The Boy and his Beast

18. A floodgate opens

(Benjamin's POV)  

When I wake up this time he's right beside me. I'm not sure if he's the kind to stay in bed, or if he's doing it for my sake. Today he's not as foucused on his phone so he notices me right away. 

"Good morning" he says sweetly, like he loves me, like I'm the one he want's to marry and live his life with. He lies so beautifully. 

"Morning" I mumble and rub the sleep from my eyes. My ribs hurt and the side of my face is throbbing in pain. His shirt is too big and it slides down my arm, revealing the scars from Ross and from my own doing. It's a patchwork of cuts, bruises and the redness from where the ropes has cut into my skin. 

So ugly. I make myself small and try to hide all the disgusting marks. It's practically all of my body. 

"Ben?" he asks worriedly and reach out to put his hand on my shoulder. He doesn't acctually touch me util he's sure that I've noticed his hand. 

"I'm sorry" I whisper. "I'm so ugly. I'm sorry" I mumble over and over again, trying to make myself less... of anything. His hand on me is burning and I can tell he's staring at me. 

"No, you're not. Benjamin, what's wrong?" he pleads and try to caress the hair back from my face.  

Another slap lands on my cheek. The sound of the smack echoes in the basement. Ross is holding me in a choking grip with my hands behind my back. But he's not the one hurting me today. This man is taller and stronger, and he's staring at me with pure malice. 

He gather his fingers in a big fist and make sure I get a good look at it before he lands the punch. My head flies to the side and the pain of the hit flashes up my cheekbone to my skull. I cry and wail but he has no mercy. I know this. 

It still doesn't stop me from begging. 

Ross likes it when I beg; it makes him calm down. This man in unaffected. He just looks at me with half a smile and gathers his fist again. This punch makes something crack. 

"Please! Please stop! It hurts! I think it's broken! Please! I'll die!" I howl in despair but he just grabs my hair and spit in my face before giving me a rough slap again. My whole face is throbbing and I fear for my life. 

"Ben." 

It's a voice far too tender and loving, echoing through my darkness. I feel something warm surround me. It smells like home, even though I don't have one. My face is wet from tears and my body is shaking uncontrollably. 

"Not the face" I whisper pleadingly and cover it with my hands, not sure of who I'm pleading to. I can feel a hand move away from my face. 

"OK, I won't touch your face, baby" I'm reassured by a soft murmur. 

Slowly, slowly I can tell where I am. Slowly, slowly I make my way back to reality. Kellan has gathered me up in his arms, sitting with his back to the headboard, holding me. 

I realize that I'm stuck in his grip and I spasm. My whole body jerks awake, trying to get free. My weak limbs stuggle but it's no use. Wheezing and hyperventilating I try to form words, to tell him to let me go, but I can't speak. 

He just holds me as I shiver and the fight in me fades into a terrified submission. I'm at their mercy, again. The thought of it makes me stiffen. 

"Breathe, just take a slow breath" he coos and press me against his chest. It's warm. He's so warm. And big. And strong. I try to push him away. I have to get away! 

"Please!" I beg but he's still holding me firmly. It doesn't hurt but I know he can if he want's to. The thought makes me cry. 

His big hand is caressing my back, warming me. It feels so stange. I just shudder, unable to do anything but cry. Weak as always.