*LANCES POV*
"What if this was meant to be. This is my second chance. A chance to make things right for once. When you woke up all I could think about was ending this stupid little game I was playing. I would have ask you to be in my life again because I was broken without you. But when you asked who I was I didn't know what to do. For a second I prayed you would remember then I though about all the good this could do. By no means do I want this for you and as selfish as it is I saw this as a chance to wright my wrongs. I begged the team to keep our past private and to never tell you how much we were in love. I thought that if we all had to create new memories I wouldn't make the mistake of making you fall in love with me again. I chose to protect you from myself and convince you we were just friends. It hurts me to lie to you like this. I keep telling myself if he never remembers at least he'll have my friendship form this day forward. Im trying to convince myself I'm making the right decision. If you were to ask about our past I would spin a web of lies to make it sound like we have always been just friends. I wouldn't tell you about the nights we stayed up talking till we fell asleep in eachothers arms. or when I filled your room with pictures of us to show you how much I love you. every fight and every kiss. I wouldn't tell you that being with you still gives me butterflies, and how I would risk eveything just to protect you. I couldn't risk making all the same mistakes again. And if you do remember...I don't think I'd be able to let you go. knowing you remember how much i hurt you and the pain you must have felt when I left. I would spend every second of every day trying to make it up to you. I fear I felt when I thought I lost you never really went away and I don't think it ever will. I know this could blow up in my face but just to see you look at me the way you used to I would risk it. What's another mistake huh. I'm too far gone to be save anyways." I fold up the note pausing for a moment. i felt like what I wanted to say and what I wrote down were different. like I couldn't quite put into words or couldn't convince myself that what i'm doing is the right thing. I give up hiding it away in my jacket pocket with my other note. I wanted to throw them away because I felt like they were stupid but a part of me wanted to hold into them. today would mark the fourth day since keith woke up. he still hasen't remembered anything and hes resorted to making new memories with us to rebuild the frendships the best he could. we planned on having a big dinner so we could all sit around and talk in hopes having us all together in one place could help. writing that note took a lot from me and I knew I needed to feel 100% for the dinner so I decided to take a little walk hoping I could clear my head. It's hard looking at keith knowing how much we have gone through for it to be missing in his memories. somethimes when he looks at me I feel like any second now he could remember and start looking at me again like he used to.
*KEITHS POV*
It's been 4 days and I've learned a lot. for a while I asked myself why I stayed. I didn't have anymore connections to these people so wnat would I be losing if I just left. but there is a sence of belinging here. like I'm meant to be here with there people. so I stayed and tried learning all about them. if I can't remember them why not get to know them. Pidge and hunk are practally inseperable. Shiro has taken on as a father figure for me and something tells me he was like that before too. Hunk can cook and it's suprizingly good. Allura doesn't want to have much fun but I envy her concentration on her work. Coran I still haven't really figured out. Lance is starting to become my best friend, well again I guess. I understand now why him and I got so close. he's funny and always makes sure everyone is taken care of before he is. he's Braver than I ever could be even knowing all the stories about my past with the blade. we were meant to be meeting for dinner tonight but lance said I could come over before so we could talk some more. I went to his room and when he didn't answer I assumed he was in the bathroom or asleep. I went in anyways knowing he wouldn't be mad. he wasnt in the room but I decided to stay untill he showed up. I sat on his bed and fiddled with my hands out of boredom. I noticed his jacket haning up across the room and thought it would be funny to be wearing it when he got back. I made my way to the jacket taking it off the hook. for a second I though about how weird this could be. what if I wasn't this friendly before. I kept trying to be my old self even though I knew nothing about me. I decided agianst wearing it and tossed it back up on the wall but it missed the hook. it fell to the ground and as I went to pick it up I noticed papers in one of the pockets. I grabbed them not worried about his privacy because in the moment all I cared about was what I found. I walked back over to his bed still holding into hsi jacket and opened one of the notes.
"what if this is meant to be...I begged the team to keep out past private and to never tell you how much we were in love..."I read the first half. I read it twice in disbeliefe. it's about me. hes writing about me and how much we were more than just friends. why wouldn't he tell me?
"I chose to protect you from myself and convince you we were just friends...every fight every kiss... and how I would risk everything to protect you" I continue. he did it to protect me. but why? if we were in love why whould he keep it a secret? and why does he keep talking like he made a mistake that was worth lying about? what happened? I couldn't help but read more.
"knowing you remember how much I hurt you and the pain you must have felt when I left. I would spend every second of every day trying to make it up to you. the fear I felt when I thought I lost you never really went away and I don't think it ever will." I put the note down still not processing what I read. Lance and I were in love. I'm angry with him for hiding this from me. I wanted to understand why he did it but I don't see why he though throwing away out whole relationship was better than just talking to me. I open up the other letter expecting another not explaining why he lied but I was wrong.
"when I started loving you It made me realize I have never tryly loved anyone before." I started reading it and realized it wasn't an apoploey it was a love letter. he started listing off things about me he's never told me.
"I fell in love with you because I could see how much you were in love with me." I was taken back agian. to think him and I were ever in a place to write
letters like this makes me all the more angry hes keeping it from me. I want the chance to love him liek we did. I want to be the same man he talks about in this letter.
"I was so focused on myself I ignored how much you sacraficed for me." he wrote. he's wrong. even if I don't remember what happened from what I 've seen these past few days if he put himself first it was for a bigger reason than he let's out. he blames himself and I wish I could remember what I said to him. if I tried to convince him he was wrong or did I just let him go? it got me thinking did I ever read this before?
"leaving you was the biggest mistake I had ever made...some days I even question if I would be alive if you weren't by my side all there years...if by some miracle I find myself back in your life I promise to work on myself in order to give you the absloute best of me. I will always love you five ever" the more I read the more confused I am. hes broken. he truely is sorry about what he did so why wouldn't he just tell me. I choaked back tears. For a moment I started having flashes of who I was before. It was all lance. I remember crushing on his before we ever dated. I remember falling in love with him and growing up with him. I don't really remember who he feels so much guilt and thinks he needs to turn me away. I go back to read more when lance walks into the room.
