action figure to sell for the public's entertainment.  I never wanted that... I became a pro to help people, to make a difference. I don't want to be in the media's crosshairs, but at the same time this job can also be so... thankless.

"Sure, there's the occasional person that will thank us or even send a letter —and it's very kind of them when they do —but most people don't. In fact, most people are usually upset or even angry because pros didn't help them like they expected us to.

"Our society has created unrealistic expectations for people. There are pros who are able to do incredible things, but they're still just people. We can't do the impossible. Even All Might had his limit.

"I know I won't make as big of a difference as him, but I also can't step away away from it all. I can't step back and watch. I can't standby idly and let others get hurt when I know I'm able to prevent to it. It's almost worse than the feeling a person gets after doing this job for too long.

"I'm tired Y/N. I'm tired of living with the fact that no matter how hard I work as a pro or train as a teacher, there's always going to villains in the world. That I'm training children to follow one of the most violent career paths imaginable. Or that none it will leave a lasting positive impact. We're just pawns to be played with however is deemed most profitable. And if any of us decide to say to hell with it all and quit instead of retiring or dying, there's obvious disapproval.

"People won't say it out loud, but they judge the people who get away from all of this, as if it was wrong for them to choose their own mental and physical well being over others. This job isn't easy and it's definitely not for everyone, so it's better for people to get out sooner than later if they know they aren't cut out for the job. The longer someone unfit for hero work tries to be one, the greater the probability is that someone is going to end up seriously injured or dead because of them.

"There's no end to it all and it never lets up. There's no intermission for you to piece yourself back together. And everyone is going to have to tape themselves back together at some point with this job because it breaks a person." Aizawa said quietly through clenched teeth. He had his head in his hands and shook faintly as he tried to slow his quick, shallow breaths.

Reina and Mic leave to set up the movie and give the reader and Aizawa a bit more time alone. Reader tries to talk more about the articles and this accidentally set Aizawa off. The reader calls Aizawa by his first name for the first time trying to get his attention. He reveals how working as a pro has negatively affected him and how he's in desperate need for any kind of reprieve from all of the tragedy he's seen as a pro. Ends with Aizawa alluding to the idea that the job of being a Pro has broken him.

A/N: Nothing quite like almost giving yourself a panic attack lmao oops :|