Spoilery recounts? Hilarious reviews? Serious takes? Just want to know what one female film reviewer who likes action thinks about the latest release?
My collection of reviews from the releases of 2019.
Visually gorgeous, narratively muddled and the best character is an index finger.
I'm confident I've seen this before, but probably in the mid-90s, at at teeny-girl sleepover. Probably we turned it off partway through and played "light as a feather..." Or attempted a seance. Or rewatched Candyman. Or Childs Play. Or The Exorcist. Or Tremors. Or Flatliners. Or anything else that might have been actually scary and cheap on overnight from Blockbuster. Or was it Video Ezy?
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If we didn't turn it off half way through, then it clearly left way less impact on my life than I suspected, because I've spent my whole time with this meme thinking it came from Game of Thrones (never seen it). It was probably the most excited I got all movie when Jack froze and I was all "OMG is that where that comes from!" And for every one of you pissing yourself laughing and going "how could you not know that?" I know there's another one of you out there nodding along and going "I had no idea either." And guess what, finding its source has not made any of those memes more culturally relevant. It's still just a frozen dude.
Like many Stephen King adaptations, this feels like it suffers from the issue of trying to tell too many stories and everyone is having their own bad time. I'm sure it's fine in a book, but it a film it's just messy. The kid is literally the best and I don't know why he didn't get more air time. His spooky, spooky "imaginary" friend Tony, played by his index finger and low growly possessed child voice is absolutely brilliant. Honestly, I could have watched that story for hours. Telepathic child with possessed finger sees visions of disturbing crap - gold.
But no. We can't gave have a clear and pure story of gold. Then we have Dad getting a bit loopy, but no-one's sure how loopy. Maybe he's just an angry writer. Maybe he's a drunk. Maybe he's fully psychotic. But he start pretty whack and just gets a bit wilder. Random ghosts start showing up for everyone in the family, never consistently the same ghosts, and none of them with any discernible purpose. It's like a random grab bag of hauntings. It's like a ghost movie that doesn't know how to communicate properly. The feeling I was left with at the ending was "what the hell is that supposed to mean?" and "What's the point?"
The gist of the story for anyone who hasn't seen it, is a husband, wife and a young son are locked in to a massive hotel as caretakers over winter, when the hotel is closed. Bad things have happened here in the past, and it might be on (cue spooky music for Stephen King cliche) an *Indian Burial Ground.* Then in theory looks like it's meant to be a descent into madness tale as the Dad gets loopy. Except everyone is getting loopy. Or something.
Don't get me wrong, there are some things that are absolutely spectacular. The opening scenery, those long gliding shots over lakes and into the mountains, to that glorious hotel. And then the interiors... I was in love. Then I was in awe when I learnt they built all the luxurious 70s hotel hallways and ballrooms as sets in the UK. Like glory be! I want to stay in that set hotel with it's spectacular carpets and it's deliciously manic bathrooms. But sadly it all burnt down in a lighting fire. Then it was rebuilt. But it's still just a set. But an absolute triumph in set construction.
And the set is nicely captured on camera. Watching the kid ride his trike around this giant deserted hotel (set) is entrancing.
Another thing is I know, logically, the Jack Nicholson came first and I know that Jim Carrey has been influenced by him. I know logically that they are different humans. But my logic brain here couldn't over-ride the sensation that I was watching Jim Carrey, so similar are their facial contortions. And I completely get how some people can't comprehend this, but the fact that someone has Deep Faked this experience tells me I'm not entirely alone out there.
You can see segments of the film the way they appeared to me here:
It's solid, but so messy. If I was scoring set alone, 5 stars. Set and cinematography, 4.5 stars.
But as a holistic cinema experience.
J* gives it 3 stars.
PS. I still think Hocus Pocus Here's Johnny is the most culturally relevant thing to have come from The Shining. This time it's war:
