Love Me Back // Elmax Fanfiction

Chapter 2 ~ Why Do You Care?

Max
     I believe that it's confirmed. I like Eleven.
     I mean, what I mean is I like her in that way. I like her how I should like Lucas.

Later that day
The entire Party is at Mike's. His place is pretty much the central hangout, because he has a huge basement all to himself and his parents don't bother us much.
I've realized that the awful feeling I get deep in my chest anytime Mike does literally anything to El is jealousy. Pure jealousy. It's almost similar to the feeling I get from El's touch. They both hurt. But El's touch hurts in a good way. It makes my chest ache with longing, and it feels good. I want more of it. The jealousy makes me upset and in an honestly irritable mood.
"Max," El said, sounding slightly concerned. I snapped out of my thoughts.
"Um, yeah?"
"Cmon, let's go sit on the couch," she said gently. It was almost as if she knew that I was hurting. But she couldn't, could she? I nodded my head wordlessly, too afraid to speak, and walked over to the couch, El trailing behind me. We sat down, and I stared into those beautiful, chocolate brown eyes. I probably had an awfully sad look on my face, because El's face softened. If she weren't so pretty and kind, then this would be a whole lot easier, I thought. "Are you alright?" El asked, calm yet concerned all at the same time.
Her words hit me like a boulder. Was I alright? No, I wasn't, not at all. But I wasn't planning on letting her know that. Afraid that if I spoke I might break apart, I nodded, faltering and breaking eye contact for only a second.
Of course, El seemed to notice. How could she figure me out so easily? And why did she even care, anyways? I was suddenly hit with a pang of anger. "Why do you even care?" I coldly repeated my thoughts. I felt a strong remorse, but I kept my maddened look on, because it was all I could do to protect myself, and I was still a little angry.
     El looked hurt. Her eyes shone with it. Suddenly feeling awful, I looked at down at the carpet, not wanting Eleven to see the tears arising in my eyes. All I wanted to say was sorry, but I knew that if I even tried I would just fall apart. Suddenly, I felt El's warm touch under my chin. Butterflies erupted in my chest, and it felt as if they wanted to break free.  El gently lifted my face, and I let her. I didn't want to hurt her more by turning away.
My eyes met hers. El instantly noticed my tears. I turned my head away then, unable to control the urge. I couldn't let her in. I couldn't let her see me. I thought that she was going to get mad, or maybe she would start crying, but what she did, I would never have expected.
She wrapped me up in a warm hug, holding me tight.
I felt safe.
Suddenly, the tears were streaming down my face, and I was shaking with fear. She just held me, slightly rocking from side to side. I was quite a bit taller than she was, but sitting on the couch the difference wasn't so much, so right now my head was tucked in the crook of her neck. She pet my hair, trying to sooth me.
It only made the tears come in larger amounts.
"It's ok," she whispered. At her words, I let out a quiet sob, and she only held onto me tighter. I was afraid, but I knew that if I pulled away I would beat myself up about it later. And it would really hurt El. That was the last thing I wanted to do.
My arms were tightly wrapped around her. I held on tighter and tighter, not wanting to ever let go. El let me. She didn't squirm one bit.
I cried into her until a was calm, and as if she could sense it, she let me go.
Naturally, I didn't make eye contact in the slightest. I didn't even try to.
She put her hand back under my chin, and lifted my face. When I looked into her eyes, I could see that they were red, probably almost as red as mine were. Had she been crying? Why would she cry? Over me? I wanted to ask all of those things, but I still felt as if I could break at the slightest touch. So I kept my mouth shut. She looked into my eyes, and I looked into hers. I used all the will I had to not look down to her lips— I found myself looking there anyway. El kept her eyes on my eyes, though. She seemed to watch with curiosity. I wanted so badly to kiss her. God dammit.
El's hand moved to my cheek. My heartbeat quickened. Shit, shit, shit. Is she gonna kiss me?? El looked into my eyes for a moment longer before speaking. "What's wrong, Maxie?" Oh. Of course she isn't going to kiss me. God, I'm such an idiot. I didn't know how to respond.
"I... I don't know—"
"Max, friends don't lie," El firmly cut me off, "What's wrong?" She repeated, more empathetically. She was still looking me in the eyes, and her hand still rest on my cheek.
I decided I needed her to not touch me. Everything she does just makes me fall deeper and deeper and deeper, and I just need to stop liking her like that because I'm just going to ruin things and—
"Maxie..." El interrupted my thoughts. God, I loved that nickname. It made my heart do backflips, or something. She looked pained. Why did she care so much?
"You didn't answer my question," I said quietly.
"What?" She questioned, confused and seemingly more concerned.
"You didn't answer my question," I repeated, louder this time. "W-Why do you care...?" That was all I could get out, because my voice broke. I felt my eyes sting, but I did my best to push away the stupid tears and the stupid feelings. El's expression didn't change much. She had looked pained before, and this luckily didn't seem to pain her much more.
"You're my best friend," Eleven breathed, "I-I want you to be ok." Friend. She's your friend. And that is all she will ever be. "Now it's your turn to answer my question. What's wrong?" I nearly fell into her deep, chocolate eyes, but somehow managed to catch myself. How had she not broken the eye contact once?
"I, um, I-I can't tell you.." I managed to squeak out, my voice shaking. Look at what this girl had done to me. And now I was letting her see me cry. What is actually wrong with me?
"Max, you can tell me anything, I-"
"No, I can't, Eleven. You don't understand," I said, regretting every word. I stood up off the couch. "I'm going home." I grabbed my board and tucked it under my arm. I only saw a glimpse of El's face, but I'm almost positive I saw tears in her eyes.

Thanks for reading my second chapter! I hope you guys like it!

Word count: 1243

~eight