The Wolf and The Dragon (Book 2)

46 - Fever

[Akita]

As soon as Lloyd walked out of his bedroom I buried my face in his pillow, feeling his scent only upset me even more... I let my tears wash over my face, I am in pain, my head aches, my body aches but worse of all my heart aches...

How would you feel if everything you think you know about yourself turned out to be just an illusion, an alternate reality of the truth? The shadow of what I should have become.

And the person you cherish all your life, believing he was blood of your blood, your brother, it is only some special soul doing his job to protect you against yourself. I should have seen it before!!

What if you grow up all alone and afraid, and suddenly you find out you have so much power, you could have ended all that long ago, but yet you slept every night dreaming of a hero, a saviour, a boy able to change every single beating of your heart... and then... he turned out to be more than just a dream, and you fall in love, everything is so perfect, so right, to the point that nothing else really matters.

Until... you come to the realisation that the girl he loves is not you, but the alternate reality of yourself. Someone who grows up in his Realm, knows his language, his customs, his traditions, his ways of life... the girl who knows how to dress in the 'Ninjago' way... had a family support, a fancy education to become a doctor, she learned all about the wolf before even becomes the wolf herself. She is nothing like me... I can not be her!

What are his expectations, sure he wants her back... but, what about me... would I just disappear, cease to exist, would he even missed me, or remembered me the way he remembers her.

I can't stop myself from crying, I wanted to cry all day, but I hold back my tears, pretending I was fine, but I am not... I can take Kataru not being my brother, I can handle the power of The Wolf, I can take anything, but my broken heart... why did I feel for him so easily... why have I been so naive... it hurts now...

I cried and cried for hours, then suddenly everything was very quiet, or maybe it was just me falling asleep...

I woke disoriented, I was still aching, drenched in my own sweat and feeling very thirsty. I looked around Lloyd room, I couldn't see any water, I got out of bed, my body was shaking at the same time I felt as if was in flames, I never felt anything like that before. I opened the window to get some fresh air, the full moon was just about to set.

The Wolf took over me, I jumped out howling, finding ways to slow down my free fall from the top of the mountain were the monastery is. I finally made to The Valley, where I found a water stream, it was fresh, cold, I drank from it, but when I tried to stand on my feet, I felt nothing but void. My body collapsed on the floor, I try to, but couldn't move, and then I lost my senses.

[Lloyd]

I went to sleep on Kai's room, he left to see Skylor, I knew he wouldn't come back, so I just grabbed his bed.

However, I couldn't sleep, I rolled over for one side to another of the bed, thinking about what just happened, why wouldn't she let be with her, have I done something to upset her, I hope Kataru is right, she is just overwhelmed and tired, but I can't help.... I missed her! Her cute noises when she is sleeping, her scent of wood, her contagious laugh, her cute accent, the way she asked to explain something new and words she has never heard before... Oh Boy... I am so in love, she is breaking my heart not letting me be by her side.

My thoughts kept going on an endless circle, recapping all events of the day, where exactly her started to change, I should have paid more attention to her, I was so engrossed in getting back home, bringing her with me, Kai is right, It didn't even occur to me to ask her if that was what she wanted. I feel guilty, I feel powerless...