The Affair

22. Limbo

That state of not knowing, of seeming to float between two or more certainties, can be one of the most frustrating and emotionally draining periods of any persons life.

Hey.... Kosi...'

'Mmmmhhhh. Eva?'

Kosi slowly drifted out of sleep only to stare into the eyes of Hope.

'Oh Hope?' He said, a bit confused and then joy. 'Eva! Is she...?'

The look he saw in Hope's eyes even before he turned to look at his wife's pale still body, alerted him to the situation. Nothing had changed. His face deflated.

'You need to go home.'

Kosi looked at Hope, and then at Eva lying helplessly on the bed, and was awash with guilt.

Going home would mean sleeping on the bed he had just had sex with Hope on. He felt a sharp pain in his heart. That's when it hit him, the night this all happened, while his wife was in an accident after he stupidly kicked her out of their house, he was busy having sex with his best friend.

Fuck!

'I... I think I'll just stay here for a bit longer.' He finally replied avoiding her gaze.

It was obvious to Hope why Kosi was reluctant to return home. The courageous and carefree attitude she had on the night before was lost at the sight of a comatose Eva and a dejected looking Kosi.

'You've been here since last night and it's already past four in the evening.'

Kosi remained quiet. His gaze never leaving Eva's as his hands cradled hers.

'Knowing you, I'm sure you haven't eaten and have barely slept. I get how you must feel...'

'No!' He stated, startling Hope as he got up from his seat. 'You have no idea how I feel and don't for one second act like you do.' Kosi said barely able to keep his anger under check. 'I just realised that I'm the reason why my wife's in the hospital. If I hadn't kicked her out of our house...'

Kosi covered his face in pain. 'Oh God. Eva, my dear Eva.'

'Kosi, please,you need to stop this. It wasn't your fault. She was cheating on you remember? This is just an unfortunate accident and I'm sure...'

'You're right about one thing...' Kosi began as he scrubbed his face in an attempt to control his emotions. '...it definitely is an unfortunate accident, but whether or not Eva was cheating on me, I should never have kicked her out of the house. It obviously accomplished nothing except put her exactly where she is. In this damn hospital!'

'Kosi, Kay, listen to me. There's no way you could have foreseen this happening to Eva.'

'But...'

'No buts. And think about it, where was Eva and who was she with when the accident occurred?'

Kosi remained silent, the wheels of his mind turning.

'She was with Ebuka ba?'

Kosi looked away from Hope and she sighed.

'You know I care about you.' She said coming around to take Kosi's hands in hers. Kosi let go of Eva's hand. 'I don't want you to think what happened with Eva has anything to do with you. She is her own person and made her choice following Ebuka last night. You were angry, upset, and you have every right to be.'

'But what we did...'

'See it as letting off steam. If you're so upset about what we did then it'll never happen again.'

Kosi let go of her hand.

'I'm just so overwhelmed. Can we not do this right now? I know Eva can't hear us but still.'

Hope nodded her head in understanding.

'I'll check up on you later then.'

She took one last long look at Kosi before walking out of the hospital room.

                                  

                                                                                ***

Kosi took Hope's advice and went back to his house to freshen up.

It was midnight when he finally returned to the hospital. He had a quick shower, brushed his teeth, ate and got some fresh supplies for the day.

He was already a little upset with the nurse for scolding him about taking care of himself and getting some well needed sleep but he just couldn't. The thought of sleeping in the same bed he had sex in with Hope made his stomach churn.

He just assured the nurse that he would take care of himself and explained to her how he couldn't sleep in his bed because his wife wasn't there with him. Luckily, she was a bit of a romantic and allowed him to spend the night in Eva's room.

The thought that he needed permission to sleep in the same room with his wife made him chuckle a bit. The first sign of a smile since the whole incident.

It was this thought he had in his head as he opened the door to Eva's hospital room and stopped dead in his tracks. The room lights were dim so he couldn't see the face of the figure clearly but the stranger was sitting on his seat and his hands were on Eva's.

Anger and pain welled up within him and before he got to the person, he already had a hunch who it was.