Til Debt Do Us Part

024

When the slideshow ended, it only took a few minutes before people started excusing themselves, reasoning that they have to leave for work tomorrow morning. I also took that opportunity to escape and bid farewell to everyone at the table.

I merely stood in front of the restaurant, trying to hail a cab or book for a Grab but to no avail. Soon, more and more people were exiting the venue and I gave brief goodbyes here and there, until the person whom I couldn't say goodbye to before was in front of me once again.

"Can't find a ride?" Jungkook asked and I just shook my head, showing that I could not book a car. He continued, "That figures. People inside are also booking their rides. You've got a tough competition to beat."

"Maybe I should go back inside then," I replied, trying to bail my way out of the conversation.

"You could go with me if you want; we're neighbors, anyway," Jungkook beamed.

But sensing my hesitation in accepting his invitation, he added, "But only if you're comfortable, of course."

I said yes.

Maybe I was trying to push my limits – trying to test how strong I am.

After all, I was doing a pretty good job tonight that even Jungkook could not tell that a part of me was already hurting from the wounds which I thought were already healed.

His car was new but the way he still used the same air freshener and the way he automatically turned on the radio made everything felt familiar.

Jungkook was making it feel like we're still everything we used to be.

"Where's Yuju?" I dared to ask for the first time that night, for I needed some dose of truth and reality, "Not fond of reunions?"

"Uhm," he mumbled, as if he was trying to start a sentence he had no idea how to tell. He took a deep breath before saying, "We broke up."

"Oh," I merely exclaimed, "Sorry."

He was lucky that nobody delved into the subject of his love life this night or perhaps everyone avoided it since I was around.

"You don't have to be," Jungkook replied.

At first, the ride was quiet with Jungkook humming through the songs in his playlist. I know he understood that I had grown tired of talking with the amount of conversations that I had delved into that night.

"You could sleep if you want to," he told me, "I'd just wake you up."

I shook my head no, "You'd get sleepy too if I do that; that's dangerous for someone who's driving."

The corner of his lips curved into a smile and he let a few seconds pass by before saying, "So how's the reunion?"

"You talk as if you were not there," I faked a complaint.

"You dreaded to be in there," he retorted.

Of course, he knew.

I replied, "I was just scared that I would not meet their expectations of what I had become."

"You don't need to shape yourself into other's expectations of you," Jungkook answered.

I looked at him. Jungkook always had the words I wanted to hear.

"But everyone's so successful and... happy," I whispered the last word.

"Reunions are not competitions; they are just a chance to catch up so there's really no need to compare," he exclaimed, "Besides, success and happiness are subjective and relative."

"I still feel like people are watching me," I confessed.

"Then, don't mind them," he told me, "You don't have to be burdened of other's perception of you. You're wonderful as you are, Dahyun."

You are wonderful as you are.

I repeated his words over and over again in my head.

But it was hard to believe them when they came from the man who had left me.

Then, I could not stop myself from posting the question I had always wanted to ask Jungkook.

"Do you regret it?"

"Hm?" he creased his brows, confused.

"Do you regret it?"

I repeated just the same words, but Jungkook understood without me elaborating what 'it' referred to. Honestly, I was also not sure of what I am pertaining to. I was indeed asking about the fact that he had a relationship with me, but I did not know what 'it' specifically referred to.

Perhaps I was pertaining to the way we started it all, in the manner that we gambled our friendship. Perhaps I was pertaining to the way we let everything fall apart in the end, despite years of building trust.

Maybe something in between those points. Or maybe just everything.

"No. I don't regret it," he answered, and a genuine smile played on his lips as he expounded, "It was a wonderful experience after all – being loved by you."

But why?

Why did you stop loving me?

Why did you grow tired of reciprocating my love?

I could feel that my eyes were starting to sting, as my heart was being swallowed by the same pain that destroyed me two years ago.

As the traffic light turned red, I unbuckled my seatbelt and opened the car's door.

"Dahyun?" I could hear the panic in Jungkook's voice, "Is something wrong?"

"It's not your fault," I assured him with a smile I tried hard to muster.

It's not his fault that it is only now that I realized that I haven't made any progress on forgetting the love that I had for him or the pain that he had given me.

It's not his fault that time failed to heal all my wounds.

"I'd be fine. Don't worry," I told him, "Please don't go after me."

I would be fine – I've made the same promise to myself for years.

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AN: Isn't anyone enjoying the little doses of dahkook in this fic? I think they are cute though??? Haha. Thanks for reading guys! Please do comment. And I am overwhelmed that there are really many votes per chapter. I hope you are truly enjoying. ❤️