Silent Whispers of Dysphoria

Black Piece of Heart

I lost my heart after eighteen
Of survival, losing everything I had.
I needed for survival, a heart new,
Without which I slowly was
Out of breath running.

Near was my end, I was sure of
Losing even myself this time.
But that didn't happen, I received
A chit "Go to northern woods to find".
I was startled but decided to go.
Went there and found an infant
Facing back, giving something
Wrapped in a sheet. Opening, I
Found a white puzzle piece.

My breathing grew better,
I received another chit "go to western beach to find". I went and found
A ten year old, facing back,
Handing again something wrapped in a sheet. Opening, I
Found a white puzzle piece.

My breathing grew even better,
I received another chit "go to eastern hills to find". I went and found
An early teenager, facing back,
Giving something, again wrapped in a sheet. Opening, I
Found again a white puzzle piece.

My breathing was normal then,
But missing something to call complete.
I went to my room and opened the sheets,
I fixed the pieces and it looked,
Something like a heart. I was
Confused. I kept them that way and
Went to sleep.

I found a chit, beside my pillow
"Go to southern house to find".
I ignored, I was breathing then.
But gradually it worsened again.
I hurried to South and found the
"Southern house" and found
A late teenager, facing back,
Handing something wrapped in a chit.
Opening, I found a black puzzle piece.

I denied accepting, but
My breathing worsened even more.
I took it being bound to
And completed the puzzle I had.

It was complete then,
My breathing was normal.
But there was that one odd
Black piece, which made me wonder.
I asked the girl about, she didn't answer.
I grabbed her hand, made her face me.
I was taken aback, it was "me".
Dressed all in black, hair blown
By the wind. I wanted an answer.

"Sometimes you need a black
Piece of heart to survive, to live.
Sometimes you need a bad you,
To be good to yourself. This world
Is confusing, get yourself ready"

And she disappeared in the air,
Leaving me standing all alone.
Years after I looked through
My album to find my pictures
Till then. Memories struck,
I remembered the girls, handing
Me pieces of heart. They were me,
Aged three, ten, fourteen and eighteen.

- Zayana Cullen

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Thank you☺
Zayana Cullen