Two Jonin and an Investigation

"I'm just not ready to be a father, yet."

Special thanks to rain_fur (I really hope I don't mess the user up somehow) because I like thanking people and this special boi (tryna be gender neutral right now) deserves a big thank you! And also that one person that somehow reads a chapter right after I post it (I'm talking 30 seconds or less) and everyone who likes my story. You people make me happy and wow this was too long so thanksss

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They still had half a day off, so Tenzo (unfortunately) attempted to start a conversation.

"How's the plant I gave you? I wanna see it."

"Oh..."

"Oh? Why? I wanna see it. Did it die?"

"It sprouted, so I threw it away."

"That's not... Why did you throw it away?"

"Because, Tenzo," Kakashi turned to look at him seriously. "I'm just not ready to be a father, yet." Yamato face-palmed, trying not to laugh.

"That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard, throwing away a plant because you're not ready to be a father."

"Well, I'm not."

"What if I just brought home a child one day? Are you gonna throw it out?"

"No, of course not! That's illegal, so I'd send them to foster care." He looked at Yamato. "But, why would you give me custody of a child if I'd just put them up for adoption?" He looked at Yamato again, who had crossed his arms. "You're not bringing home a child, correct?"

"Of course not, but I still wanna see how well you deal with plants."

"Why- Ooohh, I know why. But if you give birth to another throat baby, I swear, I'll-"

"Relax." Tenzo grew a fully bloomed flower, colorful and vibrant, out of his hand, of course. And it smelled wonderful. "Take care of this, water it twice a day, it needs sunlight and warmth. You can ask around if you want, and most importantly..."

"What?" Yamato put on his scary face.

"If this flower looses a petal, you loose a limb." Kakashi jumped, but slowly and gently swiped the plant from Yamato's arms.

"What's their name? Is it a boy or a girl?"

"Senpai, that's not what... it's not how... you don't..." Yamato sighed. "You decide, then."

"I'm just gonna ask Ino, because she would actually help me, unlike you, the real father, who gave birth to a hand baby just to test someone's skills? Un-be-lieve-able. Tenzo."

"That's coming from the guy who threw his child away because he was scared to be a father."

"Well, Tenzo, you didn't give me any instructions, so-"

"Real life babies don't come with instructions!"

"Oh, so now, we decide that plant was a child, huh? After you obviously were disappointed in me for seeing it as more than a plant, hm? Well, maybe I'll just leave and ask Ino about it."

"As long as you don't throw away another child, Hatake." Kakashi marched out of his apartment, leaving Tenzo to wonder if that was how divorces started. He marched all the way to Ino's flower shop to find her lazily reading a magazine at the counter.

"Ah, hello, Kakashi Sensei! What brings you here?"

"Um," Kakashi started to realize how dumb of a question it really was. "Does this plant have a gender?" Ino giggled.

"Well, this type of plant, I've actually never seen this before. It looks tropical to me. Where did you get this? It's very vibrant and well-grown." 

"It was a gift. From a friend. But I don't know much about it."

"Well, I can't tell you much, but it looks like it doesn't have a gender to me (I know absolutely nothing about plants, or their genders, and how to tell which ones have genders. Sorry, gardeners). Any other way I can help?"

"Well, he said water it twice a day, and that it needs warmth and sunlight. Can I just, like, shine a lamp on it or something?"

"You can, but it'll grow better if it has real sunlight. I doubt it needs sunlight at nighttime. Rarely any plants do (Again, not a plant expert)."

"Do I need special soil, or anything like that?"

"I think he would've specified if it was really necessary. Just make sure it's good soil, not too dry that it's cracking or wet that it's soaking. I think you have enough info about it to keep it healthy."

"Okay, that'll help a lot. See you later!"

"Bye, Sensei!" Kakashi marched out of that store and back into his apartment.