The Affair

44. Breath

Always know when it's time to let go. To stop struggling against the current and understand that you need to accept the pain, the mistakes, the tragedies and just breath. Inhale... exhale.

When Eva was finally able to calm her self and get her emotions in check, she got up from the table, took one last look at the sea before walking away and heading for the exit. She took long strides as if running away from something or someone. She was already at the second exit when she heard a familiar voice.

'Eva!'

She turned to see Benjamin hurry towards her.

'Benjamin?' She said in surprise. 'Why... what are you doing here?'

Benjamin just took her arm and led her out of the building and towards the car park.

'Oh! I eh... just came here to uh... get something for my dad!' He concluded a bit more cheerfully than necessary. Proud of himself for coming up with such an ingenious excuse.

Eva looked at Benjamin, then his hands and scanned his entire outfit.

'Where is it?'

'Where is what?' Benjamin asked seeming a bit confused.

'The thing you got for your dad.' Eva said, a smirk on her face.

'Oh... I errr...' He looked absolutely flustered as he stammered.

Eva just laughed and shook her head as she looked at him, a warm smile on her face that reached her sad eyes.

'For a smart man, you're pretty bad at making up excuses.'

Benjamin smile and then wrapped his arm around Eva's waist to give her a side hug.

'You did good today Eva. I'm proud of you and you should be proud of yourself.' He said as he led her to his car.

'Thank you so much.'

***

'You're embarrassing me Eva.' Benjamin said smiling as he allowed her lead him into the guest house.

'You don't understand what you did for me. If not for your not so gentle nudge, I probably wouldn't have had the courage to address my issue with Ebuka.' Eva stated as she entered her room leaving Benjamin to relax on the couch. When she emerged few minutes later, she was putting on a large T shirt and her hair was tied carelessly in a bun. She relaxed beside Benjamin on the sofa, a bottle of water in her hand.

'So? What's the way forward?'

Eva sighed as she relaxed her head on the backrest, her face looking up. 'You know, I'm trying my best not to think about the future.'

'I'm sorry for bringing it up.'

'No. It's good you did.' She began as she released a deep sigh, bringing her head up to face Benjamin. 'I've been trying my very best not to think about it but I just can't. My mind keeps drawing me back to the entire situation. Dissecting everything; what I did wrong, what I could have avoided, the way I should have handled it.'

'Eva...'

'No, I know what you're going to say, "Every one makes mistakes. You need to forgive yourself." and you're right. Everyone does and I do need to forgive myself but I also need to acknowledge the part I played in this whole Affair.'

She took a swig from the bottle of water she had in her hands and just kept staring at the half empty bottle in her hands as though she could see the best path for her to take in it.

'I'm sorry, I forgot to ask. Do you want anything?' She suddenly said turning to face Benjamin.

'What? Don't worry about me. I'm fine.' He said a bit surprised at how Eva changed the topic.