Eternal Loneliness 💯

Chapter 15

Shahrukh's words echoed in my head ... 2 years ... How was that going to work? How could I even think about it? We just got together. How was it possible? I turned because I didn't want to show him my tears. I was disappointed. I expected him to get involved in his thoughts. But he closed me completely.

»Kajol? «

I felt his hand gently on my shoulder. But I couldn't and didn't want to answer him. He turned me gently toward him and lifted my face a little.

»Kajol, this is a great opportunity for me. It is a project with children. Please, understand me. It's something new and I really want to do it. «

I listened to what he had told me, but I did not understand. It was boiling. How could I get behind his career? And what else did he want to achieve? He was already the great world star.

»Kajol, please understand me. My children are there. I could see they every day. I would come to Mumbai and return. We would never be separated for a long time. I would never do this project without your consent. I need you in my life. I'm no one without you. I do not want to lose you ...«

Did I just listen well? Wouldn't he do anything without my approval?

» NO! I want you to stay here! «

I was surprised by my answer. I didn't want to look like a stubborn child. But the moment of my life had also become selfish. I had sacrificed too much for others. Now it was my turn. Shahrukh looked at me in amazement ...

»Kajol, don't you think you're reacting a little strong? It is just a project and would not be out of the world. Why are you doing a drama now? «

His words hit me. It was not his words but the way he said them. Was I doing a drama? I took two steps back without taking my eyes off him. My tears disappeared and my eyes changed.

» Are you serious? Am I doing a drama? When did you really want to tell me about your decision? Or would I only have found out if you had already left? I don't have to ask you anything here. We are two adults who have a life. I have lived before you and, as it seems, I will also live for later. If you expected me to beg you to stay, you are wrong. «

With each spoken word my strength grew. The walls I had laid to finally let Shahrukh in my heart were stronger than ever. I would not allow myself to put my life back in the hands of others.

»Kajol, it's impossible to talk to you like that. I think it's better to take you home now and we'll talk about it in peace tomorrow. «

Shahrukh carefully took my arm to take me back to the car, but I jerked away and looked at him.

»You don't have to take me anywhere. I will leave alone. And the subject this term for me. You made your decision in which I did not play any role. With that you showed me what role I play in your life.«

Shahrukh now looked at me angry.

»Damn Kajol ... why do you have to react exactly like that? I explained everything. Why do you have to break this way and make me a scene like this? Why do you react so stubbornly?«

Angry and hurt, I turned around and left. How could he have come so far? I had put everything in a card and lost. Life had shown me once again that there was nothing worth fighting for. Not even for a soulmate.

Days went by and I had tried to contact Kajol several times. I didn't want to leave the situation like that. She was my life. I did not want and could not make this decision in this way. But I had tried everything, but Kajol blocked all contact attempts. I missed her so much. My heart was broken just thinking about her. I saw her face everywhere and heard her voice, but on the other hand there was this offer. An opportunity I had been waiting for a long time. An opportunity I wanted to take.

I took my phone and dialed her number again ... After several tones, the connection was cut. I looked at the screen and saw our picture ... tears formed in my eyes. I took a big tug of my cigarette and chose again ...

»Ji, yes, it's me. I thought about it ... I will. Please talk everything else with Pooja. She will contact you in the next few days. «

I ended the call without waiting for an answer. Tears slid down my cheek. I knew that with this decision I would lose everything. But it was my great opportunity for which I would give everything.

I hadn't left the house in days. I had tried to find my own life again. I didn't want to talk to anyone and not see anyone. I knew and felt that Shahrukh would make his decision like that. It broke my heart to be at the crossroads of life and see that it was just me again. I did not regret my life. I had always made my decisions from the heart and lived them with all the consequences. This time I would still get up and look at myself in the mirror with a clear conscience. But this time I had promised me ... Never and for no one would I throw away these walls that looked after my heart. I didn't need anyone in my life. I had my children ... They were my rock in surfing, the only thing that made sense in my life.

I packed my bags and grabbed my son. A few days with my daughter would help me change air. I left Mumbai with my son and a broken heart.

»Ji!«

I heard a soft drink ...

»He accepts the proposal. I just wanted to tell you. «

A slight smile formed on my face when I heard the news. I got it. My plan had worked, and Mr. Khan had no fucking idea who was behind everything.

» Thank you. Then I will do everything else. Comply with the plan. I will give you more instructions when the time comes. «

I hung up and took a few steps towards the window. Everything had turned out as planned. Raindrops flowed down the large panel while two delicate hands snuggled around my waist.

I closed my eyes and silently enjoyed the moment of my triumph. Tender kisses on my back woke me from my thoughts. I turned around and kissed her forehead tenderly.

»Mhhhh, can you wake me like this every morning? «

»Ileana, like this ... and much more ...! «

After sowing love and collecting disappointment ... you must recognize the time and just listen to yourself.