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W: I like my pasta the way I like my medieval Italian literature
W: All dante
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R: Would you rather eat for free for a year or get new clothes for free for a year?
W: Clothes. Before you dismiss me as being superficial, hear me out. Do you know how damn expensive clothes can be?
W: Assuming that you get unlimited clothes for a year, you can get a ton of designer clothes, sell them for way less than the asking price, and make an immense profit.
W: With this, you'd be able to not only feed yourself, but have a shitload of money left over for Bill's, rent medical expenses, ect.
D: I just wanna look better than everyone else
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D: My little brother officially turned 10 yesterday and because I'm in another state I couldn't see him so I called instead to sing happy birthday and when I was done he whispered "gay" and hung up on me
W: Is this the same brother who put his burned hand on your heart because "it was so nice and cold"
D: That would be the brother
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D: Do you ever
D: Do you ever just have
D: That one class
D: That one fucking class
D: That just depresses you when you think about it because
D: Oh god you hate it so much
W: The bourgeoisie
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W: I bet Thomas Jefferson called his father Jefferdad
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D: If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous
D: If it bites you and you die, it's venomous
W: What if it bites me and it dies?
D: That means you are poisonous
D: Jesus christ Wally, learn to read
W: What if it bites itself and I die?
D: Its voodoo
W: What if it bites me and someone else dies?
D: That's correlation, not causation
W: What if we bite each other and neither of us die
D: That's kinky
R: Oh my god
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D: One time my brother turned around to me and said "you know what? We've never been formally introduced"
====
D: Damn, you people really need to chill out
====
D: I guess the real question is how can you not like Tesla
D: He thought woman would eventually rule the world because we're the dominant sex
D: He liked pigeons
D: He was a vegetarian
D: He was a babe
D: He was shy
D: He hated Edison
D: He's perfect
W: Yup, as long as you're ok with that time he went bonkers and tried to build a death ray
D: Are you serious the death ray was the best part
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D: If the multiverse theory is true, than there is a universe where it isn't
W: NO
W: PLEASE
W: STOP
W: OW
W: MY HEAD
D: Multiverse theory doesn't cover paradoxical situations
D: Except in the universe where it does
W: I'm having an aneurysm
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W: There should be a zoo of drunk white people doing stupid shit
R: You ever been to a frat house
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W: How are middle schoolers sexually active I wasn't even socially active
R: I'm still not socially active
D: I'm not even active
====
D: Update: I may or may not be in a cult
W: Dude
W: What
D: Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
====
W: My ex was behind me in the popeye's drive through and she screams out his window "you fucking lied about hating chicken bitch"
====
D: Yeah of course I got your text, I'm just ignoring it
D: Don't make it weird
====
W: If you ever have children you could introduce them to people by saying "hey wanna see what I made"
====
D: I wanna see a reality TV show where straight dudes have to read the shitty messages that they send to woman to their mothers
====
D: "Aunt Diana, I'm bleeding"
D: "Oh sweetie there's no need to worry that's just a sign that you're becoming a woman"
D: "Thank god, I was really starting to get worried about this arrow in my shoulder"
====
W: Imagine if trees gave off wifi signals, we would be planting so many trees and we'd probably save the planet too
D: Too bad they only produce the oxygen we breathe
====
W: Some kid at school today forgot the word pepperoni so he called them meat sprinkles
====
W: I just remembered the one time I was high and referred to hamlet as "The Fresh Prince of Denmark"
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W: Imagine if you could screenshot real life
D: Camera
D: The thing you're talking about is a camera
====
D: Take me to art museums and make out with me
W: But they said not to touch the masterpieces
D: That was the smoothest fucking thing I've ever heard
====
R: Is there a word that's a mix between angry and sad
W: Malcontented, disgruntled, miserable, desolated
D: Smad
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W: The best part about star wars is that it's just one family fucking up the whole galaxy with there drama
D: Keeping up with the Skywalkers
====
W: Poe got dameron, this is my jam-eron
====
W: Windows 8 can suck my dick
D: I can't believe how far technology has come
====
D: Doing eyeliner is literally like trying to draw a straight line using paint
W: Hold down the shift key
D: Oh yes you're right let me just hold down the fucking shift key on my eyeball
====
D: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
W: *sigh* because the 'pee' is silent
D: No because it's dead
====
W: Have confidence
D: But it's haaaaard
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D: Someone will die
W: Of fun!
====
D: My brother froze a dollar in a block of ice
D: He's very proud of himself
W: That's what I call cold hard cash
D: Did you just
====
D: You know who had straight parents?
D: Adolf Hitler
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YOU ARE READING
Birds of a Feather Flock Together
FanfictionD- Dick W- Wally R- Roy This book is to give a look into the average conversation of teenage superheros and average rich kid problems (Contains birdflash, swearing, major gay, etc.) If you don't like it than what are you even doing here?
