Pain love same game

Sermon

Today has changed a lot for me it went from depressed to an amazing day in a matter of seconds. 

Me and Jacob were sitting in the back of the car, I looked over at the time. The sermon was almost over, so we decided to make are way over there to apologize to Joseph about not being able to make it. When we got there the church door opened and people started walking out. 

As we pulled up, we parked the truck and got out at the same time. The peggies were looking at us, especially me, in discussed; but they knew if they looked at Jacob like that they would be gutted alive. 

Jacob decided to ask in on his own while I went to talk to faith. " So where were you two, and I thought your mom made you guys break up with each other" Me and faith kind of had a bad bond, I really didn't care for her ditziness so we never really had a conversation. I wasn't listening to her though, I was to busy paying attention to something else. There was the person I didn't want to see ever again, my mother. 

She was just there talking to John. I wanted to go up to her and say something, but I knew if I did something bad would end up happening. And I didn't Joseph even more mad at me. 

I still didn't understand what the problem is with me being with him, she should only care that he makes me happy. Everybody else Is fine with him and I.

 I believe he's meant to be mine, and we have grown so much ever since we got together. I'm not as depressed anymore, he makes me whole again, brings back something I have't had in a long time, the ability to love someone. 

But maybe my mom is trying to tell me something, Jacob has been pushing me lately to have sex again with him, I did like it. I think that's a very guy thing to do, right after you have sex with someone you just need more of it. I don't know. 

Maybe he's using me, I want to get married one day and have kids but since he's a lot older than me, what is he doesn't kids or to get married. I think I'm just being paranoid. 

"Ash, you ok you don't look so good, you've gone a bit pale" And in a matter of seconds there is was throwing up. "Jacob, come here somethings wrong with Ashley".

 After I finished throwing up to see my mom disappointed, maybe thinking I'm pregnant. And Jacob and Joseph came running out of the church with Joseph by his side. I started to get dizzy and felt myself staring to fall but Jacob caught me before I fell on the ground, I looked up to see Jacob looking at me with a worried face, then I blacked out after that.

Next thing I know I wake up in a room more like and office. I think I'm at the veteran center, the place Jacob talked about a lot in his spare time with me. I hung both my legs off the side of the small bed, and looked down at my hands staring to feel the sickness coming back up the back of my throat. There's a bucket to the right of the bed I go to pick it up, and start to throw up a bit more. But try and stop myself before Jacob walks in and see's me throwing up again. 

I feel embarrassed  for creating this whole problem. " Hi " Jacob sits down in a chair across from me, "Do you still feel sick" Nodding my head yes. "Do you think you're.....You know...Um pregnant" Shaking my head no. "Oh, then what do you think it is" "It's just my anxiety I think, I used to get it a lot around people, but I learned how to just choke it up and deal with it. Think my anxiety was really going off since I saw my mom there today at church" 

"Are you fine if if I go back to work" nodding my head yes. I really want to look around this place to get a good idea what Jacob actually does. "Ok I'm gonna be down stairs make sure you stay up here ok" He walked out of the room, I waited a good five minutes before I decided to get up and look around this office of his. I walked over to a big desk that had a lot of papers and maps on it. I looked at it there were picture of two people on his desk, one was a 30 year old women on the back of it had a name, Tammy. And the other one was of a guy that looked kind of like the peggies. On the back of his picture said trader and Eli. Also a place called wolf's den. I move over to the huge map on the wall that had a lot of strings and circles around place around Whitetail. I then took a look at a bunch of radios and turned it on to see if anything was going on, I tuned into radio signal and I heard people talking a scruffy sounding voice and a women that sounded too in her thirties. They talked about a location the same place that was written on the back of Eli's picture, I marked it on the map with a pin. I was in my own mind the whole time I didn't notice Jacob walked in. "what are you doing". I turned around, "Oh I was just looking around" the radio went of again with some people talking, "You should know better than to go through my stuff" 

" Jacob, what's the wolf's den, I saw it on the back of this person's picture and some man and women talking about the location on the radio. I also added it to your map, they are also talking about coming here as well. Who are they, they were talking about attacking a place too" after that Jacob's angry turned to a smirk. " Um, Jacob are you o " before I could finish my sentence there were gunshots, and in a matter of seconds I was being shoved in the back of a car with a gun to my head"

"Jacob, help me"