The Boy and his Beast

4. To bite, or not to bite

(Kellan's POV)

With all willpower I have I stop myself from digging my teeth into his tender neck. He smells like he's asking for it. The scent is as if made to attract me. 

I wring my head away and release his mouth. He's shaking but it's not in fear this time. I have to look away or I will surely lose it again. A plan. I need a plan.

"Let's go" I say and grab his arm. He stumbles after me, protesting.

"What? No. Wait! Where? I have to... Kellan, please wait" he pleads but I have to keep moving or I will be too focused on him.

"To my house. We need to talk" I say and consider picking him up again. His little body is trying to stop me but I just drag him along. I want to bite. I want to bite. I want to bite. The urge is growing by the minute, but I don't think Benjamin knows this.

"Why can't we talk here?" he asks but I ignore him while powering my way through the sidewalk.

As I pull him through the door I'm sure all of my neighbors have seen me hauling this resisting teen along, but the need inside me is so strong I don't care. I slam the door and rummage through my things in the dresser. Inside is a pair of handcuffs.

"Cuff me" I say and put the metal binders in his hands. He looks stunned before realizing how bad the situation is. I growl and in haste he clicks them shut around my wrists.

"You, OK?" he asks as I test them. He flinches but they hold. We both calm down a little bit but I know the urge will only get stronger. I should tell him to go before it's too late but I can't do it. I want him.

I sit down at the table. He follows and sits down across from me.

"I never wanted a mate" I say and his face lights up.

"That's perfect!" he squeals, relieved beyond my imagination. "I'll leave. You can call someone to come free you when the need is over" he continues and gets up.

"I never wanted a mate, until I actually met you" I clearify and he sits down again, the happiness gone from his face.

"So you want this?" he asks, his wonderful blue eyes stuck in the table.

"No... I don't want this, but I want you. I... hate the idea of a mate but I can't hate you..." I say and hope that he will understand and come to his senses and leave, because right now I am not in mine and I feel like I might lie just to get what I want. I need it so bad.

"But... I can't. Like, I really can't. I will never trust you and we could never..." he doesn't finish the sentence but I can tell what he means. Actually it's all I can think of right now. I have never been this horny in my life.

"How can you think there is no way to get over your fear? How will you live like that?" I ask impatiently. 

He scrunches his face into a sad one that makes me want to hold him tightly. I'm doing things all wrong. I'm pushing him towards something I don't know if I want it myself but I can't stop.

"I can't be fixed. You think this is something small but I was abused for years. It doesn't go away just like that. I could never be with you. Never" he says with conviction and I'm shocked into clarity. Years...

"Who was it?" I ask, the demanding tone strong and my rage dangerously close. "Who hurt you?" He doesn't answer right I away. I can tell he wants to leave and I know that if I wasn't his mate he would have never told me this. 

Our bond, not even formed yet, convinced him to trust me. The thought makes my heart squeeze.

"My old pack. They... took in young strays but only boys. They took me in when I was young. There was a lot of fighting and no one really cared for us. The strong ones thrived with them, but they used anyone who was weak. Some of them were especially bad... those who liked boys" he tells me with a dead tone. I can hardly bare to hear his perfect voice like this.

"They raped you?" I ask, wanting him to say no, to say I got it all wrong.

He doesn't answer but his scilence says it all. The rage burns in me and gives the horrible need a counterforce. I get up from the table and sit down in the couch instead, a new need inside me. This one stronger and bigger than the carnal one. I want to protect him. 

I take a deep breath before I ask him.

"Could you trust me?"

He gets up to stand in front of me. There is a hint of a smile on his face but it's buried in a mask of pain.

"I don't trust anyone, and I don't know you" he whispers but doesn't move. He's still here.

"But you want to" I say and look at his beautiful face. He is everything I want. From his worried forehead, to his slender nose and delicate cheekbones, down to his thin lips. I will do anything for this boy.

"Trust my words if you can't trust my body. I promise not to hurt you. I promise not to take you against your will. If you let me mark you, you have my word that no one will hurt you ever again, and that includes me" I promise him and look hopefully at his worried eyes. 

I can't remember the last time I pleaded like this. Had I ever?

He's silent for a long time. The blue eyes are in pain and so am I. A small sigh escapes his lips before he sweeps his black hair back with a slender hand. His skin is so white I can see the blue veins like tattoos under the surface.

"To bite, or not to bite..." he says and I can't believe he's making a joke right now. He's smiling. I'm stunned and don't know what to say. He just smiles at me.

"I just wanted to live a normal human life and leave all wolf things behind but now I can't. I have never felt attracted to anyone ever, but you make me feel... good and I can't give up on this feeling" he continues but small tears make their way down his pretty face, breaking the smile.

"I will spend my life making you feel good" I say and he shivers by my voice. 

As he straddles me, I have to fight the urge to grab him. I'm so glad my hands are tied up. He lowers his small body onto mine and gasp as our clothed flesh touch. His butt is resting against my thighs and his crotch is right atop mine. He bends his neck and shows off the delicate skin there.

He smells like summer, winter, sex, sleep, joy, safety and danger all at once. I let my breath blow across his skin before I touch it. He shivers and pulls away from me, his hands resting on my shoulders.

"I can't" he cries. Desperate tears on a pained face. 

"You can. I won't hurt you" I whisper and he lets me close in on his neck again. I consider just biting it quickly, but he's so scared his breath is shallow, and I feel his heart racing between us. 

Slowly and softly I brush my lips against him and feel the soft little hairs on his skin. A small whine escapes his lips. He shivers as I place a careful kiss on the side of his neck.

"Kell..." he whispers and I can tell he's losing his courage.

"You are so strong and brave" I murmur into his ear. "Benjamin..." I whisper his name and he grabs my neck in response. "I will protect you" I murmur fondly and move my mouth towards his neck. We both have to twist our bodies but he does so and I place my mouth in a big kiss atop his neck. 

The skin is thin and soft. I can feel the bones and the veins underneath. As I open my mouth as wide as it can go I feel his hands grab the back of my shirt. I feel my mouth shift and my teeth become longer and pointier. 

They easily slide into his flesh. The feeling of marking him sends ripples of incredible ecstasy through me. He's mine now.