Love Me Back // Elmax Fanfiction

Chapter 25 ~ Something I Couldn't Guarantee

TRIGGER WARNING: VERBAL ABUSE

     Finally, it was Friday. Joyce had insisted on driving El to school today, so I was walking alone. I'd decided to walk in case she could come with me on the way home. I didn't mind going alone, but then again, I'd much rather walk with El. Or run with El. I didn't really care how we get there, I just knew that I wanted to be with El.
     All. The. Time.
     We still weren't officially "dating," but even if we were, it's not like we could really show affection to each other in public anyway.
     El and I hadn't hung out with the boys all week, which I sort of missed, but again, if I got to be with El, then screw them. Things were still weird with Lucas, anyway, and obviously Mike, too.
     Sometimes, I think, thank god I'm gay. Imagine having to date men, but then again I know it'd be a lot easier if I didn't have a crush on my best friend. And it wasn't, you know, completely tabooed to be gay.
     I arrived at school, walking into the hallway and to my locker. I opened it up and began putting away the heavy textbooks that I wouldn't need until after lunch when someone came up behind me and wrapped their arms around my neck. Just as I was about to taekwondo the hell out of whoever it could be when I heard a familiar, child-like giggle sound from the culprit. "Hi Maxie."
     "El, holy shit! Scared the crap outta me, I was about to smash you onto the floor!" I exclaimed, trying to play it off as funny. My heart was pounding. Not that I wanted her to get off of me, but the fact that I could have hurt her really scared me. Even if she had been fine, I would never forgive myself, yet my cheeks were still burning at her greeting. Hi Maxie.
"Sorry, you just looked too cute! Somebody had to do something," El teased, causing a warm blush to take over my face.
"Me? Cute? Neverrr," I said sarcastically, although I didn't entirely believe her, either. When I realized that El's arms were snaked around my neck, her legs were wrapped around my waist, and my hands were on her thighs, holding her up, my breath hitched.
Hi Maxie. I could still feel her warm breath on my neck.
It felt as if my organs were rearranging themselves. It kinda hurt, but it was a good hurt. "So..."
"I'm not getting off you," El insisted.
I giggled, "El, I can't put my back-"
"I'll wear it," she rushed, her tone flat, cutting me off. I giggled again, a little louder, and squatted slowly, trying to keep the brunette steady. I grabbed my backpack with one hand, the other hand still firmly on El's thigh, tightening my grip a bit. The last thing I wanted was to drop her. I slowly handed my backpack up, and she grabbed it.
"How're you gonna wear it when you have your own backpack?" I asked, confused. I began to walk us to our first class.
"I have my ways," she smirked.
"Weirdo," I muttered, loudly enough for her to hear.
"Hey, I'm the one on your head. Lots of things could go wrong," El threatened. It sounded like she was trying to contain a giggle, which caused me to laugh.
"You're on my back. I could dump you off at any moment," I shot back, now trying to hold back my smile.
"Fair, but you love me too much," my crush pointed out.
"Curse you," I said, trying to hold back my giggles as a crimson blush flushing my face.
Hi Maxie.

After School
fair warning: homophobic slurs
El had convinced Joyce to let her come over, which she'd never really done before. I hadn't ever wanted El to come over, because I didn't want her to meet Neil, but she'd insisted on it.
We were currently walking along on the sidewalk, our hands locked together. El was swinging them high, causing me to smile.
Once we arrived to my house, I was delighted to find that Neil wasn't home. I prayed that he'd stay out all night. He was probably at the bar hooking up with some random lady, because he was usually home by now and he'd been caught doing that kind of thing before. I almost, just almost felt bad for my mom. Except I didn't, because she's the one who got us into this and has yet to get us out. She knew what kinds of things Neil did and she ignored it all. And for what?
I led the brunette to my room, giving her a "tour" of it. It wasn't big, so it wasn't like she needed one, but it just felt like the normal thing to do, I guess. "Whatcha wanna do?" I asked her. She just shrugged, looking at the things on my dresser. After a bit of silence, she turned around, holding something to her chest and smiling. At least I have an excuse to look there, I thought, quickly dismissing it. "What?" I was confused. She held up a picture of her and I from that first day at the mall and I grinned. "Yeah," I trailed off, feeling a bit nervous.
"You still have this picture of us?"
"Yeah, I, I mean-" interrupting me, Eleven wrapped me in a hug.
"That's so sweet," she mumbled into my shoulder, rocking us on our feet. My crush pulled away, kissed the picture, and carefully set it down right where it had previously sat. I blushed, smiling like an idiot. "Can we listen to music?" El changed the subject.
"Sure," I nodded, walking over the to the record player. I put some random record on it and turned it on, turning the volume way up. El and I danced and sang out hearts out, laughing. I was smiling so much that my mouth hurt.
     We were having the times of our lives, completely tired but still going, when I heard the door slam open with a bang. How does a door slam open, you may wonder? Trust me. I don't know either, but it's possible.
El and I froze. I could see the fear flash in her eyes, and I was sure she could see it in mine, too. I wish that I wasn't afraid of Neil anymore, but I was. I was terrified. My heart raced in my chest as I walked up to El. "Hey, everything's going to be alright, ok? I'm just going to take you downstairs and-"
"Why do I have to go downstairs?"
"Because I'd get into even more trouble if we snuck out," I sighed. Just then, I realized that the music was still blasting. "Fuck!" I whisper-shouted, dashing to the record player to turn it off completely. Now, we could very clearly hear the sound of Neil shuffling around downstairs. A loud shattering sound echoed through the otherwise silent house, and my breath hitched. It was the all too familiar sound of a bottle breaking. Fuck. I'm in trouble. "Ok. We're gonna go. Everything's going to be alright, ok? I'll bring you downstairs and you can go home."
"What about you?" El asked, her eyes glossy with tears. I set my hands on her cheeks, smiling weakly.
"Ellie, as much as I wish I could, I can't come with you. But I'll be ok. I always am. Got it?" My words shook a little as I spoke, tears now threatening to spill out of my eyes as well. I knew this reminded her a lot of Papa, that sicko from the lab. She hadn't gone into detail, but in the few times El had opened up about it, she'd completely bawled. Aside from the completely fucked up things he did, it seemed like he'd also don't little things like this— get really angry, yell, and basically just scare the shit out of everyone. The brunette pulled me into another hug, holding me tightly. I held her just as firmly before bringing my arms down to my sides. She followed my lead, and I took her hand as we ventured down the stairs. Neil was pacing the kitchen, most likely waiting for me to come down.
"WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THE MUS-" he paused, noticing Eleven.
"Hey Ne- uh, dad, this is my friend, El," I motioned towards her. She didn't wave or say anything.
"You fucking faggot, LET GO OF HER HAND," he shouted. I obeyed at once, glancing at El only to see more fear fill her eyes.
I felt like crying.
"DON'T LOOK AT HER, YOU STUPID DYKE. GET HER OUT OF MY HOUSE SO I CAN TEACH YOU A FUCKING LESSON," he slurred, marching up threateningly close and holding the bottle near our heads. I couldn't tell if he was threatening me or her; probably both.
"Y-Yessir," I said, quickly leading Eleven away. I hurried her to the side of my house, where I knew Neil couldn't see us. I took her face in my hands once more, tears streaming steadily down her cheeks. My voice shaking, I started, "I'm so sorry El, this was a horrible idea. Look, I'm going to be ok, alright? Everything's gonna be fine. Even if he does hit me with that bottle, everything's going to be ok, understand?" I was speaking a bit forcefully, as I wanted the message to get to her; I didn't want her to worry about me. I wiped her tears. "It'll all be ok."
She nodded and began to walk away. Just as I was about to go back into the house, she turned and slammed into me. I wrapped my arms around her tightly, her following suit and grasping at my shirt. "It's gonna be ok, El. I'm gonna be ok." I didn't dare let my voice waver. I didn't dare let a tear fall. I had to be strong. For myself, and for El. "I love you so much," I said as we pulled away from each other, my hands comfortingly rubbing her arms.
I took her hands in mine as she spoke. "I love you too," her whispering voiced cracked and I smiled as genuinely as possible at her, rubbing her hands with my thumbs.
"I'm gonna be ok," I repeated once again. I was about to add "I promise," but I didn't want to promise something I couldn't guarantee.

Hey guys. I know, I'm really sorry, but it doesn't get much better from here to say the least. Sorry. I'm cruel but I love ya. I really do, I promise.

word count: 1828

~eight