*KEITH POV*
It's been almost a month since we got lance back. He's too his old ways again and already a pain in our butts again but we wouldn't change it for the world. It's my first time back with the blade since he came home too. I made sure lance was okay with me going and he said he was. He understand that I'm not the same person I was when he left. I have new priorities and new needs. Not that he's interrupting those he just needed some time to see it. Today for example. I get to make another shipment and I couldn't get rid of the butterflies in my stomach. I get to see Benjamin again I can't wait. We sit there waiting at the docks for a while until they let us board. Me and a couple members start counting and sorting and loading the goods. Like I always do I watch around waiting for him to show up. It wasn't until we were nearly finished that I saw him. I admit I blushed but what could I say. He scoffed with a smile and shook his head as he walked up to me.
"Thought you died out there" he says blankly with a smile.
"Sorry I had some...personal things come up. Had to set some things aside for a while" I say without giving away too much detail.
"I was starting to think you were leading me on. Asking for my number then never coming back" he smirks.
"Oh no I wouldn't do that to you. Trust me I wanted to call you but it was just never a good time" I almost apologize but I know I didn't need to.
"Can I ask what came up?" He says softly not to break any boundaries.
"There's someone back with voltron we had to take care of for a few days. He was in a real bad place and we needed to make sure he could come back from it. " I say not pointing out it was lance knowing it would spark up questions.
"Is he doing better?" He asks genuinely.
"Yah he's back to his old ways now. Finally got to the point I could get back to my life bothering you here" I laugh trying to change the subject.
"Well I'm glad he's okay. and that you got to get back here to me, I was starting to miss you." He let's the words slip. I could tell by the look in his eyes he meant what he said but didn't know if it was the right thing to say.
"Me too" I smile. There was tension. A good kind of tension that made the butterflies crave a different kind of attention. I got lost in my thoughts I got embarrassed and uncomfortable. I didn't mean to think about him that way and immediately regretted it.
"I should probably get back" I say awkward and hot. He notices my sudden change in behavior and laughs under his breath.
"I'll see you next time, I hope." He says almost asking if I would be here again
"Definitely. And if not I'll text you." I say making up for it
"I mean I'm not gonna complain" he jokes and we laugh a bit.
"Goodbye Benjamin" I say waving him away
"Bye Keith" he says rocking on his heels with his hands shoved in his pockets. He has me and he doesn't even know it.
*LANCES POV*
I feel good. Like really good. I haven't felt this way since I first got her years ago. I felt new and different. Like I have a chance to start over and start new. I almost feel like I did. Everything for me is perfect. Well almost perfect. I relieve these last few months of my life and regret everything from the start. I wasn't in control of my own body when I left Keith and all the thinks I said to him and Noah... it hurts knowing I did it so unconsciously and I can't just make it better by saying
"Sorry I was possessed when I broke up with you love me again." Besides that I'm happy again. Today's the first day I've been without Keith since coming back. I thought I would feel alone and not want to do anything but it's not too bad. I think I've grown a bit and become less dependent on him which is good. Now I've just got to convince him he doesn't have to take care of me anymore. I'm fine and doesn't believe that. He's supposed to be home soon and maybe it's time we sit down and talk. He's be so careful with me I haven't really been able to talk to him like we used to. Yet another thing that doesn't feel so perfect.
"Keith's back" pidge says walking past my room. Not even a minute past and Keith appears in my room.
"How was it?" He asks welcoming himself in.
"How was what?" I ask back.
"Me being gone." He says again like it should have been obvious the first time.
"It was fine. How was the drop." I ask about the latest shipment.
"It was good" he says starting to blush.
"Woah someone's hiding something. Spill" I say sitting next to him nudging him.
"It's nothing" he smiles. I haven't seen that smile since him and I were together. He's truly happy.
"Coooome ooooon" I press smiling knowing it made him happy.
"There's this boy who works at the bays. Him and I have been getting... closer and I'm starting to feel like I have a chance with him. I don't know I might be crazy." He blushed the whole time he was talking. It's like he's had that built up but has never said it out loud. I didn't know how to respond. Nothing made me happier than seeing him happy but it also stung a bit. Knowing he was really over me enough to fall for another. I have no room to feel this way. I did the exact same to him.
"I don't think you're crazy. What makes you think he's into you too?" I ask.
"Well he says he missed me while I was gone and that he was happy I came back to him. He also gave me a nickname when I first meet him and you know how I feel about nicknames." He laughed. I'm happy for him.
"Sounds promising." I say not knowing what else. He read the room and tried changing the subject.
"Sorry I didn't mean to ramble" he said.
"No it's fine. I'm glad you're happy he sounds good for you." I say coming from the heart.
"Thank you. I didn't have anyone else to tell you're the closest friend I've got." He said. I didn't realize it till he called me his friend. Everything I've felt since back in earth was coming to an end. Enemies, lovers and now... friends.
*KEITHS POV*
It was odd calling him my "friend" he's always been aiming more or something completely different. Being with lance made me who I am. I would never have peruses Benjamin if it wasn't for lance. A part of me misses what we were but I'm also head over heals for a new person. And I don't think I'm wrong for feeling this way.
"Hey that's what friends are for." He says. I think we both hated it yet knew that's all we could be anymore. A mutual respect kind of thing.
"While we're doing this whole sharing thing I just want you to know I'm okay. I don't need you to tip toe around me anymore." He says. I've know this whole time I was overdoing it.
"I saw how you were at Noah's. I don't ever want to see you like that again. I guess I'm afraid if I let you go it will happen again." I say being honest.
"I wasn't myself there. I wasn't even myself that last few week I was here before that. It was like a wall between me and reality. I saw what I was doing and understood it but couldn't make my own decisions. I watched everything I had slip away all because of me. Trust me I don't want to end up like that again either." He says. A part of me broke inside. The part that still lives him more that a friend. The part that always waited for him to come running back in saying he made a mistake. I ignored it. I couldn't fall back into his love even if I'm right on the edge.
"Have you ever felt like that before?" I ask wanting to know if he even knew why.
"No never. Not even when I was a kid I don't even know what triggered it." He says. We sat in silence trying to understand it.
"Well let's just hope it never happens again." I say blankly. He nods in agreement. Another silence follows. Then his phone rings. We both look down as Noah's name appears as a phone call. We eye one another seeing who would speak first. Lance gets in his own head and answers the phone.
"Hello" he says in a shaker voice. I can't hear the other half of the conversation but by lances reaction I knew it wasn't good. He gets up pacing back and fourth across the floor. I sit awkwardly wanting to know what was being said.
*LANCES POV*
"Hello" I say
"Hi lance, I realized how wrong I was in so many ways. Not having you here has been hard and I really really need you back. I don't want to go back to how it was before you and I haven't even slept in my own bed since they took you. I know you miss me too and I just need you to realize I love you and I won't do it again." He rants on. I felt nothing but anger when he spoke. I was no longer afraid because of him I was angry at him and in a way myself. As he went on I looked at Keith as his worried eyes watched my every move. I never lived Noah. I made myself believe I did because I knew what I had done to Keith. I tried replacing him so I didn't have to feel the detachment from him. Not listening to a word Noah was saying I cut him off to speak.
"Thank you. Thank you for being so evil to me. If you had truly loved me I would have never woken up from my delusions. I would have put my true love to shame with noting but a fake apology. so thank you for letting me realize I will never fine anything better that what I've had all along." I say staring at Keith. Noah doesn't reply. I felt no regret in what I've said. It was true I just needed a good time to say it. I hung up on Noah immediately deleting his number and looking back up at Keith. For a moment I thought he would come up and kiss me. That he would say
"Finally you're mine again" and he would never let go of me. But he just sat there. I waited for him to say something or even blink but he didn't. I broke him and it broke me.
"I'm gonna go" he says getting up rushing to the door.
"Keith Wait." I said trying to stop him. I knew it wouldn't. He ran away. I couldn't tell how he was feeling and it made me angry. I just wanted something to be easy for us. We've never just been happy. As the though goes through my head I remember all the times we were truly happy. We promised to me married and now we can't even talk about it without messing something up. I throw myself into bed. Reminiscing on the memories when it was easy.
