DEVIL'S EMBRACE #₁ [COMPLETED]

ᑕᕼᗩᑭTEᖇ EᒪEᐯEᑎ

ᖴᒪᗩSᕼᗷᗩᑕK

I'm aware that my childhood wasn't perfect - it wasn't even near being that. I was criticized for every little mistake I made, although it didn't necessarily even had to be a mistake.

Basically, everything I did was wrong.

I was the reason my parents had lost their jobs when I was little and we had to move, I was the reason our dog had died, although he was really old.

Everything was my fault.

'But they can't punish a child,' you may say.

Well, they did. They would beat me and starve me just because I wasn't in bed by 8 - my favorite show was on TV and I had to stay a little longer and watch it.

But they were good parents, right? Everybody in town loved them because they went to church every Sunday and had adopted a baby girl. They covered up my bruises and cuts with makeup because I must never tell anyone, so where is the proof?

And they were good parents, right?

By the age of 13, I started to feel the consequences of their everyday abuse.

I started feeling nothing, I felt like I was nothing, and the best way to express myself was through art.

The art of self-harm.

Because the only thing they had taught me was how to hurt myself.

I have to admit, though, it was the best thing I could do.

✧

Carly was driving me home from school and I couldn't help but think - finally. I hated school because everyone is so obsessed with their status and don't let me get started with the bullying.

But also I thought, please, let this car ride last longer.

"Okay, so, do you want to come to my house later?" she asked when we drove off the parking lot.

"I doubt my parents will let me," I said apologetically. I know she hates being home alone, but they will kill me if I leave the house on a school day. That was one of the things I gave up arguing about, it's simply forbidden.

"Just tell them we're doing a school project," she said as she parked the car in front of my house. "Let's see, Biology! We're doing a project on extinct animals!"

I sighed and gave her a small smile. "Fine, I'll text you."

She squealed in excitement and hugged me. "Thank you, thank you!"

"See you later!" I got out of the car and closed the door behind me.

"Bye, Aly!" she waved me and drove off.

I didn't want to get inside the house, my parents had the day off, which wasn't a very good thing for me. It means they are in a mood to watch me do everything wrong and punish me for it.

So I stood there, looking at Carly's car distancing before I climbed over the fence to our backyard. My cowardly self was too scared to walk inside just yet, I had to collect the courage.

I sat on the grass and looked into the deep, dark forest, the one I was told to never go into. You know when you tell a little kid to never watch scary movies, but they watch it just because you've told them not to? That's how I felt with the forest - my parents have restricted me from going in it, but simply because of their words, I feel attracted by it.