====
D: I had a nightmare last night and when I woke up and realized how reality is, I wanted to go back to my nightmare
====
W: It doesn't make sense!
D: Yes it does, you oaf!
W: No it doesn't! It's stupid and nonsensical!
D: Oh, look who can recognise stupid and nonsensical without a mirror…
====
D: Look at the bright side
W: Oh! Does that exist?
W: Because I don't think there's anything good about being locked up in Wayne Manor with your family
D: No, I don't think there's one either
D: I was hoping you would've seen it and told me
====
D: Channeling my depression into pure unadulterated rage and bloodlust
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D: hat a great nap, I feel totally disoriented and i’m frothing with hate
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D: We as a species really fucked up when we stopped growing fangs
D: “Once we learned how to hunt and defend ourselves with weapons we didn’t need them anymore”
D: As if looking sexy as hell wasn’t a good enough reason to keep them on its own?
D: Weird flex but okay
====
D: Doctor roomba seems a little moody today
W: I thought I told you not to name them
R: Don't say that in front of our children
====
D: I’m going to bite your ass into 11 sections
W: This is the most powerful text I’ve ever received and I cannot stop thinking about it
====
W: Wait, whose side are you on again?
D: At the moment?
====
W: I’m not going out with you
D: :( Why not
W: because You’re evil
D: So?
W: You know what, good point
====
R: Dick is the kind of person who would be accused for theft and then say there was no way he could have done it because he has proof that he was committing murder at the same time instead
====
D: Harley: excuse me, I am in fact religious
D: Bruce: how can you when you do these atrocities? What would your god say?
D: Harley: Oh she yells at me about it. It’s our foreplay
====
D: SAY YOU'RE SORRY!
W: I'm sorry!
D: And WHAT you sorry FOR?!
W: FOR SAYING YOU'RE AGGRESSIVE!
====
W: I know you think my judgement is clouded because I like him a little bit.
R: You doodled your wedding invitation
W: No, that's our joint tombstone
R: My mistake
====
D: Did it hurt when you fell?
W: From heaven or in love with you?
D: ...Down the basement stairs
W: Oh, right, that!
====
W: Getting bullied in high school is still no excuse for being a criminal
W: Take Dick, he got bullied his whole time at high school. He's not a criminal
R: Um…
R: Yeah he is
W: Not a BAD criminal
D: What makes you think I was bullied in high school?
====
D: As Lady Macbeth once said, “don’t be a pussy, it’s just murder.”
====
W: I think I’ll take Stephen to that fancy place a few blocks away
W: Really pamper him, you know. It’s what he deserves
R: Wally, he set a guy on fire yesterday
W: Okay but to be fair it was the Joker
====
W: How did you find us?!
D: I typed ‘BITCH’ into GPS
====
W: I solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
R: I give it a week
====
D: Oh so some people can call their pets “fur baby” but if i call a child “skin dog” i’m somehow in the wrong
====
D: Hostage or not Sometimes it’s nice to be held
R: Just tell us where you fucking are
====
D: Knowledge is power. Power corrupts
D: Study hard. Be evil
====
D: Ooh yes, daddy
W: What??
D: You heard what i fucking said
====
R: Dick is a diabolical, sadistic agent of evil
R: Might just be the single most dangerous creature in the universe
D: Who wants lemon bars!
====
R: Whoa Wally, is Dick wearing your shirt?
W: He stole it. Cause he’s a villain
R: He stole it off your body?
D: I love my job
====
B: There’s ten people in a room, but only 7 chairs
B: What do you do?
W: Make everyone stand
W: Find three more seats
R: Kill 3 people
D: Kill 10 people
D: The chairs are mine now
====
R: Keep a bunch of wrapped, empty boxes under the Christmas tree
R: When a child misbehaves, throw one in the fireplace
D: But what do I do when I run out of children?
R: Dick, NO-
====
D: Look, mistakes were made—
W: By you
D: —And people got hurt—
W: By you!
====
D: I'm not a murderer!
D: Okay, technically I am
D: Not even technically
D: Literally
D: But I refuse to be defined by the one time I murdered someone
====
D: Have you asked Tim out yet?
J: No, but in my mind, we're already married
====
D: Thank you, Wally
D: Now, I'm gonna give you a compliment
D: But, it's only a compliment and it doesn't mean anything more than that
W: Oh, I understand
D: You did good
W: You love me, don't you?
====
D: Ask me what time it is
W: What time is it?
D: you ask me for the time and notice my watch is actually a live shrimp hugging my wrist, he whispers “12:30” but he’s guesstimating as shrimps usually do
====
W: Villain: Any last requests?
W: Dick: Let me go?
W: Henchmen: …
W: Henchmen: ???
W: Villain: Of course we don't let him go!
====
R: How many demons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
W: Just one
W: Real question is how many ladders does he need?
D: …
====
D: A peaceful walk in the woods really relaxes me and the fact that I’m dragging a body should be irrelevant
====
W: Caffeine no longer gives me the rush I need to thrive so instead I have Dick periodically tell me ‘we need to talk’ to give me the right amount of fear and adrenaline to keep me going
====
Sorry for the late update.
YOU ARE READING
Birds of a Feather Flock Together
FanfictionD- Dick W- Wally R- Roy This book is to give a look into the average conversation of teenage superheros and average rich kid problems (Contains birdflash, swearing, major gay, etc.) If you don't like it than what are you even doing here?
