LIAR | QUEEN AU

Chapter 58 - When I Look, And I Find I Still Love You

"Deaks?" Roger knocked on the door, stepping inside my little room stowed away in the corner of the lab.

"Hm?" I hummed, glancing over in his direction. My eyes quickly focused back on the contraption I was working on.

Rog now appeared by my side. He crouched down so that we were now eye level. He didn't have to crouch too much because he's already short enough.

"You've been in here all day long," he sighed. "C'mon! Take a breather. Go outside. It's not good to be working this much without any breaks to balance."

"You don't have to patronize me, Rog." I rolled my eyes, turning to face the blonde now. "I, I know that. I just--" I cut myself off. I shook the idea away.

"You just..?" He cocked an eyebrow.

"Never mind."

"Oh, I will mind, Deaky, you know that," Roger insisted. "I'm always here for you to talk to. I honestly don't mind. I've had to listen to Brian rant about f*cking stars for hours on end; you can't possibly do worse," he added with a chuckle.

I scoffed, assuring him that his joke was decent. "I appreciate the offer, but I'm fine in here. Miami wants me to finish this project by tomorrow night."

"Ah, bunch of bollocks, ol' chap!" Roger said. He jumped up from his spot and placed his hands on his hips. "You've worked your ass off enough. Besides, I'm just going to the rooftop. We'll be back in here in like, I don't know, ten minutes."

I thought about it for a moment. I suppose he's right. Maybe a break would be good. I don't really know what this device would be used for anyways.

"Fine," I acquiesced. "I'll follow you out there."

I've been getting back into my old, bad habit of drowning myself in work to avoid whatever issue I was dealing with at the time. The issue then was Freddie, and the issue now is still Freddie. He's been arrested, but I haven't figured out a way to deal with that yet. I haven't even figured out what's wrong, so of course I don't know how to deal with it. In the week we've been back at London, I've had time to adjust and gather my thoughts, but everything is still sort of hard to fully recover from.

Roger and Brian have been visiting and talking to Freddie a lot. They're trying to jog any part of his memory that he hasn't discovered yet. Plus, it must get lonely down in that cell. Serves him right. I'm pretty sure it hasn't been used, but Miami thought it to be best for him to reside there. He's got a soft spot for him, that's all.

As for me, I haven't bothered to go down and confront him. I've settled with staying up here in this lab. The other two have been badgering me constantly. They say it's best for me to at least try to get a few of my thoughts out. Brian says it's one step closer to forgiveness; the most courageous thing a person could accomplish. I know it's best for me to do that as well. It's just... I can't. I don't know. I'm not scared to face him. I've stopped fearing him a while ago. I'm, I don't know, I'm not ready.

I've been pushing the idea away since getting on that plane ride home. If you ask me why I'm not ready, I wouldn't be able to tell you. I should be ready. It's been a week. We already have him back. He's not "evil" anymore. He's Freddie again. I don't know what's wrong. God, what the f*ck is wrong with me?

Locking the door behind me, I dashed towards Roger down the hallway. He flashed a smile at me, seeming to be happy that I was joining him on his rooftop endeavors.

I quizzed, "Where's Bri?"

"Talkin' to Fred," he said so casually. Have things gone back to normal for them already? Roger entered his fingerprint, giving us an exit into the outer world. Sh*t! I haven't seen daylight in forever.