Chasing the Artist (Book Two)

NINETEEN

Jamie

The weather correctly illustrated my mood.

It was raining heavily and the sky was gray. That gloomy and dull feeling overpowering every other emotion I could muster.

Eve grabbed her last suitcase and stared at the floor.

"This is it." She said lowly.

I look towards her, trying to see if any remnants of her old self still existed but to no avail.

"I'm going to miss you." I say truthfully.

Eve looked up with an annoyed look.

"You have put me through so much Jamie, but that's all in the past. It's better this way." She said harshly.

You see her words would've stung if I was still in love with her but I wasn't.

So this all felt like a close friend moving away.

"No matter how much you hate me. I will always care for you."

Tears began to run down her face. She ran to where I sat and hugged me.

"I hate you." She said. "I hate you. I hate you. I hate you!"

My arms wrapped around her and I rubbed her back.

"I'm sorry."

Eve quickly removed herself from me and wiped her tears.

"Goodbye Jamie."

"Goodbye Eve."

And she was gone.

*****

"How can a grown man like you be in such a mess?"

My mother's words rang loudly in my ears as I stood with her in the kitchen as she washed dishes.

"And to think! I thought I raised you better?!" She continued.

"Ma, I didn't mean to cheat. It just happened." I horribly justified.

She stops washing the dishes and throws a rag at me.

"Don't even stand there and give me that stupid ass excuse. You're grown and you know better! Especially, knowing what I went through with your father."

Her words hurt. But she was right.

"Ma-"

"No don't Ma me. She better be worth it Jamie, because right now my image of her ain't so positive."

"She is worth it. What we have... It's that one in a lifetime kind of feeling. It's scarce. It's rare. It's-"

"I get it." My mom cuts off laughing. "But please Jamie, treat her better than you treated Eve."

She gave me a look and I nodded.

I knew what she meant.

*****

I couldn't escape it.

I couldn't ever escape it.

He died while choking on a piece of bread he fed to himself when Martha and John were off.

He didn't even die from the fucking cough that was making his life hell.

He died from choking!

Something that could've been prevented...

First Mrs. Wang.

And now my dad.

I couldn't escape it.

I was but a skeleton of a man the day of the funeral.

All his closest colleagues and his immediate family were present.

Mrs. Morris at first didn't want my mother and I to attend.

She argued that we didn't know him enough.

But dad had wrote a letter weeks before his final day of everyone who he wants to attend.

My mother's name being first, and mine right after.

He wrote my mother a letter too. I don't know what it said.

All I know is that when Ma read it, she cried for three days straight.

He wrote everyone a letter in fact.

I'm not gonna lie, I'm curious. I still haven't read mine because I fear I would cry as long as my mom did.

We sat in the front seats.

Jordan, Jessica, Mrs. Morris, Kyla, Ma, and me.

All our eyes glued on the preacher that stood above my father who laid still and lifeless in the coffin.

Jordan had just finished his speech.

Filled with years of baseball games, family game nights, and all out love that dad gave him.

And I knew that it was inappropriate but I was jealous.

Oh what could've been.

It was my turn.

I couldn't even feel my legs as I walked up to the stage to tell my story of my father.

When I stood at the mic looking out at all that interacted with dad, I could see him at the back church's door smiling at me. He looked young and happy and I cried.

"My dad wasn't in my life for long. I remembered that I longed for days that Jordan described earlier with him. I always thought to myself that I wasn't enough. That Ma wasn't enough. But these past few months I had to spend time with him proved me otherwise. I got to see my father in a new light. Some would say that his love for me was never genuine and he was only so kind because he knew he was going to die. But the way that he looked at me at that dinner. I knew that I was enough. And he made sure I knew that for the rest of his days. The countless nights we would talk on the phone as if there was no barricade between us. I appreciated it. I appreciated him greatly. I'm not going to stand here and say that my father was a good father or a good man. But what I will say is that he tried. And it's the thought that counts, even if it's a little too late for it."

I could hear the applause but it felt like it was a galaxy away. My stare returned to the church's doors and he was gone.

My father was gone.

I was about to sit back next to Ma when someone grabbed my arm. I turned around and faced a red eyed Jordan.

He elegantly placed a hand out.

"For dad." He said while a tear ran down his cheek.

"For dad." I say as I shook his hand.

I'm pretty sure I looked the same as he.

Man who put these onions here 😭😭

Also I wrote this in APUSH 😂

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-aesthetiicchild❤