LIAR | QUEEN AU

Chapter 42 - Guilt Stains On My Pillow

The dawn intrigues me. It's not quite night but neither morning. It's a strange gray area. It's ambiguous, vague. Much too dark to see the sun, yet too bright to gaze at the stars. It's just there. People's lives center around morning, afternoon, and the evening. Never dawn.

That makes it the perfect time for a spy. Dawn is the forgotten time that barely slips into the equation. As a spy, our goal is to slip in and stay unnoticed. I suppose that's why the dawn resonates with me. I've spent a good ordeal of time lurking around during the hours between midnight and dawn.

And now I've got one final mission at dawn here in Japan. If this goes well, then I'd be force to leave. Maybe I should mess up just a bit so I can spend more time here. Or, I could come back here on a vacation day. That would be lovely.

"Could you hurry a bit?" I leaned against the door. I needed to get to SoR Japan before sunrise to execute the mission, but Mary's taking quite a while to collect her belongings.

Leaning against the door wasn't a good idea. Mary, in her fit of agitation, so suddenly pulled the door open, causing me to fumble forward.

She rolled her eyes. "You klutz, let's go." Mary stormed out of the room and into the hallway.

I chased after her, not letting myself stray too far. I quickly fixed my posture attempting to look as poised as possible, "I'm not a klutz, deary, you know that. We wouldn't be alive here in Japan if I were."

Mary stopped dead in her tracks and glared up at me, "You let the blonde one get away with your watch. He has access to all of your contacts, information, and plans."

I forgot about that. Ah, that's a good point. Damn, not even my spooky, scary, austere voice and scowl would intimidate him into giving it back. Sometimes it's a hell of a lot of fun to play that character. I'd much rather not go around stabbing people. But you know, you've got to do what you've got to do to frighten someone sh*tless. They can't mess with you if they've let their fear control them.

"Darling, you've got nothing to worry about. I've encrypted everything that's on there. They won't figure out a thing."

"You sure?" she furrowed her eyebrows, picking up the pace.

I thought about it. I grimaced, "Almost everything."

"God dammit, Freddie."

"Hey! You can't blame me! I've got a lot on my plate. Those three give me a run for their money!"

"Freddie, the three of them can't do sh*t. That blonde one's temperamental and stupid, the tall one's a wimp, and..." she snapped her fingers repeatedly, "What was his name?"

"John. John Deacon."

She gawked before returning to her reprimands. What? I know names. "Yes, John. Well, Freddie, he's young. He doesn't know anything. He's naive. I don't understand how you just let him get away. You could crush him in an instant."

"Yeah? Well, lovely, I prefer not to 'crush' anyone in an instant."

We exited the building and started our bustle to Koshiyaga. Mary scoffed. I raised an eyebrow. She retorted, "You can't expect me to not laugh. You're an assassin, Freddie. Must I remind you? It's what you do literally every day of your life."

"So I'm not allowed to feel remorse?"

"No! If you felt remorse for everyone you've needed to... apprehend... then you wouldn't get anywhere. People die. And you've got to let them die. You're not obligated to mourn every person you leave dead."

"I mourn those who didn't need to die. The innocent ones not involved with the others trying to play God. The others who think they can just f*ck up the world we live in. The ones who are too powerful to even be alive."