On The Run

Chapter 18. Taking Flight part 2

Dani's p.o.v.

Blake and I finally left the house and headed to the cemetery.  We walked thru the stones searching for my mom. I could tell Blake felt uncomfortable as he looked with me. After a half hour looking Blake found her.

I stood there just looking at her name and what was written. It felt like a blow to the chest. I slowly walked up to her headstone and started tracing her name with my fingers. It didn't feel real until this moment. 

I couldn't stop the tears even if I wanted to.  Then I was hit with a memory.  It wasn't more than a moment.  It was of us at the house and Will doing cpr. The ambulance coming and taking my mom away. I fell to my knees as I remembered Chase taking care of me. Alex holding my hand as I cried. Chase carrying me to my mom laying on the hospital bed. I could feel all the love he showed me and my mom. 

I felt the lost and dark feelings I had going thru me. I wanted to die to. I didn't want to live without her. I felt it all starting to consume me. All the pain of losing my mom ripping me a part as if I just lost her. I cried before for her but it was different.  I felt like she was on vacation or something.  Now it was so real.

Blake came and sat down behind me. He pulled me into his lap. He rubbed circles into my back as I cried.  Time passed and I calmed down.  I never expected this. I thought I would come here and not feel anything.  I had no connection to this place but seeing my mom's name was enough to push memories forward.

We walked to the truck slowly.  The day felt so long already and we have so much longer to go. We get in and I just sit back. It's time I call Chase, Alex and Will. I get my phone out and call Will first.

I tell Will where I am and I slowly tell him that I remember him and the boys.  I don't remember everything.  But I now have a memory of all of us when my mom died. I hear him sounding choked up on the phone. It was such a broken moment.  But I remember him saying that I was family and I remember the pain in his eyes when he was looking at my mom. I remember Nicky crying for my mom and wanting her to hold him. He tells me even though it's a sad memory that he's happy that I remember.  As we get off the phone he says that he loves me. No matter what happens I still have a dad.

I call Chase and he answers on the third ring. He sounds a little worried. I haven't talked to him since we graduated. I tell him about my new memory and that I'm glad he was in it. He puts it on speaker so Alex is now listening.  I tell them that I remember Alex and Chase saying goodbye to my mom. That I remember feeling safe and loved by Chase as he worried about me and held me as I broke down. I tell them how I'm sorry that it took so long.  That I never meant to forget them. I know how much they mean to me now. I tell them I don't remember everything but I know how important they were to me at that moment. 

They ask me what I'm doing now and I tell them that I'm leaving the cemetery and going to Buffalo, New York.  Im going to see my father.  That I'm ready to remember everything and that I'm sure it will all come to me.

Chase says that they will meet us there and we will all go together or they can wait in the car in the driveway but he wants to be there. I slowly agree. It would be nice to have more support.  I get off the phone and we head out to the airport.

We sit down after getting to the airport.  We sit waiting for our flight.  I can't believe we are finally going back.  I feel scared but I have to do this. We have about an hour left to wait.

"Hey, you sure you want to do this now? Do you think it could be too much for you all at once?" Blake asks.

"It could be but I have to get this over with.  I feel like I've been in denial all this time but I'm getting there and I have you."

"You will always have me but I just didn't want you to hurt too much."

"Blake, I just got to get this over with. Its been too long as it is. It's time to step out of the past." I tell him and he hugs me to him.

"You know I'm kinda hungry. I think we should get something to eat." Blake says looking at all the little restaurants in the airport.

"Yeah lets get something. " I say and get up. The flight is going to be long anyways.  We get up and grab some breakfast pizza. Yup this is good. I ate earlier but after this morning I was definitely hungry again. 

I started humming to the music playing until I realized it was my phone. Love Taylor Swift.  I see that it's Jase and take a deep breathe. 

"Hey" I answer.

"Did you leave yet?" Jase asks.

"Im waiting to board. "

"Where are you?"

"At the airport. " I tell him.

"I know but where? Oh never mind. Bye" Jase says. Huh? That was weird.  I go back to my slice as I hear Blake go "hey what's up?"

"What are you guys doing here?" I ask.

"After everything that happened last time you went to see your father? Seriously?  We're going with you. It took us awhile to figure it out but we did. Your welcome. " Brody answers.

"No offense to Blake but he doesn't know what he's getting himself into.  Your father is dangerous.  He attacked you last time. " Jase said looking at us.

"No he wouldn't do that." I say to them.

"You called me up crying from some guys phone that picked you up. You were upset because your father hit you and said he never wanted to see you again. I put a restraining order on him. He's not allowed five hundred feet near you.  If you want to see him, we will have to contact the police department out there. I do have Anna's phone number maybe we can meet up with her." Jase says.

"I guess.  I just want to get this over with.  So your on our flight? " I ask.

"Yeah.  I booked for the next flight hoping you didn't leave on the earlier one." Jase says while rubbing a hand thru his hair.

"So what else did you do this morning? " Brody asks.

"We went and visited mom. I remembered Will, Nicky,  Alex, and Chase. Specifically I remembered my mom dying.  It was horrible."

"I know,  I had been trying to call you the whole time  and I gave up. I called Chase and he told me what happened.  We were in the hospital in London because our grandma wasn't doing well. She died the day after your mom. On Tuesday you left to see your father.  That night I finally talked to you for twenty minutes and that was our last conversation before that girl pushed you down the stairs. I used to replay that conversation in my head over and over."

"Chase and Alex are meeting us at the airport in Buffalo. "

"They are? When did you talk to them? " Brody asks.

"This morning.  I wanted to tell them that I remembered them. They asked what my next step was and I told them. " I tell them as our flight was announced.  We grab our bags and board our flight. Its a big plane and as we grab our seats I see the boys sit down near the front.

The plane finally takes off and I get a text from Jase.  He got a hold of Anna and She's going to meet us for lunch tomorrow.  I lean back in my seat and fall asleep with my head resting on Blake.