1001 Love Stories Darker

Demons (2)

Word count: 4069

"Good morning." I woke up to a handsome man dressed in nothing but a shirt. He had a devil-like tail and two large horns.

He also had long blonde hair and red eyes.

Of course, my first thought was to freak out. If there was a half-demon guy in your kitchen, you would do the same!

"Who the hell are you?" I asked. He smiled a fanged grin.

"I'm your demon," he said, and I instantly threw the first thing my hand touched at the demon only for it to hit him and take him down like a cartoon character.

"How dare you!" he yelled.

"And to think you brought me here! I could have come here, mentally tortured you into committing suicide and stolen your soul but no. I come here in human form and do I yeet you out of your bed by your foot and drag you down the halls? No! I cook you breakfast and what does all my generosity get me? A old pop can flung at my head. What if I had died? Do you have any idea how embarrassing that would be? 'Oh Valer, I thought you were doing a job. What happened? The power of Christ compelled you? Did a plus ultra priest choke you out with a rosary?' No, I got killed with a Pepsi!" He shouted for a solid two minutes while I sat there in utter confusion as he complained, somehow managing to walk up the wall and pace the ceiling.

"I don't even like bacon! Personally I'm more of a goat spleen kinda demon, along with some truffles and beans, but do I call forth a goat and kill it in your kitchen to make my favorite breakfast? No! I just crack open a book and learn how to make pancakes. Yeah, I burned a few, but it's the thought that counts," he said.

I realized I was gonna be late for work.

"And another thing. You called me here, couldn't you have at least set out an offering? I know some demons who won't even get out of bed unless three virgins are sacrificed. But you couldn't bother to kill a cat or a squirrel. You couldn't even stop at your local kroger and grabbed a frozen chicken!" he yelled. I got up and started getting dressed.

"And you could at least been up! What type of asshole summons a demon and then goes to sleep?" he ranted. I stopped

"OK, wait, how did I summon you here?" I asked. This only seemed to piss him off more.

"Well I was called when you said: 'please Valer, come to me. I need you'," he said and I instantly turned red.

"I said Tylor. My ex. Not you!" I explained and he only seemed to be hurt.

"Oh, so you weren't calling to me?" He said, lowering himself to the floor.

"I'm sorry," I apologised. I had never seen something look so miserable.

"I've never been summoned before so I guess I got excited and misheard you," he whispered, looking away. I instantly felt bad for him.

"Hey, don't worry, I'm sure someone will summon you and you'll---"

"No, I'm not a very good demon, I'm too nice. I even get called angel by other demons. But it's OK," he sighed. As much as I knew I would regret it, I cracked.

"Fine. What do you want? What can I get from summoning you? I'm not giving up my soul, though," I told him. He instantly sprung, looking as excited as a puppy.

"Yay! I can grant you your deepest desire and it will only cost you your life. Basically, I'll become your demon and you'll have to feed me. But I don't---"

"I'm good," I said, grabbing my pants.

"But I didn't get to finish."

"I don't do enslavement," I said and he pouted.