*LANCES POV*
Since Keith left yesterday we haven't talked to one another. It's not like we've been ignoring one another we've just been on two very separate paths since then. I tried ignoring it and getting back to my day but there is always something that comes to mind. What if I never said any of it. What if he had reacted different. I keep rethinking how it could have gone better for us. I don't attempt to talk to him I feel like that would be the worst idea right now. Pretty soon we're gonna have to see one another and when that time comes o don't plan on staying quiet. Or at least that's what I plan on doing I know deep down I don't know what to say to fix it.
~later that night~
When I was walking back to my room I crossed paths with Keith. Like I predicted I didn't say anything. We made eye contact and he immediately looked away from me. Once he walked past me I stopped and turned around. I waited for him to do the same running by all the things I could say but didn't. He walked out of sight without looking back to me. I accepted it and went to my room. For a while I paced the floor debating just going up to him or acting like I don't care or accident running into him again. Nothing felt right. I build up enough courage to look for him and as soon as my door opened I ran into Keith on the other side. I was surprised and took a step back but he was ready.
"You can't just do that. You can't call me your true love after everything you did. Did you think for a second what that does to me? I moved on lance I tried so hard to move on and for what? So you could tease me with what we could have been?" He says. Clearly he could come up with something to say.
"I'm not teasing you Keith. It's true and I'm not even going to try to apologize for all that I've done because I wouldn't even know where to start. I get I shouldn't have said it but I'm glad I did." I say. I wasn't planning on being angry with him but the height of the moment got to me.
"I'm not mad because you left lance. I forgave you already I'm mad because I still dream about you. I feel your touch sometimes when I'm asleep. I hear your stupid laugh every time I'm alone. You don't understand how much I miss being with you. But you come back the second I start having feelings for someone else." He says admitting his feeling for another. Hearing him talk about all the ways he missed me almost gave me hope.
"What are you trying to say Keith?" I ask knowing what I wish he's saying.
"I miss you stupid. And hearing you call me your true love made me start to miss us too." He calms his voice.
"Why are you so angry then? If you miss me so much take me back.please" I say almost begging him to be mine again.
"Lance-" is starts to say but I cut him off.
*KEITHS POV*
He cut me off.
"I know I have the worst timing and I hate to make you choose but I can't just let you fall in love with someone else. Do you want me...or him?" He asks making me choose.
"You have no right telling me I can't fall in love with him. I let you go and fall in love with someone else and I didn't stop you." I say defending myself knowing I was giving in to the fire in my heart.
"That's exactly what I mean Keith. No matter how intense the butterflies feel no matter what future you see with him it's never going to meet your expectations." He warns me.
"Just because it happened to you doesn't mean it will happen to me" I say defensive.
"do you want me back or not?" He asks cutting off our argument.
"What if we're just not meant to be together lance? What if being back together is just gonna mess us up more?" I ask. He looks at me for a while until I can see a lightbulb turn on in his mind.
"Come here" he says walking me to his side table. He opens the drawer and digs under a pile of random ideas until he come across a few photos bound to one another. He pulls it out and give it to me.
"What's this?" I ask as I look through I'll photos of us together. Photos I didn't even know he'd taken.
"They believed they were meant to be together." He says pointing at a photo of us. I couldn't help but smile. The photos captured moments that were the prime of who we were. Carelessly in love. Our only worry was waking up at the same time and trying to impress each other daily. As I stare at the photos I imagine a life with Benjamin. I know exactly what lance is doing. He's trying to pull up every good memory between us to distract me from all the pain he has caused. I miss him and I love him but he left. He forgot these moments and acted as if they never happened until it was his feelings on the line.
"I'm sorry lance. I miss how happy we were but I know we can't be the same anymore. I won't deny my feelings for Benjamin and I can't help but wonder if we could be like this." I say pointing at the photos.
"But that's us. We can be like that again if you just pick me. I need you Keith please." He begs. For a moment I wonder if I'm making the right decision. Before lance I was a simple guy with not much going for him. Now that lance has changed who I am it's hard trying to hide it. I want to feel free again and I know I can with Benjamin.
"I'll love you forever but I can't do this. We have to stop and think realistically for once. We're no good for each other and if you love me too you'll understand why I can't go through with this." I say. I know it's gonna break him to hear. His eyes started to tear up to the words. I however don't feel like crying. I've done it enough to know how it ends between us. He doesn't say anything in return.
"Are you okay?" I ask when the silence gets too long.
"Yah. I get it. Can you go? Please?" He asks. I could tell he wasn't sure how to feel. He thinks he's losing me forever but I can't keep blaming myself for the problems he brings. It hurts seeing him like this but I can't let him in again. I finally have a chance to see who I am without him and I'm excited. It doesn't make leaving him any easier.
*LANCES POV*
If you would have told me a couple years ago that I would be crying over Keith liking someone else I would have called you crazy. What's truly crazy is how much he and I have changed in those years. How much love can change someone. I guess I deserve this and no matter how many times I try to convince myself it was justified I can't seem to believe it. I broke us by leaving and destroying everything we had going. And now I'm paying the price. He's moving on. I keep trying to stop myself from blaming him when I did the exact same things. It's hard to be mad at him for finally moving on when I did the same thing way too soon. He's right we have to think realistically and by that I know the next few weeks are going to be hell. Who knows may even be months. Because I know I lost the absolute best thing that has ever happened to me and it's my fault. He's going to fall in live with someone else. They are going to make him happy and make him laugh the way I used to. They are going to take my place in his arms and in his bed. Starting to wonder if leaving again like I did before was a good idea. I could run away before I watch him fall in love again. For a while I thought it was the best idea but if Keith doesn't find what he's looking for there's still a chance I'm good enough.
