Am I in Stile? - Stiles Silinski (Book One)

Chapter 1

She couldn't breathe; her palms were sweaty, her entire body was shaking and her chest felt like it was about cave in. Her hands connected with her bathroom sink and she attempted to steady herself. Her vision started to fail as her reflection became more and more unrecognizable. Short breaths was all she could manage as her back slid down the bathroom wall. She refused to cry, nobody could ever see her as weak. When her body regained its ability to stabilize she pushed herself of the floor, splashed some cold water on her face and rejoined her family in the parking lot. "You ready to continue?" her grandfather asked. He was a large, (some would say terrifying gentleman) who could stare into your soul if you let him close enough. Maggie simply nodded her head and entered the black car. The racing thoughts inside her head were tripping over themselves as they took it in turns to mock her.

You should have been there.

You could have saved her.

You're a disgrace the family name!

Before she knew it her hands were covering her ears trying to stop the voices from silently screaming at her. Her eyes were clamped shut and she began humming, attempting to drown out the agony inside of her head. This was the last time she would let this happen. She took a deep breath before removing her hands and staring at the rest directly in front of her. Her 'family' entered the car before resuming the never ending ride. She rested her head on the window and closed of her mind as rain began to fall.

As they pulled up into the cemetery Maggie placed her hand on the window of her vehicle, as if to hopefully feel closer to the people that were eventually going to surround her. She hadn't been here since she was a little kid. Nothing seemed familiar, it was like she's forgotten her entire childhood. She inhaled a shaky breath before taking a step onto the morbid green grass beneath her. The grounds were covered with new reporters, every flash was like a bullet to the head. Question after question was thrown at her as she made her way trough the ever growing crowd.

"This looks expensive!" Her grandpa smirked at a young boy crouched on the ground. He seemed to be taking pictures of the coffin.

"Yeah, 900 bucks"

"And what about this?" He asked as he retrieved the memory card from the black camera. He smirked at the boy as he crushed it in his hands and dropped the remains on the floor. The boy scowled at him before storming away from the scene. Her grandpa walked closer to the seats that stood a meter away from the coffin in front. Maggie followed behind, dreading watching the coffin be lowered into the ground.

"Christopher" he finally spoke.

"Gerard" her uncle stated before turning his attention to Maggie "well, you've certainly grown" She smiled at him before hugging her cousin who sat empty in the seat beside her.

"Do you remember me?" Gerard asked Allison who stared at him blankly. "Considering I haven't seen you since you were three I don't supposed I could assume you'd call me grandpa. So if it's comfortable call me Gerard for the time being. But I'd prefer grandpa"

Maggie shifted in her seat as her grandfather lowered down beside her. People were still attempted to take pictures from a distance as the funeral began. She sighed before putting her hands in her lap and fiddling with her fingers, anything to distract her from this, of course not many people are going to pay their respects at the funeral of a mass murderer but her mother did teach her a few things; respect was definitely one of them. she tugged at the hem of her dress before placing a small rose on the top of her oak coffin that lay before her, she refused to let any tears form as her shaky hand returned to her side. Her seat had grown cold over the few seconds that she was absent. She reluctantly sat back down as they lowered the wooden box into the ground. she whispered a final goodbye as everyone turned their backs on the grave of their loved one.