====
R: I want to show you a picture from last night that really upset me
D: Okay, but in my defense, Ivy bet me 5 dollars that I couldn’t drink all that shampoo
R: That’s not what I wanted to -
R: You drank SHAMPOO?!
====
D: “Hello Dick? My hands are stuck in Pringles tubes ... both hands, yes …”
D: “Look, it’s not important how I dialed the number, just send help”
====
W: I hate you!
D: Jokes on you fucker
D: Nobody can hate me more than I already hate myself
W: ...Babe, we talked about this...
====
D: Why won’t Tim talk to you?
J: I walked in on him while he was in the shower
D: Huh that’s weird
D: Usually, he doesn't care about being seen naked
J: The odd thing is...he wasn't naked
J: He was fully clothed and eating mayonnaise
====
T: Hewwo! I will be your suwgeon today! Intewnal bweeding you say?
T: Let’s make ouw fiwst wittle incision :B
W: Dowcto wewre loswing him!!!（ ´・ω・｀）
T: Quick! Hand me the defibwiwatow!!
D: Please
D: Turn off my fucking life support
=====
R: Dick hasn't eaten anything but Easy Cheese and weed brownies for the past three days
D: He thinks it been three days, it's actually been three weeks
====
R: Dick: is this peanut-free? My brother has an allergy
R: Store Clerk: that peanut is not free, that’ll be a dollar
R: Dick, getting out a dollar: you’re lucky I hate my brother so much
====
W: Yeah, well, my dad was not a man
W: He was a one-star Yelp review come to life
====
D: Wait, you guys think I’m emotionless?
J: I’ve seen you emote once in my life
D: Good. Tell no one
====
J: Anything?
D: They’ve found a dollar on the pavement and almost killed each other over it because there was a vending machine nearby
====
W: You look stressed
D: Thanks it's the stress
====
D: Let’s get to business
W: It is August
D: Halloween is around the corner
D: I need to be prepared
W: It’s August
D: Details aren’t important
W: Not even Labor Day yet
====
W: "You’re really mature for your age"
W: "Thanks, it’s the trauma"
====
W: Putting “uwu” at the end of a sentence makes the sentence cute and harmless
D: I love you uwu
W: I just got food uwu
D: I’ll fucking murder you uwu
W: Please don’t do that uwu
D: No promises uwu
====
D: You were right, Wally
D: I needed to let my baby birds fly
D: My bratty little baby birds fly with their crappy little wings
D: Sometimes, you’ve got to push them out the window
====
D: What was it you were hoping I’d bring to the table - quiet obedience?
D: No
D: I bring the storm, I bring chaos and your imminent destruction
D: You made a mistake
R: Dick please, can’t we have a normal dinner for once?
====
W: I bet you can’t make a sentence without using the letter ‘A’
D: You thought you just did something, didn’t you? Well sorry to burst your bubble but numerous sentences could be constructed without employing the first letter of the English lexicon
W: Whot in fuck
====
D: The human life is a straining and tense one
D: I envy the life of a smooth rock resting on the beach… warmed by the sun… unaware of the trials and tribulations of sentient life…
W: Do you need to talk?
D: I wish I was a croissant
====
W: Tim: what if I pour coffee in my cereal instead of milk?
W: Dick, taking the coffee pot as he walks by: what if you don’t
====
D: You don’t get to pin this break-in on me
R: But you were the one who broke in!
====
R: Why are you awake so early?
D: Who said I went to sleep?
====
W: Dick, I think we should break up
D: If you dare say those words to me again I will make your disappearance look like a murder
====
W: I WISH I HAD TWO THOUSAND LEGS, SO I COULD SHOVE FIVE HUNDRED OF THEM IN EACH OF YOUR ASSES! - Dick at some point probably
====
W: What is Dick allergic to?
R: The entire spectrum of human emotion
====
W: Do you have any healthy stress outlets?
D: Screaming
D: Manipulation
D: Murder
W: …
W: Ok, so we have screaming
====
R: If I have to clean one more bloodstain from this rug, I’m gonna murder someone
D: Sounds a little counterproductive
====
D: How many hours did I sleep this week?
D: Well… That’s just my sexy little secret
W: … How many hours did you sleep?
D: Sometimes my eyes close when I yawn
====
D: Do you have a lighter?
W: No, I don't smoke
R: I have one
D: Thanks
R: I don't smoke either, I just like melting stuff
====
D: No logical thinking, we die like horror movie protagonists!
====
D: I am filled with hate...but in a cute way
====
W: "Go hang a salami" backwards is "I'm a lasagna hog" and that pleases me
D: How did either of these sentences occur naturally for you to discover this?
====
D: As long as I can swing a really big sword it doesn’t even matter if anyone loves me or not
====
D: Live fast, die young and leave a pretty corpse
D: That’s what I always say
R: You should say something else
====
D: My aesthetic is ‘would be suspected of witchcraft by a small town’
====
D: I'm ambidextrous
W: Good for you, Dick! Love who you love
====
D: ‘Home invader’ sounds harsh
D: I prefer the term ‘spontaneous visitor’
====
D: I scare people lots because I walk very softly and they don't hear me enter rooms so when they turn around I'm just kinda there and their fear fuels me
W: When did you get here?!
D: Exactly
====
D: Look, I’m going to be frank about this-
W: Okay, but can I still be Wally?
====
D: He shot at me, so I did what had to be done
W: Called for help?
D: Stabbed him in the shoulder
====
YOU ARE READING
Birds of a Feather Flock Together
FanfictionD- Dick W- Wally R- Roy This book is to give a look into the average conversation of teenage superheros and average rich kid problems (Contains birdflash, swearing, major gay, etc.) If you don't like it than what are you even doing here?
