On The Run

Chapter 16. we gotta talk... Jase p.o.v.

We waited until they got back from Will's.  We sat on the couch not speaking.  Brody kept looking over at me. I didn't say much.  But after talking to Alex for really the first time I have it figured out at least. He wasn't even surprised. 

They all came into the living room.  Tyler looked at the both of us. He was acting like I was hiding a gun. Dani's eyes got big when she saw me. She looked over to Brody looking for answers. Brody nods to her and she nods back.

I feel drained.  Our friends take a seat and start talking.  Im still watching her. She sets her stuff down.  I can see her stiff movements. I get up and walk over to her. I can feel her emotions radiating off her. She's scared and embarrassed. 

"We need to talk. " I tell her quietly.  She nods and I take her hand. She follows me out of the house.  I go to my truck and get in. She gets inside the passenger seat. She folds her hands in her lap.

"We're going to go for a ride." I tell her. She looks over to me. It kills me inside looking at her. I turn the radio on low. The silence would have drove me insane.

I drive us to the field where we first began.   I get out and throw the pallets that I picked up earlier on the ground.  I move the truck so its not to close. I get out and start the fire. She gets out and looks around.

"Jase?"

"Yeah" I say as I throw gas on the pallets. I light the gas and watch the flame come to life. The fire grows larger.

"Why are we here?"

"This is where I fell for you. Right here is where we held hands all night. You were upset when I found you earlier.  So I held you all day.  I barely left your side.... It started when I went to check on you. I went to tell you about Brody's crush but I heard you crying so I opened the bathroom door.  You were curled up on the ground inside the shower.  You didn't even hear me come in. I turned off the water and wrapped you in a towel.  I picked you up and rocked you. Your tears made me sad. When you finally calmed down I got you dressed.  We came to this Field.  All of us. We had a great time.  You set aside what happened and we hung out with our friends.  My hands never leaving you. I held you, I kissed you and you kissed back. I told you that you belonged to me and you gave me attitude. That's what I fell for. The girl that broke but stood up and smiled again." I tell her. I look out to the fire with the memories of that night floating around us.

She came closer to me. The tears running down her face. I pull her into me and she wraps her arms around me. She rests her head against my chest staring into the fire.  We watch the pallets burn.

"Do you feel anything?  Can you at least feel what we had because I'm dying inside. And the idea that your with my identical twin and not me is killing me. I tried being so patient.  I wanted you to come back to me but I feel its never going to happen. " I tell her and the tears are back. She's sobbing and I feel awful.  I don't want to hurt her. But I don't really know what else to do.

"I feel alot for you...I just don't know how to go forward.  What happened with Brody. .I don't know.  It happened and it was unexpected.  I was sleeping and next thing I know it was happening.  I have no clue how I feel about him anymore.  Or how he feels about me. I went to sleep with my best friend and now I don't know what he is or wants to be. Im sorry I hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you.  I just want to remember and be happy.  But I'm scared if I remember, I'm not going to be happy.  Im scared I'm going to lose everything and everyone all over." She says crying.

I realize she's repressing and she's to scared to remember. I start thinking about everything.  I need her to remember.  I get out of the truck.  I grab her hand and help her inside the passenger seat. I buckle her in and wipe the tears from her face. Her eyes are wide and scared.

I get in and drive her to our first date. I help her out and walk her to the pier. I look at her as she looks around confused. I pull her closer to me.

"This was our first date. I brought you here the day we helped you move in with us. We fed the ducks and talked about everything." I say and she nods as she looks out to the water.

I grab her hand and bring her to the airport.  I park at the top of the parking garage.  I lead her out and to the elevator.  We get in the elevator and I hit the first floor button. I then push the emergency stop button. I walk over to her and lift her up against the wall.

"This is second place we had sex. You took your panties off and let me take you against the wall.  You were screaming my name as I pounded into you. I thought you were going to leave marks all over me." I tell her as I breathe on her neck. I nip at her skin and I feel her melt against me. "When we came, I had to carry you out because you were shaking.  We went to dinner where I confessed that I loved you."

"Jase..."

I pushed my hands up the back of her shirt.  My hands against her skin.  I start sucking on to her neck. Her hands go into my hair. My other hand travels down, I lift her up by her ass and I squeeze hard as I push myself between her legs. She wraps her legs around me, while lifting her head up. My mouth goes up her neck. She lets out a moan and she's all into it.  I lift her shirt and suck onto a nipple. 

Her nails dig into me as I pull on it with my teeth.  Im getting hot. My hand reaches into her pants and she flexes against the wall. Her breathing gets quicker and I rub her clit faster.  She starts grinding against my hand.

I tug her head down and smash my lips to hers. She opens her mouth and I thrust my tongue into her mouth. Her hands start tugging on me as she moans into my mouth. 

I wanted her to remember.  I wanted to push the memories of us into her. The love we had. The out of control feelings I had for her. The way she made me feel needed, wanted, and loved. The way she made me feel completed.  If there's soul mates then she's mine. I can't lose her but I will go away if that's what she wants. 

I kiss her with everything in me. She's coming apart in my hands and saying my name against my lips. I know this isn't fixing anything but I haven't touched her since her accident. I slowly pull away from her. She slides down the elevator wall and looks up at me.

"I..."

"Im sorry. I just want our life back. I want our future. " I tell her my own tears now going down my face. She stands up and presses her body against mine. Her lips softly caress mine and I close my eyes.