LIAR | QUEEN AU

Chapter 31 - Another Hero, Another Mindless Crime

Dear Diary:

It's been a month since Freddie left Spies of Rhye. None of us know where he went off to. The last time I saw him he was up on the roof with Mary.

I miss him. I miss him a lot. I can't tell you how much I want him back. I want to hug him again. I want to give him all my care and attention. But he's gone now. And I'm worried it's because of me.

The last words I said to him before he left were filled with anger. It's just seeing him with Mary set something off in me. I thought he was done with her. Especially after what she did to Brian. She nearly killed him! And yet he trusted her? I just don't understand.

But I regret lashing out like that. I regret it so damn much. If I had given her a chance, maybe Freddie wouldn't be upset with me. Maybe he wouldn't have left SoR. God dammit, I didn't even get to say goodbye to him before he left. He just disappeared without a trace.

I've been putting off writing about his sudden disappearance. It just hurts thinking about it. I've nearly broken down in class many times. It's not the same without him. He's been my strongest ally, and for him not to be here anymore... it sucks. It f*cking sucks.

That's all I have to say. I have to go to school now. I don't think writing it out helped. I still miss him. F*ck, I miss him so much.

~ Signing off, J Deacon

I'm acting like he's dead. He's not. Or at least I hope he isn't... stop that! Freddie's tough. He won't go out without a fight. I'm sure whatever the reason was on why he left is completely logical. He's a good man. I should know. I'm his boyfriend.

Grabbing my backpack filled with endless piles of books and papers, I headed downstairs. Julie was sitting on the couch watching TV. She turned her head and smirked, "Quite slow today, aren't ya?"

"Yeah yeah," I responded, not in the mood to really talk. I haven't been in the mood for a while.

She frowned. As we walked out the door, she piped up once more, "You okay?"

"I'm fine."

"I know you're lying, John!" she interrogated, "You can tell me what's up. I'm the marvelous Julie after all!"

"Not now, Jules," I groaned. My patience for anything and everything wore thin, and right now I didn't want to talk about it with her.

Julie pouted, "Oh okay..." she quickly bounced back into her happy mood. Wish I could do that.

I gazed out the window, zoning out. It was tough knowing Freddie wouldn't be waiting for me on the campus. I had gotten so used to it in just the month he was there. And now it seems I can't get used to him not being there in the month he's been away. Very strange.

We arrived at school. As usual, Julie ran to her friend group and I sat down at one of the lunch benches waiting for Roger to arrive. I noticed that Rog and mine's popularity significantly dropped. I guess I was really only considered "popular" because of Veronica. And I think Roger got less popular because he chose to hang out with me more. He says he doesn't care. But I know how much he liked the fame. He says he's a changed man now and doesn't usually care about it anymore.

Have I mentioned that Miami doesn't work here anymore? He explained to us that he isn't needed at the school anymore, so he quit over Christmas break. So, the school rehired Mr. Reid. That bloke is no fun. But whatever. As long as I kept to myself and didn't get in trouble, I wouldn't have any problem.

I see Brian quite often too. Since Miami moved me back into the engineering department, I get to work with Bri a lot. He helps me with plenty things like my homework and the other SoR projects I have going on. Sometimes he tries to bring up Freddie. I think he knows that my moodiness is because of him leaving, and he wants to help. I'm thankful that he's so caring, but I'd prefer if he wouldn't do that. Reminding me of him only makes it worse.