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R: What do you want from starbucks
D: I'll take a venti latte with nine shots of espresso
R: Jesus Christ, just do cocaine

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W: We're so having this conversation!
W: Come on, dick, tell me, be honest
W: How's my singing?
D: ...It's like ordering a pie and finding out it has no filling

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W: Jellyfish can survive for 600 million years without a brain
D: A ray of hope for you yet

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W: You always see the worst in people
D: Yes, because people are the worst

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W: You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself marry the villain

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D: I wouldn't stand there if I was you on account of I'm radioactive

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W: Let me at least be a tiny bit productive today so I can feel less guilty about myself
D: Absolutely not
D: Consider rotting instead

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D: He was unconscious when I found him

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W: I need nothing but my mad skills, rugged good looks, and maybe half a million dollars

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D: Male?
D: Female? 
D: Oh dear lord no, I identify as a problem
W: This reminds me of that meme where it’s like ‘a book for girls, a book for boys, and a book for tricksters’
W: And you think ‘aaah yes, the three genders: girl, boy, and trouble’

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W: Is your insomnia improving any?
D: Yes
W: Good
D: Sometimes my foot goes to sleep now

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W: Horror story where the central protagonist is both incredibly anxious and absurdly unobservant
W: They feel like they're living in a horror movie but for all the wrong reasons

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D: My life goal, you ask?
D: Become captain of a fully functional old-timey pirate ship and sail it after disney cruises at an ominous distance
D: I project stolen versions of their movies onto my ship’s sails

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D: My opinion is that we should bring back sword duelling but be more explicitly homoerotic about it this time
W: I demand to know how it can get any more homoerotic
D: Your lack of vision concerns and appalls me

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W: God left-clicking me & right-clicking a random gas station in the middle of an interstate over 1400 miles away & I just stand up & exit my house & start jogging at a moderate pace

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D: No Harper, you can't taze him
R: He is clearly deranged and trying to hit people with a pipe
D: He is also clearly in a wheelchair

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D: Why did I wake up handcuffed to a roof?
W: You wouldn't stop back flipping off of lampposts

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R: Fifty bucks says I can make this jump
D: Coward!
D: I'll do it for free!

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W: Dick: how many years do you think having me as a kid has taken off your life?
W: Bruce: the 5th Amendment states I cannot answer that

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D: I had an accident
W: What kind of accident?
D: Horse with a grudge

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D: I've made a list of the top three best and worst things that happened in the 2010's
W: Neat
W: What's on the best list?
D: Gay rights, vine, and Bruce finally learning to text properly
W: And the worst?
D: Politics -no I will not elaborate, vine dying, and those months in 2012 when Roy kept leaving voicemails singing "call me maybe"
R: You never answer your phones!

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W: You have nothing to fear from death, my boy
W: Only the state in which you die
D: *gasps*
D: N e w J e r s e y

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W: What crime did this tree commit to be put in tree jail
D: Treeson
R: Guys
R: Can you please focus on fighting Harley instead of laughing at Ivy for one second

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W: Cap or Iron Man?
R: The Captain has the right idea
R: Policed vigilantism wouldn't work
W: I disagree
W: Iron Man has the right idea
W: Collaboration would be the most beneficial
D: Deadpool
W: That wasn't the--
D: Dead
D: Pool

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D: I love rain
W: Oh?
D: Washes the blood from the streets, yo
W: Oh

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R: Where is he?
D: Who?
R: Robin!
D: Oh
D: Yeah
D: I tossed him at a motorcyclist who was getting away from the bank
R: Why?
D: He had a duffel full of cash??
R: No
R: Why did you throw Jason at him?
D: Ah!
D: Well, um, I was out of batarangs and he was right there
D: So
R: So you threw your brother
D: Little brothers make great projectiles, honestly

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W: Did you seriously not have any Christmas music in the circus?
D: Of course not
W: Did you celebrate any holidays at all...?
D: Do birthdays count?
W: Were sharp things involved?
D: Yes?
W: Then no, they don't

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W: You could have died :(
D: …
D: … Wally
D: I did die

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D: Did you just call me pretty?
W: I was trying to insult you
D: By... calling me pretty?
W: Okay
W: Maybe I didn't think this through

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R: I feel like you only speak Spanish around me because you know I'm really bad at Spanish
D: Es la verdad!
D: *claps sarcastically*
R: ... What do you have against me?

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W: Violence is not the answer
D: Violence is totally the answer
R: Violence is sometimes the answer
D: Violence is the question to which my fist is the answer

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W: Zombies are horrible D:
D: I like to think I turned out okay

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D: You're not a morning person, are you?
W: No
W: We do the vigilante thing every night, for god's sake!
W: Are you Satan?

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W: Funny how 'pretty boy in the leotard' actually told them exactly who I was looking for
D: You think I'm pretty?
W: Nowhere was it said that I thought you were pretty

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R: I forgive you for being a Dick
D: Jackass
R: You know what?
R: I take it back

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