Love Me Back // Elmax Fanfiction

Chapter 34 ~ And Nothing Else Mattered

TRIGGER WARNING: MENTION OF R*PE AND SELF HARM

I approached the Byers' house, trying not to cry as I stepped off my skateboard. Hands trembling with a mixture of excitement and fear, I reached into my backpack and grabbed my walkie. Although it was slightly difficult with my stupid shaky hands, I finally managed to switch to Eleven's channel.
I stood, just staring at the walkie, for a while. What if she rejects me? What if she's mad at me? What if she doesn't love me anymore? What if she brushes me off? Maybe I shouldn't do this.
No. I had to do this. I just had to. I owed it to her, even if she didn't care anymore.
I took in a sharp breath of air, hesitating for only a moment before pressing and holding down the side button. "Hey El, this is Max. Come out to the front. Over," I said coolly, as if my heart wasn't beating at a million miles a minute, when really my palms were sweating, my knees were weak, and my arms were heavy-
"Max, what the hell? Is that really you? Max, what's going on? What're you-"
"Don't worry about it, El. Just come outside. Please," I let out, slightly desperate. I was dying over here. "Over," I quickly added, having momentarily forgotten to say it.
After a few moments, I still hadn't gotten a response. I started to panic and threw my radio into my backpack, zipping it up and getting ready to skate off.
And then, just like that—
There she was.
She stood on the porch, her jaw hanging open slightly. I was standing in her driveway and couldn't precisely make out her facial expression, but obviously there was shock. She brought her hands up to her mouth and covered it; I couldn't tell if she was mad or crying. "Max!" She exclaimed, her tears now obvious in her voice.
She sprinted towards me, her arms open for a hug. I felt the hot, joyful tears well up in my eyes and poor down my cheeks in an instant, and I held out my arms as well.
She barreled into me as our lips met.
I stumbled back a few steps, as her legs were wrapped around my waist. My heart exploded like dynamite in my chest, sending sparks throughout my body, but I didn't hesitate for a second to kiss her back. My arms were wrapped around her waist, holding her up. She wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me closer and deepening the kiss. Our lips moved in perfect sync, fitting together like two pieces of a puzzle. A fire burned in my chest, almost painfully, yet it was the best feeling I'd ever had. A warmth thick like honey moved throughout my body, overwhelming me completely. El's hands felt through my hair, sending chills down my spine.
I couldn't get enough. It was like I'd been starving all this time; like I'd been completely deprived of food for years and years, and now that I had it, I didn't want to let go.
Eventually, though, we both pulled away, out of breath. I let out a light, airy laugh, full of bliss. I was looking right into El's eyes; they were glistened with tears, and her cheeks were very clearly stained. I could easily tell she'd been crying before I got here; her eyes were blood-shot and dark bags underlined them.
She was still just as beautiful.
Since she was holding herself up with her arms around my neck, I moved my hands from her waist and set them on her cheeks. After wiping her tears with my thumbs, I caressed her face ever so gently, allowing my fingers to memorize the feeling and shape of her jawline. I watched as she shuddered with a chill and smiled lightly. I absolutely hated to see her so broken, yes, but she was still so effortlessly beautiful. It was shocking to me.
I wiped away a few more incoming tears and, still delicately holding her face in my hands, leaned in to softly kiss her lips. Unlike the one before, this was short, but still filled with just as much euphoria. I could stand here all day and kiss her.
I continued to feel her jawline with my fingers, looking down at it admiringly. My eyes managed to find their way back up to hers, and a quick glance told me that she needed a hug. Her legs still wrapped tightly around my waist, I wrapped my arms around her neck and pulled her to my chest. Her arms moved from my neck to my waist as she melted into me, her head tucked nicely under my chin. She let out a small, choked-out sob that racked her body. Pulling her closer to my body, I stroked the back of her neck and allowed my hand to go up into her hair, my other firmly placed on her back. I had tears running down my face as well, but I wasn't nearly as shaken up as she was. Despite having held her for quite a few minutes now, she was so light that I wasn't growing tired in the least. She'd always been light, but I could tell she'd lost weight.
It broke my heart.
"I'm sorry," I let out, my voice cracking as I tried to hold in the cries that were caged in my throat. My apology only drove her to letting out a loud sob, trying to be as condense and close to me as possible, gripping onto the back of my shirt. I didn't think it was because of what I'd said, exactly. I think that no matter what I'd said, her reaction would have been the same.
Because she was broken. Had I really caused all of this? Oh god.
Hot tears stung my eyes once again, even though my tears hadn't ever ceased.
I decided that we should probably get inside, so I carried El, still clutching her to my chest, in through the front door. I closed it with my foot and squatted, reaching out quickly to lock it. Just as fast as my hand pulled away from her neck, it was back. This, though, didn't stop her from clutching onto the back of my shirt again, like if she didn't I'd slip between her fingers and be gone again. Once my hand was back on her neck, and she let out a breath that she must have been holding for that brief second. I rubbed her back as if to say, "don't worry, I'm not going anywhere."
I brought her to the kitchen and went to set her down on the counter, but she didn't let go of me. "El, baby, I promise I'm not going to ever leave you again. I'll-"
"That's what you said last time, and look what happened," she choked out. I rubbed her back soothingly, frowning as another massive load of tears spilled from my eyes.
"I know, El, I know. I'm so so sorry. But, Ellie, I promise, what happened then won't ever happen again. Neil's in jail now. He can't-" I cut myself off as my voice broke. "He can't hurt me anymore."
"N-Neil hurt you?" El pulled away, looking directly at me. Wait, she doesn't know?
Fuck Susan.
Her eyes remained broken, but now they were angry, too. "E-El... do you know about.. rape?" I choked back the tears. This was going to be difficult.
"R-Rape?" She echoed innocently, although I could tell she knew that whatever it was, it was especially awful.
"R-A-P-E," I spelled it out for her like I did with other words. "Neil, he-he—" I turned away as a sob escaped my lips. El was quick to move her hands to my face, gently forcing me to look at her. She caressed my face comfortingly, gently urging me to continue. I attempted to swallow the lump in the back of my throat before saying, "It's when someone, um, makes you do something.. w-when y-you don't wanna... and it's, um, sexual," I whispered the last but and turned away, ashamed. Now it was Eleven's turn to wrap her arms around my neck, holding me tightly.
"I'll kill him," El muttered, probably not realizing that I'd been able to hear her. I let out a tearful laugh, pulling away from the comfort of my crush and looking back into her eyes. "I'm not lying, I will."
"I love you so much," I let out airily, giggling, and smiling through blurry eyes. Eleven reached up and gently wiped my tears. Her eyes were watery too, but she didn't let her tears trickle down her cheeks like mine did.
     After completely ridding my face of tears, El cracked a huge smile. "I love you too, Freckles." With that, I leaned in once again, our lips touching lightly. It was a soft kiss that sent a slower, more calming heat through my veins, although the fireworks in my chest still ensued. It was almost more overwhelming then the first kiss. It felt as if I were wrapped in a heavy blanket. It conquered my body. We broke the kiss and I pulled her in for another hug, whispering another "sorry" in her ear. I could tell my breath on her neck had tickled her, but I was too in the moment to laugh about it right now. Guess I'd just have to add that to the book of tricks and refer to it later.
Eleven shook her head against the crook of my neck and mumbled, "Don't be."
I smiled into a once again blurry world, although now it felt less like I couldn't see where I was going and more like I didn't need to see. Because everything I needed was right here.
And nothing else mattered.

I swear I must've been drunk when I wrote this chapter a while back, because it was SO horrible, oh my god. Thank the lord I'm an editing freak 🙏🙏

I'm not even gonna say "I hope you liked that chapter," because I'm pretty sure you all liked it.

Until next week, people. Love ya 🙏

word count: 1707

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