j* Movie Reviews 2019

Breakfast Club (1985)

Dear lordy the 80s were different from the 90s, weren't they?

So as we continue our broader exploration of generational weirding and we all continue to confess more unseen classics, by popular demand I gave this a shot. And I feel I was promised so much more "cultural impact." I have seen (old) films in the past and been gobsmacked by how many quotes so many of them seem to have originated, or how they have clearly inspired films that follow. This... well this actually came up pretty empty for me. The only "woh" moment was when Judd Nelson sniped "eat my shorts" and I realised this pre-dated The Simpsons rampancy of the phrase.

It was suggested Molly Ringwald's character Claire was the "Crown Princess of Generation X" and if this is true it sums up so many of the differences between the 80s and 90s. I do not have the kind of soul that can be impressed by this rich, airheaded brat played straight. This is the character stereotype that 90s teen movies, near without exception, lampoons. Unless she's made totally sent-up ironic, like Cher in Clueless (1995), or deliciously evil like Courtney in Jawbreaker (1999) I am not going to get onboard.

And a conclusion that sees "a makeover" as a legitimate answer? What stale hell is this? A makeover, surely, must only ever be a detour to "the dark side" before returning to your true self and getting on with your true life. Oh the 80s, where a bit of lippy and a hairbow from the prom queen could cure all your problems. Things really seem like they were a bit farcical back then. Or maybe optimistic. I don't know.

The character I most enjoyed was grungy John (Judd Nelson), followed closely by goth-chick Allison (Ally Sheedy). These two at least seemed to have some kind of spunk and life-force I could understand. I mean sure, I could dig the "we're all human" undercurrents from the prom queen, the nerd and the jock, but not for a second do I believe they stayed friends based on what I saw here. Shoutouts for casting buff twenty-somethings to play high school boys, that never goes out of fashion.

Plotwise, nothing happens. They just sit around talking during a poorly supervised Saturday detention. It's basically group therapy. I have complete sympathy for the teacher drinking in the storeroom with the cleaner - I mean what a crap gig.

I'm trying to think what the closest 90s teen films are to this, and I guess it has to be Clueless and Ten Things I Hate About You (1999)? Unless it's American Pie (1999)? But more suggestions welcome from 90s aficionados who also get Breakfast Club.

If you google search 80s teen movies and compare to 90s teen movies, you'll see even from the poster thumbnails the tone shifted a lot. It kinda looks like the 90s decided Heathers (1988) was onto something and ran with "high school as a dangerous, life-threatening and possibly occult world" vibe.

I'm always annoyed by a film that refuses to provide in-film answers to its own title.

J* gives it 2 stars.

PS. Classic 90s teen movies?

For me I like them dark, but then I feel they're mostly dark.

Millennium was ending, y'all.

Saddle up for:

The Craft

Jawbreaker

Cruel Intentions

Disturbing Behaviour

Wild Things

And maybe Doom Generation (but I haven't seen that since the day and I feel like it's an, ahem, acquired taste).

For more lighthearted comedy, Clueless is gold.