The Struggles of K-pop

I've Found It!

I have found it! The one thing we have all been looking for. This is truly the worst English in a K-Pop song! I have always wondered, what is the worst translation of English or worse mispronouncing in English for a K-Pop song. But I've found it today literally 5 minutes ago on YouTube. I hades no idea where I found it because my original search was MBLAQ, but I've gotten here!

The song is called Intoxication by Xiah Junsu, who is from JYJ.

Look, the only thing I know about TVXQ/ JYJ is about the problems with SM and with Sasaengs. I have not heard any of JYJ's songs, I really should though sometime, but not right now.

Like really, I have no idea about these guys. I don't even know why I clicked on this, but oh well, I found it, I'm going to talk about it.

Can we just look at some of these lyrics? That are in English. The pronunciation isn't to horrid, no, it's the actual lyrics is where it gets interesting.

"Squeeze you baby let me feel your naughtiness."

I'm not making this up. What exactly is " your naughtiness"?

Oh.

OH.

ITS THAT KIND OF SONG, OK.

"Stroke you like an arpeggio."

A man will never have me as girlfriend if they don't use this pick up line.

" Hey girl, will you marry me? I'll stroke you like an arpeggio." ;)

YES, TAKE ME RANDOM MAN! YOU HAVE PROVEN YOURSELF WORTHY FOR MY HAND IN MARRIAGE!!

" I now pronounce you husband and wife."

" Woohoo, now let me stroke you like an arpeggio," my random husband purrs.

IM SO SORRY I DONT EVEN KNOW ANYMORE.

"Tell me what you want hey."

I just said I want a man to just come up to me on the street and say that pick up line while doing pelvic thrusts, don't you listen to anything I say?!

" Tell Me do you want me oh no."

Well if you stroke me like an arpeggio then yes, yes I do.

" Kiss and touch me, taste and touch me."

I'd make a joke here but I think that phrase speaks for itself.

" Make it love bite and touch me kill and touch me baby."

"Mommy, what do those lyrics mean?"

" Oh God, now I have to have the talk with her. Well, sweetie, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much..."

And imagine the rest of that conversation in your minds. I'm sure all of you are thinking of an innocent conversation between mother and daughter.

And these aren't even the translated lyrics. Nope, %100 English. You don't wanna know the Korean lyrics.

Also, can we just talk about the dance in this song? Just...I want to meet that choreographer. For behold, I have never seen such a dirty and intimidate pelvic thrust in all my years of living. Just...how does he do it?

You know, this probably would of been more acceptable if the company made this song. But um...he wrote these lyrics. Just um...why? Who the fuck strokes someone like an arpeggio? I thought it was some kind of exotic fruit until I googled it and saw it's actually when you play a broken chord on a guitar.

He's a very good singer and dancer. He has confidence and can sing and dance live. I actually like the composition.

Oh My God that's the song! That Simon and Martina/Eat Your Kimchi use whenever they something dirty or something like that! I have always wondered what song that was from! I have found it!

Anyways, after that discovery, I like the composition, but the lyrics...I'm sorry, but they are awful. Particularly the English ones. It's not making an actual sentence, like " Make it love bite and touch me." I think I know what he's trying to say, but I'm not %100 sure.

Comment what you think is the worst kpop English. Maybe

" Mazic, Mazic! Mazic Mazic!"

" Careless, Careless, shoot a naughty moose, a naught moose."

" I wanna Goshap Girl."

" You shart right through my heart."

And many, many, MANY, more.