Til Debt Do Us Part

023

Our school hosts an annual event of alumni homecoming where every batch is encouraged to attend, but as if that was not enough as an opportunity to see each other yearly, our high school classmates had organized a gathering exclusively for our batch. They had insisted that a simple dinner would not suffice to catch up with each other. Fortunately, our school was relatively small – so there was only around a hundred people per batch, but a hundred people in this party is three-times the number of people who attended Yeri's wedding. Moreover, it was easier to go unnoticed and unharmed with a yearly homecoming dinner than and this get-together for our batch where we're expected to enthusiastically socialize with each other. 

"Hey, Dahyun!" Gayeon, one of the most sociable people I know, welcomed me. She gave me a brief hug which I gave back. We might not be close, but I knew that Gayeon is genuinely warm.

At least I have someone I can be comfortable with for tonight.

"Where's Sooyoung?" she asked.

"Busy," I automatically answered.

"Oh. That's a shame," Gayeon frowned, but then, she immediately replaced it with a smile as she guided me to her table, "But look. We still got a chair for you."

"Thank you," I said, and I immediately caught the attention of the people in the table, who, with as much as enthusiasm as Gayeon, started greeting me as well.

I was going through the usual 'how are you' questions when their attention shifted to another person which Gayeon had dragged to the table.

I should not have been surprised that it turned out to be Jungkook.

I saw how Gayeon almost muttered a silent curse when she realized that the chair she was about to give to Jungkook was the chair beside mine and I also saw how some people exchanged knowing looks.

"I'll just get another chair," Jungkook declared, "Perhaps Dahyun's waiting for Jimin."

"Jimin?" some of them quizzically said.

"Jimin, my boyfriend," I answered, and I saw how some mouths formed an 'o' shape, "But no. I am afraid he's not coming for tonight."

"So Jungkook can take this chair?" Gayeon asked, carefully gauging me.

But I was determined to prove a lot of things tonight.

"Of course, he can take the seat," I momentarily glanced at Jungkook before giving a timid smile.

"Thanks," Jungkook mumbled as he sat beside me.

Dinner went by smoother than I expected, as it was Jungkook who had become the star of the night due to his recent abroad experience. Jungkook was gleefully entertaining them as well, and I don't know how he does it, but he could tell stories about himself and his achievements without sounding so boastful.

Instead, he sounded so happy.

I found myself smiling for him; knowing all his struggles, I can't help but still be proud of his growth and his success.

But somehow, there was also bitter feeling that swelled within me.

Because apparently, the best part of Jungkook's life was the part where I was excluded from his narrative.

Suddenly, as Jungkook was speaking, he took the mushroms in my plate which I segregated in one corner and transferred it to his plate, as if it was the most natural thing to do in the world. I stared at him, trying to find any clue whether he was mocking me, but he carried on with his stories as if nothing happened.

"How about you, Dahyun? How's work?"

I was awakened from my daze by the question thrown at me.

I didn't know that my turn would come this soon. I was not informed that we were we having each other's turn to share stories clock-wise.

I should have chosen a seat far from Jungkook's.

My ex's success stories would make me more miserable than I already am.

"Still the same," I shrugged, with an awkward beam, hoping that I could gloss over the question with just simple smile. But they continued staring at me, so I added, "I'm still stuck with the same work for BuzzFeed."

They looked at me as if they were urging me to continue but I have nothing left to say. My life is as boring as my sentences.

To my surprise, Jungkook spoke, "But recently, I saw another article written by Dahyun go viral. I think it's about the most profitable home-based businesses."

I snapped my gaze towards Jungkook. That was an article I wrote two months ago.

"You know, it speaks about how online platforms like Lazada or Shoppee or even social networking sites like Instagram or Facebook could help people run businesses from their home," Jungkook continued speaking, "Dahyun even gave some examples of those success stories of people who make some personalized materials and sell it online."

He looked at me, and like a cue we both knew, I steered the conversation from where he left.

I got some affirmative nods and curious questions, and before I knew it, my turn of sharing my life was already done. I felt like a heavy burden was lifted off my chest. Jungkook was right as well – it was not as scary as I thought it would be.

Soon, like a requirement for every program, a slideshow of pictures was flashed on the screen, together with a melodramatic song. Indeed, the pictures made everything felt nostalgic. I found myself back to that sixteen-year old me who thought high school was everything.

I beamed, thinking of how competitive I was back then. But now, I finally understand why grades are just numbers. Well, they do matter to qualify for colleges. However, in the end, it's still our personalities and our experiences which shaped us for who we are. They are still the best weapons we have in this life.

As the pictures turned numerous, I also started noticing how in every photo that I was in, Jungkook was also there.

My smile then turned bittersweet.

We used to be inseparable. We used to know each other like the back of our hands. We used to treasure all great adventures together. But now, I can only talk about him in the past tense.

When Jungkook and I broke up, it was not only a lover that I have lost.

I also lost my best friend.

I stared at the screen but my attention was no longer in the photo slideshow. I was just conscious of how close Jungkook was beside me, but how far we've grown apart.