Love Me Back // Elmax Fanfiction

Chapter 13 ~ I Don't Know

Max
El and I had planned to have a sleepover that night. I know, it sounds super creepy, but we just want to get things sorted out. I'd also like to work on getting back to normal. Or, as normal as I can be, having a crush on a girl with telekinesis.
     Eleven was waiting on my porch. I was packing everything up as fast as possible, not wanting to keep her waiting too long. I hadn't wanted her to come in and have to see my dad on the couch. She still didn't know about the stuff he did. I especially didn't want him to talk to her. After I threw together my bag(and later realized that I forgot a toothbrush), I raced down my stairs, skipping the last two with an easy jump.
I tried to act composed as I walked to the door and opened it, revealing the most beautiful girl I'd ever laid eyes upon. I smiled goofily at her, and she flashed me a pretty smile back. I longed to take her hand, but for all I knew she could still be playing a dirty trick on me, and I didn't want to look completely pathetic if that turned out to be so. That thought caused my smile to drop. We walked along in silence, me trying my best to not look down at her hand or grab it.
After maybe a 10 minute walk of almost comfortable silence, we arrived at El's place. Without a single exchange, we walked into her room and sat on her bed. I could feel El's eyes looking at me, maybe waiting for me to say something. I acted as if I didn't realize it, keeping my eyes down and fumbling with my hands. After a few more seconds of silence, I unexpectedly blurted, "You don't really like me, do you?" The words stung my throat, and I felt tears begin to well up in my eyes.
"Why would I pretend to like you?" The brunette questioned me, as if she didn't know. I sighed.
"You and the boys are just trying to hurt me because I'm gay. I know it."
"Maxie, I would never hurt you." Her voice breaks off, paining my chest. I look at her suddenly, and our eyes meet. Her dark eyes are glossy, filled to the brim with tears. She didn't look like she was lying. Is there any way that Eleven Jane Hopper could actually like me? I still wasn't fully convinced. I zone back in and look her in the eyes. They look like a dam's about to break and flood her cheeks with tears. Some sort of will to protect myself from this potential threat must have broken, because instead of protesting further, I pull her into my arms and hold her as if a hurricane is swirling around us.
It didn't take any more convincing on her part.
Maybe I'm weak and she really is faking all of this, but it's not like I was planning on living today anyway. I felt my eyes sting at my thoughts, but I didn't dare let them fall. This was about El.
Sobs wracked her body. I held her as tight as I could without hurting her, rocking her slightly. I held her head close in the crook of my neck, which caused butterflies to cascade in my stomach and chest. I mentally slapped myself at how I could think of the things I was thinking of when Eleven was literally bawling in my arms.
Like the idiot I am, I lightly kissed the top of her head, somehow convincing myself that she didn't feel it. I tried to cover it up by comfortingly rubbing her back, but I continued to mentally beat myself up about it for then next five minutes.
"El, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." I trailed off, afraid to continue. Quickly feeling bad, I said, "To accuse you of not caring about me. It's just that I... I've been such a jerk to you for months and I don't see why you wouldn't hate me, so I can't even comprehend the fact that you, Eleven Jane Hopper, actually like me back, like like me like me," I managed to stop myself. Jesus, this girl made me nervous. I was so tough, and she came along and broke me. "I mean... I just don't want to get hurt any more," I added without planning to.
"It's ok," El managed to let out. She had somehow found her way onto my lap. I rubbed her back again, trying to communicate that it was okay and I understood her. I think I was actually helping, because after a couple minutes she calmed down.
Who knew I could do anything right?
Even when she was calm, she stayed in my arms. Not wanting to completely destroy my slim chances with her(and because, admittedly I liked it), I didn't take my arms off of her. I stroked her back slowly, enjoying every bit of it, and El nuzzled her face deeper into my neck.
I nearly squealed.
She's so adorable I literally can't stand it. I smiled so wide that it made my cheeks hurt, but I could care less.
As if she were suddenly in a frenzy, El stiffened and got off of my lap. Dammit, I thought sadly. I missed her warmth, and longed for her to come back into my arms.
"So, um, now what..?" I asked, looking into El's deep brown eyes.
"I, uh, I don't know," The brunette replied.
It was silent for a few long seconds until I thought out loud, "Do you still like Mike?"
"I... I don't know." Does she know anything? I thought. I instantly regretted thinking something so mean, though, and dug my nails into my palms to punish myself.
"So... what do you want? With me..?" I did my best to keep my eyes dry. I was usually horrible at it, but somehow I managed to do it this time.
El sat on the edge of her bed, staring off into space for a few long moments, pondering, until she said, "I-I'm afraid." For a split second I wondered what there was to be afraid of, but quickly thought, right. Society.
"M-Me too. Really.. afraid. But I-I don't know if... if I-"
"Me either," The brunette expressed solemnly, looking down at her hands. I didn't question whether or not we were on the same page. Somehow, I just knew that we were.
An urge inside me too strong to ignore made me reach out for Eleven's hand. She looked towards it, into my eyes, back to my hand, and gently took it. Even her grip felt skeptical. I gave her hand a small squeeze, my lips curving upwards in the tiniest bit. She was literally more adorable then my brain could handle.
     She began to rub her thumb along my hand, and my heart melted at the affection. It gave me the chills. I wondered if I could even handle the feeling of kissing her.

^OML GUYS WHAT IS THIS?!?! THANK YOU SOOO MUCH WOW!!

Thanks for sticking with me through another chapter! Lucky for you guys(and for me because they're adorable to write about), Elmax is really going to take off here soon enough! Love you guys!

Word Count: 1236

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