Two Jonin and an Investigation

8 Shinobi, 1 Drunk Argument, 9 Shots of Whiskey

Later in the chapter, Yamato uses the phrase "sleep with" as in implying an intimate relationship because he's mad at Kakashi (lol) and Kakashi says it, too. Just a heads up, cause the rating is 13-18 or something like that and I dunno if I'm allowed to put that? Soooo 
________________________________________________________________________________

Kakashi walked into the bar and sat with his friends: Anko, Genma, Izumo, Hayate, and Asuma. Raido and Yamato soon followed. One bottle of beer became empty, and soon several empty shot glasses and bottle were piled up in the corner, being neatly arranged by drunk Yamato.

"Asuma, you should drink more, if you're always the one looking out for our drunk selves."

"Yeah. Drunk Asuma plus drunk us equals..." It's sad how drunk Izumo was that he had to take a second to think. "...Equals means you're also drunk which equals you not having to take care of us."

"Izumo, you are so drunk right now, I could make a documentary about what happens when you drink, and it would stumble scientists for years."

"Well, Anko, you're so, um, m-mean! That you would, um, make the scientists cry."

"I'm so mean..." Izumo nodded. "That I would make the scientists..." Izumo nodded again. "...Cry." Izumo stood up.

"Yeah, 'cause you're so mean! That- like- like they would like- fire you because you're mean so like- you can't make the docunemary anymore!"

"Docunemary? Docunemary?"

"Yeah, meanie." He stook out his tongue and everyone laughed.

"Hey, guys, I heard that Kakashi had a secret girlfriend, and that she's a jonin."

"Hey! What the heck, Asuma, it's secret."

"I blame the alcohol, and if it was so secret, why'd you tell me?"

"To get you off my back, so you wouldn't try to get me a girlfriend. Look, you made Tenzo cry!"

"No!" Tenzo said, crying. "You can't call me Tenzo anymore, not until you tell me who this, this girl is!"

"Yamato, calm down." Anko said. Kakashi furiously rubbed the bridge of his nose, glaring at Asuma.

"You could've at least told me! We could've sorted this out! But noooo!" Yamato took another shot. "You decided to ditch me to sleep with some random girl?" Both Asuma and Kakashi were cursing in their thoughts.

"Kakashi, I am so sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"No, Tenzo, I'm not sleeping with someone else, ok? That someone else he's talking about is you, or was you if you're gonna break up with me. I needed an excuse to get him off my back, this is just a misunderstanding." Anko and Izumo were drunkily giggling as Hayate and Genma just kinda sat there, drinking and watching. Raido was in the restroom, fortunately. Yamato hugged Kakashi, which was easy since they were sitting next to each other. After several minutes of silence, he started speaking softly, not loud and scary like earlier.

"Senpai, if I didn't know you better I'd ask you for proof or something. But I know you. And I already miss you."

"Sorry, Tenzo." Kakashi hugged Yamato back and glared at Asuma, who was at this point genuinely fearing for his life.

"Guys, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for-"

"It's fine," Yamato sniffled. "I was just worried for a second, there. Also, we're all drunk, so I'm just extra sensitive." Yamato said, pressing his face in Kakashi's chest.

"What do you guys wanna do now?" Anko said. Yamato attempted to say something but was muffled by Kakashi. He was too lazy to actually get up, so he just stayed there.

"He said he doesn't know."

"Well, I don't want the rest of the night to be awkward, considering what just happened. So- Hey Raido's back!"

"Hey, guys. What'd I miss?" Anko looked to Asuma and Kakashi who both shook their heads slightly.

"Nothing. But Izumo and Yamato are super drunk, right now, and Genma, Hayate and me are just watching Asuma and Kakashi glare at each other."

"Seems about right. So, what now? Cards? Truth or dare? Never have I ever? Something?"

"I don't know if it's the right time to do that, but I don't think any of us wanna leave, either." 

"Can we all get wasted so we can forget what happened? It was supposed to be a secret in the first place," Yamato asked.

"You guys aren't telling me anythin-"

"Yeah." Everyone agreed.

"I don't quite feel listened to right no-"

"Hey, waiter! 9 shots of whiskey, for us three."

"Three? There are eight of us. What if I want whiskey? Because I know you didn't order any for me-"

"So, Kakashi, what else is going on, right now?"

"Ah, everyone wants me to take a break from being a shinobi. But it's getting boring, not fighting."

"I bet you guys aren't even trying to ignore me, no-"

"What about you, Asuma?"

"Nothing, really. Just slow work. You, Anko?"

"And you guys some how find a way to interrupt every single thing I sa-"

"Like Kakashi said, peace is boring. I don't really care for the money, I want the fight, and the respect, and the 'helping Konoha' kinda thing." Raido got up.

"I bet you guys wouldn't even care if I left! I bet you wouldn't even notic-"

"Like protecting the people or protecting the village?" Raido left, and as soon as he was out of sight everyone burst into laughter.

"Oh my gosh, poor Raido!"

"He's gonna be so mad at us!"

"Hey!" Raido said, in the booth behind them, genuinely shocking everyone. "I'm still here, and you didn't notice that, either?! I hate you guys!" He laughed with everyone and sat back down.