Fire Whiskey in the Moonlight (Remus Lupin)

Chapter Twenty: What Does the New Year Hold?

I took a deep breath, basking in the musky smell of the man next to me. I felt so peaceful as Remus traced circles on the back of my hand with his thumb. The candles creating just enough light that we could see each other and the outlines of the other items in the room. I took another deep breath as I nuzzled my face closer to him.

"Now what?" The professor sighed lightly, his arms wrapping around me.

"Now we wait for the clock to strike Midnight and we ring in 1994 together."

"And after that?"

"We can talk about that in 1994, I just want to enjoy right now."

"Ok," he said as he kissed my forehead as I nuzzled in closer to him.

"Do you have a TV?" I asked, suddenly realizing that I hadn't seen one.

"No, why?"

"Because if we are staying in we at least have to watch Dick Clark's Rockin Eve."

"What's that?" His eyebrows furrowed.

"You're kidding right? It's just the biggest New Year's Eve celebration in the world! It's in Time Square? In New York City? Seriously its not ringing any bells?" I asked in disbelief.

"It's a muggle thing right?"

I rolled my eyes, "Yes it's a muggle thing."

He chuckled, "Why don't we get dressed and go down to the pub. I'm sure they will have it on down there."

I met his eyes, "Will you kiss me at midnight if we are at the pub?"

He answered me with deafening silence.

"Then I don't want to go."

"You don't want to spend New Year's Eve in this dingey old cabin."

"I want to spend it with you."

"We can hang out together at the pub."

"But you won't kiss me at midnight."

"Viv-"

"Maybe we should talk about what happens now." I said my eyes darting down.

"What happened to enjoying this moment?"

"I can't enjoy anything right now if this is going to be the last time I'm ever able to talk to you freely."

His arms wrapped tighter around me, "Who said this would be the last time we ever talked to each other?"

"You didn't have to say it. I don't want to just be friends, and you don't want to be anything more. So this is it."

He laughed sadly, "Vivian, I don't usually sleep with people whom I wish to only be friends with."

"Keyword being wish. That's all we are right? A wish that will never come true?"

"Why do you say that?" His voice had become harder.

"Because this was stupid of us, to pretend this was real life and we wouldn't be back at Hogwarts in a week. Even if we continued to see each other while we aren't at Hogwarts it would just make everything harder when we go back." I pulled myself away from him and out of bed, finding my jeans and yanking them on.

He sat and starred at me as I left his room to go and grab my shirt. I bit my lip to hold back a tear as I walked down the short hallway to the living room, searching the couch to find my shirt. I didn't bother to look up as I heard him walking towards me.

"Vivian,"

"What Remus?" I said, my back to him.

I felt him move closer, goosebumps covering my arms as his warm breath hit my neck. "I'm not losing you again. It doesn't matter that we aren't at Hogwarts right now, it doesn't change anything. I'm still your teacher, I knew that when I kissed you, I knew that the whole time. I didn't decide to do what we just did because you said 'We aren't at Hogwarts'. I did that because I see a future and a life with you outside of Hogwarts."

"But when I asked about the pub-"

He cut me off, "Vivian, I didn't say I would kiss you in the pub because for right now we have to keep this relationship a secret."

"Relationship?" I turned around to look at him.

"If you'll have me, that is." He smiled.

"Of course I will," I said leaning up to kiss him.

"After you graduate I'll take you to any pub you want and kiss you in front of everyone."

"Deal." I smiled, kissing him again.

"I love you Vivian."

"That is so weird to hear you say."

He laughed, "Do you want me to stop saying it?"

"No!" I snapped, "I like it, it's a good weird."

He smiled at me, "Finish getting dressed, I thought of a fun way we can ring in the New Year."

A few minutes later Remus and I had apparated to the top of Big Ben in London to watch the fireworks over the city, and when the giant clock struck midnight we greeted 1994 with a kiss.