⚠️ warning ⚠️ this chapter contains sensitive topics like death and suicide. Please if you feel unsure about reading this skip the chapter. If you feel suicidal or know someone who is please call a hotline or talk to someone you trust.
*Lance dreaming*
We got a call this morning saying the mission was complete. When I heard that keith was coming home my heart sunk. I spent the past 9 months believeing I would never see him again but now...now that's all changed. I didn't let myself really take it in untill I got to my room. The rest of the group doesn't know we switched jackets and his is what I needed right now. I threw it on knowing I get to hold and feel the real him soon. I felt my face turn red from excitement. I'm ready for him to run to me most importantly I'm ready to hold him again. I paced the floor wondering what to do. He should be here any minute now. I leave the room making my way outside where the ship sound drop him off. I fidget with my hands and the rest of the group meets me. They all looked exited but not as much as me. I tried to hide it then I realized I still had his jacket on. They kept looking back at me but once I tell him how I feel it won't matter what they think. My hear sinks when the ship appeared over us. When it landed the rest of the group ran ahead but I stayed back. The ship doors opened but Keith wasn't there. One of the blade members came and spoke to Allura. He spoke softly until allura covered her mouth with her hand. He placed his hand on her shoulder and she cried. I didn't allow myself to believe it. She walked to the group and in seconds they start crying too. I could see there lips moving but I couldn't hear anything. They all looked at me with tears in their eyes. I shook my heads in disbelief. I could feel my eyes filling up and I clenched onto his jacket. Why isn't he back? He can't be dead he need to come back to me. He promised me. I could feel my legs again only to run away. I ran so fast I though I could make him come back. The tears fell faster than I did. I smashed into the wall hitting the floor in one big pile. I cried out loud barely breathing. I wanted to believe It was just a joke that we was really home. He's really dead and I can even remember what the last thing I said to him was. Was he wearing my jacket when he died? I cry harder thinking if he was in pain or not. My whole body hurts like I lost a part of me. I did lose a part of me and it was the best one. What am I gonna do without him. I can just keep going. He's...he was the only reason I was happy. I try thinking about my life before him and it's all just a blur. Everything about him gave my life purpose. Without him there's is no reason to be alive. I don't want to be alive. I could shoot my self on accident or give myself up to the galra. I force myself up, running to my lion knowing I need to see him again. I turn the corner only to be stoped by a wall of people. The team stood in front of me red in the face. There eyes were full of pity but they wouldn't know. They never loved him like I loved him. He did it even know it. I never got to say it out loud. I start crying again even though I never stoped. One by one they hug me until we were one group hug.I didn't like it and I wish they hadn't. I wanted to hug Keith I want to hold Keith. I wanted to tell him I loved him.
"We're all very sad about Keith but we have to move on" allura says to me. I pull away "I can't just move on. Keith is ...Keith was the only person that made me feel important. He made me believe that love was made for us. I can't move on because I never want to stop making memories with him. If that means finding him on the other side then I will do everything I can just to see him again." I cry with anger in my voice. "You don't understand how hard it is to love someone who shares all there secrets and memories with you and some say that all stops." I add. There faces went cold but I felt nothing. I couldn't feel anything. My body went num. I walked away from the group stone cold. I pass my room making it straight to his. I throw myself into the bed thinking of the nights we spent here. I laughed. I laughed at the memories we made on this bed. It didn't last long. I closed my eyes hoping to hear his voices once again
"One of your hugs would be real nice right now" I say to myself hoping he would hear it.
"Why did you have to leave me. We had such a good life. I wish you had stayed long enough for me to say goodbye. I regret everything I've done to you and everything I wish I had done. I want to open my eyes and see you and hold you. I miss having you here. We promised nothing could get between us. It's funny no matter how much I prepared for this news I never expected it to be true. I guess deep down I believe you were still with me. I hope your happy. I hope it's everything you wished for. Just promise me you won't forget me. It will be impossible to forget you. I have so much more I wish I could tell you but I will see you soon. Till we meet again. I love you." I say before pulling the trigger. The echo of the gun fills the room and the light takes over.
