====
D: Can I kill him?
W:No
D: Why not?
W: He’s immortal
D: So you’re saying that I get to kill him more than once?
====
W: You’re speeding!
D: I acknowledged the sign’s recommendation
W: You’re going 30 miles over!
====
W: Please stop getting shot
W: It stresses me out
D: Oh, well if YOU don’t like it
====
W: Not to be the bearer of bad news
W: But don’t you realize that this is insane?
====
D: I think i’m having a feeling
D: How do I make it stop?
====
D: I don’t like saying I told you so
D: But
W: The hell you don’t, it's your favourite phrase
====
D:Why are you blowing up your house?
W: It seemed like a good idea at the time
====
W: What's your grandma like
D: She's old and it's about damn time she died
W: That's a horrible thing to say!
D: You wouldn't say that if you knew her
====
D: You always think that you know what you'd do when faced with the end of the world
D: Me?
D: I went home and took a nap
====
W: Are you SURE I can't punch him in the face?
D: Yes
W: What if I just break his nose a little?
====
W: We have a crisis
D: We can't have a crisis
D: My schedule is already full
====
W: What the heck is that?!
D: My cat
R: Cats don't have eight legs!
====
W: Is that blood?
D: No?
W: That's not a question you're supposed to answer with another question
====
D: How long have you been standing there?
W: Longer than you'd like
====
D: It's a long story
W: You conned me into thinking you were dead for eleven months
W: I have time
====
W: Hold on
W: You died?
D: Yeah well, it didn't stick
====
W: No, I'm not buying you a knife for your birthday!
D: But it pretty!
W: No!
====
D: Have you ever loved someone so much you actually ached?
D: It sucks
D: Especially when it's someone you used to hate
W: Hey!
D: I said 'used to', didn't I?
====
W: What is it called when you kill a friend?
W: Homiecide
D: Murder
W: Homiecide
====
D: My friend went away for ten days so I decided it would be the perfect time to wrap everything she owns in aluminium foil
W: Why?
D: In the future everything is chrome
====
W: My laptop wasn't working so I yelled 'CRISTO' at it
W: The screen immediately turned black
D: Wow
W: I'm performing an exorcism now
W: [picture]
D: Is that silly string?
W: It's not silly string if it's a very serious matter
D: Serious string
====
D: I'm watching a sports
D: The sports did good
W: Did the ball go
D: Fuck dude it sure did
====
D: My grandma got all A's in "Etiquette"
D: Yes, that was an actual class in her high school Wally
D: And she told me, "Dear," She said
D: "You never cross your legs, you cross your ankles. But the great thing about you living in this generation is you don't have to follow my generation's rules. Sit the way you want. If someone looks up your skirt, just tell them your Aunt Mary will kill them"
D: Which is true
D: My Aunt Mary had a switchblade in a special pocket of her nightgown until the day she died
D: The moral of this story is
D: 1. Sit the way you want
D: 2. My great Aunt Mary was a fucking badass
W: Dude
D: Also fuck "lady's rules"
====
D: If someone was covered in paper cuts and you threw them into a pool of lemon juice
D: How long do you think it would take them to die
W: What circle of dante's inferno did you crawl out of
D: What if you rolled their body in salt first
W: Easy there, satan
D: Margarita of pain
====
D: I DROPPED A GLASS BOTTLE OF KETCHUP AND SCREAMED IN SHOCK AND THAN TIM CAME IN AND THOUGHT IT WAS BLOOD AND SCREAMED TOO AND WE WERE BOTH SCREAMING AT KETCHUP
====
D: I don't understand how people can shower in like five minute, I mean I can go as fast as I can I still have to shampoo my hair and condition my hair and scrub myself and shave and cut myself shaving and use the blood in my summoning of the dark lord than travel to another dimension to ward off my enemies then come back and dry off how do you do that in five minutes
W: 2 in 1 shampoo/conditioner
D: FUCK
D: OF COURSE
====
W: I don't consider myself hip
W: I'm like
W: Shoulder
D: I said this to Bruce and he said "no, you're an ass."
====
W: I'll bet you'd look adorable grasping at the sheets on my bed
D: No matter how many times you compliment me
D: I'm not going to make your bed
====
D: A kid at the park informed me smoking was bad for you, so I popped his balloon with my cigarette, and told him so was talking to strangers
====
W: Do nuns wear bras?
D: No bc God supports everything amen
====
W: Is 3 fingers too much
D: Not at all!
D: Most people have 10 :)
====
D: Had an argument with Bruce
D: Got grounded
D: Jason laughed
D: Took his door
W: Who's door
D: Jason's
W: Why
D: Cuz he laughed
W: Cool
====
W: So after belle and the beast got married they have to buy all new furniture since like half their castle turned into people
D: Beauty and the beast 2: The trip to ikea
====
W: Nothing will fuck you up as much as the realization that theres no reason the alphabet needs to be in order
====
W: Women belong in the kitchen
W: Men belong in the kitchen
W: Everyone belongs in the kitchen
W: Kitchen has food
====
First chapter!
How did it go?
YOU ARE READING
Birds of a Feather Flock Together
FanfictionD- Dick W- Wally R- Roy This book is to give a look into the average conversation of teenage superheros and average rich kid problems (Contains birdflash, swearing, major gay, etc.) If you don't like it than what are you even doing here?
