Running Bases With You

Chapter 40

*Louis' POV*

"Annabeth. What are... What is... What the hell?"

My eyes are burning from staring so long, but the longer, I stare the more real they become. I was hoping for the opposite, that if I stared long enough, they would magically disappear as only a figment of my imagination. Sadly, that isn't the case.

"Louis, I... I don't.."

Annabeth struggles to find any way of explanation. Her eyes are flicking wildly around the room, tears building up behind them. Her fingers are fiddling together, and one of her legs is shaking up and down. These are all nervous habits of hers; she's terrified out of her mind.

I have no clue, not one idea, on what to say. I know Niall said it was bad, but... I didn't know this was what he meant.

I feel a hurricane of emotion, my mind swirling all over the place trying to figure out what to say and how to say it. The amount of dread I feel probably overrules every other emotion I'm feeling, but the anger is a close second. Why didn't she tell me? Why did I have to find out this way? Why is she doing this in the first place? Why?

I stand up from my spot of the couch, my legs having a mind of their own as I start pacing the living room floor. I run my hands through my hair, the frustration taking over me.

"Louis, I-I was going to tell you, I-"

I cut her off without a second thought. "No, no you weren't. If you were going to tell me, you would've told me when this relationship started. I-I thought that you trusted me, I-"

"Louis, I do trust you! I do, but I was afraid! I was so scared to tell you, I didn't know what you'd think-"

"Oh, I'll tell you what I think! I think you didn't think that I'd ever notice what you were doing! You probably thought that I would never find out, so you never planned on telling me! It's always easier that way, isn't it? Telling everyone else what's happening except the one who cares the most!"

I'm practically fuming, and the sad thing is, I'm not feeling any remorse whatsoever. I should feel bad about yelling at Annabeth this way, but I don't feel anything. All that I'm aware of is the anger that I'm focused on letting go of, no matter what the consequences.

"Tell me. Who else knows? Who knows other than yourself?" I ask, still not looking her in the eye.

I can hear her crying now, but as I said before, I feel nothing.

I should feel something, why am I not feeling anything?

"Louis-"

"Tell me!"

"Only Talia, Niall, and Harry, I swear I-"

"So you told my best mates before you told me? Wow, that's just grand!" I laugh sarcastically.

"Louis, please, just let me explain-"

I finally turn to her, staring her dead in the eye. "No! You had your time to explain over a month ago when this relationship started! Is it because of him? Is it because of what that lowlife son of a bitch did? Please do enlighten me, Annabeth!"

Annabeth stands from her spot; I've hit a nerve, and I know it.

"Do you really want to know Louis? Do you really wanna fucking know?" She nearly screams, hot tears streaming down her face.

"Well, it would be nice, yeah!" I throw my arms in the air dramatically.

"Because I hate myself, Louis. I hate myself with every fiber of my being! I can't see why anyone would want to even look at me without getting sick to their stomach! I'm heavier than other girls my age, my face looks like a-a potato, my thighs are huge and disgusting, and I have stretch marks on my stomach and arms! I have social anxiety, severe depression, I'm a struggling anorexic, and I used to be bulimic! The only talent I have is playing softball, and even that is being taken away from me! I'm literally a walking failure, Louis! I'm nothing! I can't take compliments because they're fucking lies! I've tried killing myself three times! I'm not worth having around Louis, so please tell me, please tell me, why are you bothering to stay with me? Why are you wasting your time on me, when there are thousands of other girls waiting in line for you to love them instead? Why, Louis?"